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AIBU to wonder if my son is trying to come out?

1 reply

Idontmindeitherway · 15/04/2026 17:08

We are a very masculine household with only boys in it who are heavily into football. My 16 year has always been a gentle soul/well spoken, into his clothes.
He’s obviously had to learn to be a bit physical with only brothers but it doesn’t come natural to him to be a ‘lad’
I’ve suspected since the start of secondary and from the occasional peek of his phone where he was looking at ‘pretty’ boys in front to mirror but he always denied it and got a bit cross with us when i tried to initiate the conversation about his sexuality.
Both his dad and I have made it clear that we would not care either way.
He hangs out with ‘lad’ lads, goes to football matches, party etc.
Had the odd girlfriend but it never turned into anything more than just hanging out.
Today he asked me if he can have a sleepover with a boy who he once met at a footie match who lives far away but wants to visit our city and he agreed to show him around.
I told him no as I do not know him but really feel it’s him trying to venture out finally.
I haven’t spoken to other half.
Even though he said he would not mind if his son was gay, I feel every time i try and show him proofs, he shrugs it off that i’m imagining things.
Actually my other half is a very gentle soul who loves gardening and is into fashion and sometimes i definitely feel he is more of a woman than I am 🙈
So I think he feels my ds is a bit like him and just a bit shy and late bloomer.
I want to encourage my ds to come if he really is gay but I don’t want it to become a huge issue where he doesn’t feel confident talking to me.
What do I do? Do I leave him alone?

ImaniMumsnet · 15/04/2026 21:58

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