Sharing plates

[cupfinalchaos]

This is now the norm in many restaurants. Much easier for them to bring out dishes whenever they’re ready and not have to remember who ordered what.

But am I on my own in not wanting to eat what other people order and not wanting to share the only dish I fancy on the menu? Even if I tell the waiter/waitress I’m ordering for myself, it gets placed in the centre of the table for everyone. Recently I didn’t even get to try what I’d ordered as I was in conversation and when I looked down it was gone! In one restaurant i had to ask for extra cutlery so the person with a cold wasn’t sticking his fork in..

AIBU to think restaurants have normalised an easy option for themselves?

@cupfinalchaos

i love Middle Eastern food and have a variety of options in the city, every single one has both sharing dishes and main course dishes, they all have a set banquet menu too (independent and chains). It really is an issue of that specific restaurant rather than all

Unless anyone’s specifically ordered a sharing plate, I’ve never heard of this.

OTOH we often share a pudding, and ask for one, with two spoons please!

I agree with you OP.
We did this with friends, a group of 12.
The sharing plates was very small.
2 drinks, a couple of mouthfuls worked out at, £60.
Never again.

Warm bread, charcuterie, (from lidl) a few slivers of cheese, probably lidl too.
We had already had dinner so it wasn't a big deal, but still never again.

Totally relate to this and agree. I eat out alot, especially in London. Last Friday went to an expensive trendy Shoreditch Japanese/Italian style restaurant and dishes were just thrown at us and then booted off table first next sitting. Also very noisy in there. Chosen by someone else for their birthday treat.

I actively check this now. I don’t like sharing with anyone other than my husband. Turns my stomach no matter how much I like someone.

I also don’t like tasting menus for different reasons but mainly because it’s not as good as an individual meal and the wine pairings get me drunk. Most people love them.

I do have sympathy for restaurants tho. Tough times in hospitality.

My op was about other people’s opinions, not their ability to speak.

I only really like eating in sharing places. I like to try different things and have conversations over food.

If you don’t want that, just go to plated restaurants or make it clear that you just want a specific dish.

I've never heard of this I'd hate it I hate sharing food. I don't even like it when you get your main meal and they put the veg in a sharing dish. I certainly wouldn't want my main that I chose to be shared out its my main

How does this even work if there are loads of you going for a meal do you get out your seat to walk to the other side of the table to dish some food up like a buffet or do you just keep having to pick the dishes up and pass them up and down the table

Correct. But another poster has said you should speak up and that it seems to be news to you that you can. You claimed it was news to lots of posters.

I, and that other poster posted out that's nonsense. Nobody else is surprised that speaking is a possibility.

You are arguing at cross-purposes.

Hey (friends), I only want to eat what I order so please don't eat (dish of food) when it arrives thanks.
I've done this before in Chinese restaurants and tapas.

I’m trying to picture what you mean and I genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying. Are you saying a main dish is brought to the table and then you’re all expected to eat from the same plate? I’ve never seen this in my life.

Now if you mean the main dishes come in platters and then each plate is served accordingly (ie a platter with 3 flounders for 3 people) then it’s just… normal? Or are you saying you only like food that comes already plated up individually?

I think now you are aware that this is becoming widespread you can be better prepared. You will need to say "I don't want to share the sea bream so if others want some better order two". You can also ask your server if they can bring certain dishes together - they might say no but you have highlighted your preference. I guess it is easier for chefs as they don't have to juggle getting several dishes ready at the same time, or keeping meals hot.

I would not like what you described - it's the reason I don't like getting takeaway with certain extended family members too, as they put everything on the side and the sharp elbowed pick all the best bits out and anyone polite gets mostly bean sprouts... or equivalent for whichever cuisine.

Do you usually take things so literally? Are you not able to grasp nuances? Or do you seriously believe I am not aware it is possible to speak.

I assume everyone has an empty plate, a party of six orders six dishes but they're not brought out together and placed next to whoever ordered that specific thing, but rather one or two dishes come out together and everyone helps themselves to what is on the table, whether they ordered it or not. Most likely to happen with curry and similar one pot dishes rather than a clear single fish/ steak per person type thing presumably.

Surely you just say to the people you’re with “I’m just going to order X, you guys feel free to share amongst yourselves?” And when the food comes, you say “that one is mine?”

being distracted when the food is served is on you. If you’ve ordered something you need to pay attention when it’s being served

It's a recipe for meat eaters to treat the veggie dish as their side and it drives me insane

I feel like this is an issue of the people you go with, not so much the restaurant really.

I’ve not come across sharing plates before. Not sure Im keen to either

You took it literally first! You argued against that specific point that it appeared to be news to you to speak up by saying lots of people on the thread were surprised by that too.

I think you missed something in your quoting.

I don't mind sharing food but it does depend who with as I'm vegan and I obviously won't eat any non-vegan sharing dishes. If I'm with DH, no problem as he'll order mainly vegan anyway. If I'm with my vegan friend then we'll happily share. And when we eat out with 2 friends who are not vegan, they share between them and we 2 share as usual.
This is because my friends and DH are reasonably people who are not greedy and do not consume all the food before checking if it's for someone else. We discuss when ordering. Oh, we'll share that. I love that so I'm ordering my own. That kind of thing.
I completely agree with the OP that someone taking all the food and assuming it is shared is not on. It's easy to say that you should have said something at the time but this kind of thing takes you by surprise.

I bet you are one of these people who says "use your words".

Yep. Already did on this very thread!

Why are posters being so pass agg about this? Agree or disagree but what’s with the obtuse posts ‘it’s a you problem’ bitchiness towards the op? Jeez calm down. 🙄

Getting away with it?
If you don't like a restaurant... don't go there? I'm confused by this thread.