Found out my childhood friend / First crush is doing life for attempted robbery and it's messed me up.

[Flynn99]

Met him when I was 11 and he was 15. He was the "tough kid" at school but always nice to me and stood up for younger kids. This experience was so formative that I based a lot of my personality around him. My dad was abusive so he was the first masculine figure my brain tagged as being safe. I'd been bullied most of my life, and he was my first protector.

Tried contacting him again in December but he deleted his FB account before reading it. Later found out he got arrested for trying to rob his neighbour’s house and people were calling him a “smackhead” / heroin addict. That was 5 months ago, so it adds up.

I always knew he was kind of a rebel but I never thought he’d end up like that and it's made me feel shocked, sad and a bit empty.

I literally found out about this earlier today.

He must have had a very extensive criminal record to have got life for attempted robbery.

Under the Theft Act 1968 attempted robbery and assault with intent to rob are serious offences in England and Wales that carry a maximum penalty of life imprisonment. The person who caught him clarified that he intended on robbing the house.

Yeah it's sad. Feels like a rough around the edges angel losing his wings almost.

Yes.
The sentence is much lighter if it's a first offence, and much heavier if a firearm or bladed article is used.

Tell that to his victim(s)

When you say you "tried contacting him again" do you mean you had kept in touch all these years?

Otherwise reacting like this to a crush from when you were 11 is not normal, no. (To answer your AIBU)

Have you tried googling him to see if you can find out exactly what happened to get him such a severe sentence?

Were you in touch with him throughout your life because otherwise this seems like a huge overreaction to someone you knew briefly as a child. I would genuinely recommend speaking to a therapist to help you navigate these feelings.

I agree with others though that he will have an extensive list of priors if he's now serving life and I suspect you're looking at him as a positive person through rose tinted glasses.

Nobody is ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’. You can keep your memories of him, they’re still true. It’s also true that he became an addict and did a bad thing. That doesn’t cancel out your experience of him.

I grew up in a very rough town. I’m sure half the boys in my year probably have convictions now. I still see them round and have a chat and they’re just ‘old mates’. But i wouldn’t want them in my present social circle!

He won’t have got life for a first offence.
I work with addicts- all have a history of trauma. They aren’t bad people but have done some very bad things to feed their addiction.

I was about to type the same thing. All addicts have a history of trauma.

Perhaps this is why OPs school friend stood up for the younger children and why OP with her traumatic background was drawn to him.

So many wasted lives, it’s a tragedy

He isn't an angel who has lost his wings. You probably need a little help to reframe this in reality.

What? This os not a movie I prssume his victims dont feel like this

Do you actually know what sentence he got or are you just going off the sentencing guidelines maximum? Which is almost never given for robbery offences.

Oh please 🙄

Yes it’s sad but u can still reach out now and send him a letter saying hi. Would prob mean way more now that he has nothing else to focus on, a wee trip down memory lane can do wonders and now he has plenty reflection time ur letter might just mean the difference of a good or bad day.

Sorry but if it’s ’messed You up’ then you’ve lived a very sheltered life. I have multiple childhood friends and acquaintances who are in prison, some for much more shocking crimes than this (although what he did is horrible)

I have never read a more bollocks sentence in my life.

A rough around the edges angel? 🤣 He's a criminal.

You don’t get life for that these days. There must be more to it.

I know I laughed too

Sorry, but this is all very Main Character Syndrome.

He is not part of your life so i cannot grasp why on earth this news has "messed you up" i can understand a bit of sadness but come on. There really is no need for the dramatics.