My husband and i seem to be at odds alot. we married last year after 3 years together.
he has children from a previous marriage who are with us most of the time. Over the years I’ve grown close to them and in my mind I’m a good stepmother. I try and balance supporting my partner and not stepping on their mums toes. My husband regularly criticises my contributions, saying things like I do no real parenting, that I’ll only understand his tiredness when I have a child. He has said he sees me as his children’s mum which I’m uncomfortable with, as they have a mum. For context I will do things like family days out, occasionally do bed times if he’s out, I play with them, and I do all their meals. I’m not sure what he’s expecting.
He is majorly focused on his routines. He works in the day and then has something planned nearly every evening. He’s also a weed smoker and this consumes a lot of time. He will regularly go to his friends and smoke leaving me alone in the house.
This week it’s come to a head as he’s been off for 2 weeks over the Easter holidays when I’ve continued to work. I’m a high-ish earner and my job is stressful. I’ve come home to dishes piled high on the sink and him asking me to do them as he dislikes the smell of leftovers. I’ve done it and dropped food on the floor and said “fucking hell”, he’s stormed over and (lightly) pushed me aside and said he won’t ask for my help anymore. He said he’s tired, he’s done school pick ups today and had to go to a 1 hour work meeting as he’s back next week. Again he asked what parenting I do - I replied I did dinners and bed time last night. He said I won’t ask again as you always bring it up I don’t need your fucking help.
Aibu to expect dishes to be done when I’ve been at work all day (8-6)? I’m dead on my feet.