‘Catching print’ trend humiliating DS - contact college or let it go for now??

[DandyPeer]

DS, 17, is feeling upset by this ‘catching print’ trend. Some might already know about it but on TikTok over the last few weeks there’s been a trend where women can estimate a male’s ‘size’ based on the print on the trousers. When this trend was brought to my attention by DD, 14, last week I thought nothing of it as it was just on TikTok at the time.

Apparently since going back to college on Monday, some girls are using this trend to mock boys and DS feels judged by it. He told me that in a group task, whenever he tried to contribute, the girls were saying things like ‘shut it A print’ and he and another boy felt quite humiliated.

At first I thought it was just a silly trend that will fade in no time (and I still do think that) but today DD had a friend over and I overheard the friend say ‘Your brother is an A print’ whilst laughing. I thought that was really rude and inappropriate. DD, told me that on TikTok people were saying it’s about making them feel as uncomfortable as they make women and it’s levelling the playing field. I do understand the argument in theory, but I don’t like the idea of DS feeling judged and embarrassed in college over something like this.

Part of me thinks it’s just a passing trend and will die out in a week or two, but part of me feels it’s crossing into bullying.

Would it be best to contact the college about DS’ bullying or just let it pass? At the moment that’s what I’ve told DS that will just pass after a few days or weeks.

Yes it is. But he’s old enough to defend himself. He’s a few months away from being an adult.

Wasn’t it Margaret Atwood that said something along the lines of ‘men fear women will laugh at them and women fear men will kill them’.

are you one of those parents that thinks the day kids turn 18, they don’t need any support at all from parents?

Yes
so the issue is’t just under the college roof

it’s under the OP’s own roof from someone unconnected to the college - and the op, like the college, didn’t address it.

Anyway - seems so coni

So you actually heard her say it in your house and you said and did nothing??

Presumably your daughter said and did nothing too?

And yet, you want the college to advocate for your son when his own family won't?

Blimey.

Not at all, however I do know that at college, there’s an assumption of maturity and if he has an issue he needs to talk to the college himself.

Im not saying it’s acceptable, I’m saying he’s old enough to deal with things himself

Yes she can. Generally she would need his consent but if it’s a safeguarding issue there are exceptions and the college will advise.

I would speak to the college to make them aware.

It’s never ok to comment on someone’s body.

The fact that remarks like that are usually made by men and aimed at women doesn’t mean that it’s ok to do it, unless ops son has form for doing it to women.

I think the poster means she can’t in that she shouldn’t.

I have noticed a trend among the mothers of boys that they are super protective of them and don’t give them credit for being able to deal with things themselves

And if he feels unable to because he’s embarrassed?

Sorry, not sure what you’re saying here. I was answering your point. The fact that it’s on tik tok, which is presumably where the fourteen year olds got it from, is a totally separate issue from what’s going on at college.

sorry - I didn’t mean she can’t. I meant she shouldn’t (over something like this, which seems pretty trivial).

@VeraWang DD did say ‘ew that’s my brother’, she did not encourage her at all.

To people saying he’s too old to be defended by me, don’t you think the college would take it more seriously if it were a mum who reported it rather than a teen boy?

This is happening at 'college'? In the UK? As in a sixth form college where 17 year olds are studying A levels?

Yes, it's poor, isn't it?

Well, my kids’ sixth form contacted me about an issue with my son as they thought it was serious. So if I thought an issue was serious enough I would get involved.

In this case, I would advise my son to speak to tutors if he was feeling targeted. I would base further actions depending on his wishes, the college’s response and any ongoing comments.

Ask your son, does he want you to contact college about this? He should be involved in the conversation. And talk to your daughter about how it makes her brother feel so at least she can be "let's leave my brother's print out of this please" with her mates.

Not the point of the thread but I don't understand how this works. What print on trousers? What is an A print?

Would you say the same to a 17 year old girl who was dealing with this sort of thing ?

If you think he's not to old to be defended by you, you should've defended him when your 14 year old daughter's friend, was talking about the size of his penis.

I'm sorry but 17 is still young, my 17 year old still needs me to ring college and they phone me we to collect him when he's unwell etc... of course you can phone. If someone said their 17 year old daughter was upset for a similar reason people wouldn't question you wanting to phone up.

I was wondering this but daren’t google it 🫣

You overheard it on the landing and you didn't go in and say something?

what would the response be if it was boys laughing aloud at girls with small tits.

Yes. When things happened to me at that age and younger, I didn’t even tell my parents. I dealt with it.

At 17 he needs to speak to his tutor if he's concerned or upset. I agree it's not nice but he's very nearly an adult.