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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too much negativity on here.. I’m bloody leaving

185 replies

Bush100 · 15/04/2026 22:57

Well what a disgrace is all I can say. Racists, negativity, disrespect and not to mention the know it all regulars on here šŸ‘ Some of you really need to have a word with yourself

OP posts:
Foxglovex · 19/04/2026 13:30

FoxLoxInSox · 15/04/2026 23:41

I’ve been around on here since 2010 and occasionally take longish breaks for my wellbeing. I’ve recently returned and am genuinely shocked at the online bullying, smart-assery and outright aggression & hostility of so many responses / posters. I’m really saddened people now feel they can talk to others in this caustic and heartless way.

I know I can be a bit frustrated and blunt sometimes but the nastiness and casual aggression I see / have been subject to is wild, compared to how people on here used to interact with each other.

It can make the difference between just about coping, and not coping.

I even feel nervous about posting this tbh, as I’m genuinely prepared for some nasty, hurtful and aggressive responses such as the OP has received on this thread. I’m feeling very traumatised from work tonight, and vulnerable in my own severe MH challenges, and aware that opening myself up for the really awful, snide, sarcastic ā€œyou do youā€ and ā€œgo awayā€ and ā€œbore offā€ and ā€œwhateverā€ and nasty emojis will probably make the difference to me tonight between going to bed feeling head and going to bed feeling woeful.

This is just my own experience / thoughts tho, please don’t shoot me down for sharing them šŸ™šŸ»

Edited

I am relatively new here compared to some and when I first joined I was going to post about something I was finding difficult at the time, as I thought this was a safe space for women. How wrong I was, thankfully I read through some of the posts with their vile responses and realised how toxic this forum can be. There are some who cannot accept a difference of opinion so resort to name calling and pure nastiness. The hatred of men seems rife, I have been called out for taking dh's surname, I mean who gives a flying one? What does it have to do with anyone else?

The anger and vitriol directed at anyone who dares to disagree is astounding. I have not read the full thread but I hope you didn't experience this mean girl pack mentality before going to bed.

I don't know what the pull is to this forum but I know I for one would be happier without it, I suppose I just hang on incase something useful pops up. Plus there was a post I commented on earlier and the poster thanked me, it was nice because she was feeling pretty fed up and by her own admission needed to know her feelings are valid.

Que the "why don't you leave then" "don't let the door hit you on the way out" comments.

Anonymouseposter · 19/04/2026 13:48

This forum is certainly addictive, people keep coming back against their better judgment. I’ve been watching posts over the last few days and I think the problem is that people are using MN for different reasons. Some people are coming on thinking it’s a safe space for women and are distraught because they are really upset about something. Other people are on for amusement and to show off how witty and uncompromising they are. Some people are posting for devilment to wind things up. I don’t think MN is at all the place to come for serious advice. It’s full of prejudice and projection. I have read some really witty and hilarious threads and I have learned a lot about how some other people think very differently to me but it isn’t a self help group and it isn’t confidential, it’s a business. Does anyone think that the standard of humour has gone down? The ā€œwittyā€ comments on this thread for example, are very predictable and lame.

ilovesooty · 19/04/2026 13:51

JillyComeLately · 15/04/2026 23:41

I think the constant name changing makes this forum a lot worse than it could be. No one has to stick around and be accounted for what they say, they just go on different threads and change their username.

Having said that, I have been on several threads where the OP seems genuinely in need of help, and the majority of posters who have replied, offering help and advice, has been good to see.

Agreed. I suspect the OP @Bush100 is making veiled references to posters who don't name change too.

SummerFate · 19/04/2026 21:21

Does anyone think that the standard of humour has gone down? The ā€œwittyā€ comments on this thread for example, are very predictable and lame.

Please feel free to do better.

SummerFate · 19/04/2026 21:22

Que the "why don't you leave then" "don't let the door hit you on the way out" comments.

Cue. You mean cue.

Be careful if you’re going to assume you know better than the rest of us.

SummerFate · 19/04/2026 21:24

FoxLoxInSox · 16/04/2026 23:19

šŸ‘†šŸ» This response right here šŸ‘†šŸ» to my genuine and from the heart post about many of us finding the cruel off-hand vitriol too much, is the most perfect example of what I’m talking about. I spoke without condemnation or vitriol, exploring some of the changes in tone I’ve seen over 2 decades here, and examining what might have driven that shift. I shared that it concerns me why some posters have to be such ā€˜mean girls’, mocking, deriding and belittling other women for absolutely no reason other than to show off to eachother. I shared that sometimes posters can be feeling vulnerable, or have been bullied or abused in the past and shouldn’t be treated this way on a mums support/chat forum…. I’ve not seen women be so needlessly vile to each other since secondary school. I can’t understand where this shift in the way people relate to each other has all come from - it’s bizarre to me šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

I ask all the sneering, ā€˜clever’, bitchy mean-girl posters this….

Would you be so horrible and rude and dismissive to the woman who treats your husband when he’s in a suicidal depression and successfully manages to save his life? Because that’s me and that’s what I’ve been doing all day. Im not a disembodied username to be mocked and jeered at for laughs. A real human. A mum to two lovely kids. A single parent. An NHS worker. A daughter. A really loyal and sociable friend. The person who puts your bin out when you forget etc. I could be your next door neighbour under an alias. I could be the really lovely dinner lady at your son’s primary school. I could be the person who donated the blood that just saved your mum’s life after that hip fracture. All of us on here are ALL of these things.

Please - think about that before you bully and dismiss and mock and heckle. These are real people you are treating like dirt.

I said the general theme of the above in a measured way in my earlier post, and got the above sarcastic, deriding, belittling and nasty post as a reply. 🫤

….Which rather demonstrates my point.

Fifteen years here, but I don’t recognise this now, nor the shameful bitchy bullying hate-filled cesspit of frothing rage and insouciant cruelty that these posters have morphed it into. It’s a shame. And I’m ashamed for it.

🤮🤮🤮

Petrolitis · 19/04/2026 21:27

Bush100 · 15/04/2026 23:27

Slightly hoping I might strike a chord with some of the regulars (you know who you are) who are so full of self righteousness, believe they know absolutely everything and have to have the last word. Some of these posters will argue about when your next cycle is. They just love to argue.

I'm a regular and i definitely know everything.

And like Arnie, the OP will be back

SummerFate · 19/04/2026 23:21

Waaaaaahhhh

Anonymouseposter · 20/04/2026 12:45

SummerFate · 19/04/2026 21:21

Does anyone think that the standard of humour has gone down? The ā€œwittyā€ comments on this thread for example, are very predictable and lame.

Please feel free to do better.

It shouldn’t be very difficult! Seriously there are some very witty posters on MN but ā€œthis isn’t an airport ā€œ and ā€œ don’t let the door hit your bumā€ šŸ™„

SisterThorn · 20/04/2026 16:39

Bush100 · 15/04/2026 23:16

This site is genuinely mad. The way some of you act, you definitely put those facebook posts up ā€œTo the person in the pink ford who beeped at me!! I put my indicator on before I pulled in front of you!! I have your reg and I will report you if you don’t send me a private message apologising. The unexpected sound of your horn nearly made me crashā€

This is literally what you are doing.

You want the attention, you may as well have tagged yourself in A&E and wait for the hordes of "whats up hun, dm me" etc

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