Sharing plates

[cupfinalchaos]

This is now the norm in many restaurants. Much easier for them to bring out dishes whenever they’re ready and not have to remember who ordered what.

But am I on my own in not wanting to eat what other people order and not wanting to share the only dish I fancy on the menu? Even if I tell the waiter/waitress I’m ordering for myself, it gets placed in the centre of the table for everyone. Recently I didn’t even get to try what I’d ordered as I was in conversation and when I looked down it was gone! In one restaurant i had to ask for extra cutlery so the person with a cold wasn’t sticking his fork in..

AIBU to think restaurants have normalised an easy option for themselves?

I'm with Smithy from Gavin and Stacey, if you want what I've ordered, order it for yourself.

Quite a few well known London places.. I’d expect side dishes to be shared, not my main course!

So you went out once with a couple, the man was a bit unaware, or it wasn’t made clear to him, that the sharing player you ordered wasn’t for sharing. And he had a bit of a cold .

This happened once.

And you have equated this to being a restaurant wide issue?

Such as? How are they described on the menu? Even places that are traditionally about sharing such as tapas usually list solo dishes separately.

It was one example- and I’m sure not a one off where one person has a cold or infection? Yes, I know the chef also may have had a cold but still.. no thanks.

I was at art sessions club yesterday and they do this even though it’s not clear on the menu.

I find that even dishes not listed under ‘sharing plates’ are brought to share. If I fancy one of the deserts, everyone is given a spoon to dip in!

I’ve only been to two restaurants where this is a thing.
One was a pasta one where if more than one ordered a dish it was served in a pan to share, 7 out of 8 wanted carbonara and I the eighth ordered lasagna and ate all the lasagna.
The other is a local place that does a Sunday roast platter for two, DD and I ordered it as we wanted to try all the side dishes that came with it. We had to share with DH and my other DC in the end as there was so much food.
All the small plates places I’ve been to give the dishes to whoever ordered them and then it’s up to you if you share it.
Surely there’s loads of choice in London anyway so go somewhere with a traditional menu.

Yeah, I don't like this, either. Why do I have to share select vegetables with everyone else? It's lazy and it masks the serving size and true costs. Not a fan.

I’m with you - or at least my dh is! He hates sharing food and wants ‘his’ meal but as you say many restaurants seem to be adopting the small plates idea and food just comes out when ready and is placed on the table. A restaurant opened in our town before Christmas and it is very good. But the first dish that came out was chips (very good chips admittedly) and that remained the only dish for over 5 minutes - so they ended up being eaten before the other dishes which would have gone well with them came out. Dh ordered his own dishes but because everything came out at such staggered times - and he doesn’t want other people to go hungry while he eats - he encouraged everyone to share. We still enjoyed the meal, but did feel it is more to suit the restaurant than the diner. Never mind that the tables never seem big enough for all the dishes.

Agreed.. the tables aren’t big enough for the dishes because they’re prioritising profit.. sure they’re not running charities but annoying still. One of the only times I know I can order a dish for myself is if it’s something like fish and chips, or in chain restaurants which we don’t usually go to.

My DP hates sharing plates because he reckons you get ripped off.

i actually quite like it but I agree with others that you’re issue could be easily solved by better communication with the people you are dining with

Absolutely.. the server will generally suggest for example a vegetable for 4 people which when it comes is really only a single serving.

They do tell you when you're ordering, though, and recommend the number of dishes for your group.

I don't like sharing food and I've never had this problem.

If they bring something you ordered and put it in the middle then just grab it and put it in front of you.

I have to confess, I love sharing plates. It's my favourite way to eat. It's sociable and varied and you get to try things you might not have ordered otherwise.

Yes I know I can do that, it’s more that restaurants have now conditioned people to think it’s the norm now, so I look bad for taking the dish I ordered for myself!

I hate sharing plates or small plate restaurants. I want my own food on my own plate.

So basically you are saying "all restaurants do this" when actually it's one restaurant that did this when you were out with a rude couple and you didn't assert yourself when they started being cheeky fuckers.

YABU.

That's a you problem.

Even if I tell the waiter/waitress I’m ordering for myself, it gets placed in the centre of the table for everyone. Recently I didn’t even get to try what I’d ordered as I was in conversation and when I looked down it was gone! In one restaurant i had to ask for extra cutlery so the person with a cold wasn’t sticking his fork in..

This is just too weird.

When the waiting staff come over "Oh no, that's mine thanks".

How did you look down and it was gone if you'd told the people you were dining with, you were ordering for yourself?

It sounds like you're making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill.

I think you need evidence of more than one restaurant doing it before you can claim it's widespread practice.

I'd be happy if it was becoming more widespread. I love getting to try the variety. Never seen it outside a tapas/meze/dim sum place though.

I get this happens in say a tapas place but I've never ordered a main meal and had them put it in the middle of the table, they always say what the dish is and whoever ordered it claims it

Same in every restaurant I've ever eaten in.

And if I see them hovering, I raise my hand very slightly and say "Oh that's my one, thanks".

I really don't know what makes the OP and her experience so different from everyone else's.

I have plenty of evidence but am unsure of naming and shaming (or not depending on opinion) on here. One general example is modern Middle Eastern food.