‘Catching print’ trend humiliating DS - contact college or let it go for now??

[DandyPeer]

DS, 17, is feeling upset by this ‘catching print’ trend. Some might already know about it but on TikTok over the last few weeks there’s been a trend where women can estimate a male’s ‘size’ based on the print on the trousers. When this trend was brought to my attention by DD, 14, last week I thought nothing of it as it was just on TikTok at the time.

Apparently since going back to college on Monday, some girls are using this trend to mock boys and DS feels judged by it. He told me that in a group task, whenever he tried to contribute, the girls were saying things like ‘shut it A print’ and he and another boy felt quite humiliated.

At first I thought it was just a silly trend that will fade in no time (and I still do think that) but today DD had a friend over and I overheard the friend say ‘Your brother is an A print’ whilst laughing. I thought that was really rude and inappropriate. DD, told me that on TikTok people were saying it’s about making them feel as uncomfortable as they make women and it’s levelling the playing field. I do understand the argument in theory, but I don’t like the idea of DS feeling judged and embarrassed in college over something like this.

Part of me thinks it’s just a passing trend and will die out in a week or two, but part of me feels it’s crossing into bullying.

Would it be best to contact the college about DS’ bullying or just let it pass? At the moment that’s what I’ve told DS that will just pass after a few days or weeks.

@Balloonhearts @Blimms its happened at college too while taking part in a group task. The trend isn’t exclusive to college but they should still address it. It’s pretty common for social media trends to spill into schools and colleges these days and when they’re inappropriate schools/ colleges need to act.

I wouldn't expect a 17 year old boy to take much notice of his little sister and friend over silly stuff like this.

Yes I'd contact the college. Lots of posters have jumped on the comment made in your house, but you first talked about this happening during a group task in class and affecting another boy too. The teaching staff need to know to look out for this.

As for all the 'he's 17, leave it to him' posts, they contrast with a lot of threads where posters are urged to wade in on behalf of their 18+ and even twentysomething kids. He's not a legal adult. It's fine for a parent to help him tackle this.

This is wrong advice. I work in a college - we would want to know about sexual harassment. Speak to you son, if he can advocate for himself now, great. If he can't, let him know that you can

It happened under your roof when you heard the friend say it about DS… and just like the college, you didn’t say anything!

They will, and it's not at all inappropriate for you to advocate for you son in this way (with his consent).

No, read the OP more carefully.

OP - I would certainly have a word with the college, sexual harrassment is completely unacceptable whether it is boys or girls who are the victims The argument that 'men have been doing it for years so now lets single out some totally innocent young lads to sexually harrass' is phenomenally stupid (and I grew up in the 70s where we had to put up with a huge amoount of sexual harrasment with very little recourse for dealing with the perpetrators, but no way do I want to see any other human being subjected to the same treatment - male or female; bad behaviour is bad behaviour who ever it is directed at)

You don;t even need to be specific about them saying it to your son, you can be quite general as obviously several boys are being targetted, and it is bullying and harrassment and the college needs to stamp it out.

As for your DD's friend, I would tell her not to be so rude and unpleasant in your home or she won't be coming round again, and I'd ask her if she'd like it if people were making similar comments about her body.

So what have you said to your daughter's friend OP?

exactly

yes go to the college

but maybe also address the comments under your own roof!

Would your DS really want his mum getting involved? He’s 17.
Id have been mortified if my mum had contacted sixth form when I was that age.

Can he not deal with it himself?

Get your child off tiktok thats a start

I would inform the college (rather than complain) , they should take all forms of harassment seriously, even against boys. They can let teachers know to be on alert and use the I.T. systems to search for online harassment given appropriate search terms. Of course your son will try to deal with this himself as well. But we can all do with some backup as well, adult or not.

What makes you think her child is on TikTok?

@VeraWang I didn’t say anything to her about it, I overheard it from the landing. It’s a bit uncomfortable talking about my son in that way.

Anyway, that was one comment and has been and gone, I’m more concerned about him being mocked in college, but I will speak to him in a bit about it to see what’s best.

This all sounds odd. How did the sisters friends hear about it?

Young men have been doing this to women for decades. He’s 17. You swooping in and defending him against the comments will come across as pathetic and will earn him a lot more nicknames.

This is horrible - it’s not levelling the playing field, it’s sinking to a low level.

You really to pull your dd up about her role in this.

What a random thing for your daughter’s visiting friend to say about your brother?! Whilst he’s also contending with it at college from an entirely unrelated group of girls

Race to the bottom? Sexual harassment either way is unacceptable.

The main takeaway from this is that teens are dickheads. Hardly a surprise!

They don’t.

You can’t contact college. He’s 17.

I would also talk to your daughter - it’s not a race to the bottom; neither men nor women should feel objectified.

I agree.

It's no less sexual harassment than boys making comments about breast size.

Race to the bottom is not the way to go though is it ?