Sharing plates

[cupfinalchaos]

This is now the norm in many restaurants. Much easier for them to bring out dishes whenever they’re ready and not have to remember who ordered what.

But am I on my own in not wanting to eat what other people order and not wanting to share the only dish I fancy on the menu? Even if I tell the waiter/waitress I’m ordering for myself, it gets placed in the centre of the table for everyone. Recently I didn’t even get to try what I’d ordered as I was in conversation and when I looked down it was gone! In one restaurant i had to ask for extra cutlery so the person with a cold wasn’t sticking his fork in..

AIBU to think restaurants have normalised an easy option for themselves?

Of course you can name a restaurant you've visited. Someone else already has.

Would Middle Eastern good not also traditionally be shared? I would have expected it to. Or at least definitely not been in the least surprised by.

And does the Middle Eastern restaurant render you mute as soon as you enter?

Quite why you can't just tell the waiting staff 'Oh that's mine, thanks' is beyond me.

Ditto telling your companions you've ordered for yourself.

Middle Eastern food has always been for sharing! Are you ordering a whole bowl
of tabbouleh for yourself?

My only gripe with sharing plates is if they come one at a time. I will typically discuss with my dining companions all the dishes we fancy and order a balanced meal of things that go together. It’s therefore annoying to all have a bit of fish, then five mins later some veg, ten mins after that a carb…

You said it happened once so why are you extrapolating?

Use your words and make clear to the group that you wish to have your own dish and then be aware when the food arrives (instead of deep in conversation) and speak up and say "Oh yeah, that's mine, thanks".

Don't you chat before you order, if we go somewhere with sharing plates option we say shall we share or order for ourselves. This hasn't ever been a problem for me. When they bring the food I would indicate it's mine or take it and put it in front of me. Maybe speak up a bit more.

I don't disagree, sometimes I love a sharing platter or sharing courses - and with certain friends it works out brilliantly. But I am more and more thinking I just want my own meal that I've ordered and I'll eat it (though I might let someone have a taste if they are polite about it.)

And also I don't always want a mishmash of thngs being laid out on the table in any order.

What difference does that make?

I don’t understand why people are being so chippj with the OP. She doesn’t like sharing. What’s she supposed to do, tell her friends to go fuck herself next time they invite her out? It’s clearly just a grumble

It's the insistence that this is some new phenomenon that she's observed but then only goes on to mention cuisines that are traditionally shared that has people unsure what she is grumbling about.

And the fact that there is no reason to tell her friends to go fuck themselves when there are plenty of opportunities at the restaurant to politely say you prefer not to share.

LittleMissClutter why the rudeness? Congratulations for stating the obvious.

No, she's supposed to act like a mature adult.

Tell them she's ordering for herself and tell the waiting staff too.

If her friends are all sharing their food, why on earth would they care what the OP does?

This is on HER, it's not on the restaurant, the waiting staff, her friends or anything else she wants to blame so she doesn't have to take personal responsibility.

I think it’s a ‘you’ problem. Surely when the food is brought over, you just say “yes that’s mine thanks” .. or you just pick up your plate of food from the middle and put it in front of you. Genuinely confused as to why you’re having difficulty in getting your own meal. I have never had this issue, ever. If plates are put in the middle, we all just take our respective meals 🤦‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

Well it's obvious to everyone but you from the sound of it?

YANBU op. I HATE sharing plates. They would be one of my room 101 things. People in our family hate them too. Maybe it’s a working class thing? I want my own allocated food, on my own plate. Sod off with your ‘sharing’ bollocks. I have strict dietary requirements too so I don't want any of your order… I just want my own!!! 😫

Ok to give one example last weekend we were at Le Petit Maison in London. We didn’t ask for sharing plates, but all the dishes were served as such including the fish, and came out in drips and drabs.

Not if you bother to read the whole thread including opinions different to yours!

Their website does indeed say this is how they operate.

They are prepared with techniques of extreme care and precision, à la minute, to protect their integrity. And they arrive at the table the moment they are ready. No waiting around, no sitting under lamps. No lamps. The result is a light, varied and healthy menu of delicate intensity, unique to us. Put the food in the middle and let the ingredients take you where they will...

If that wasn't on the menu as well I can see it might be a surprise there.

Still no idea why even being taken by surprise you weren't able to say to your friends, "actually I ordered the sea bream because it's my favourite fish so I'm going to have that one myself, thank you"

No-one thinks it's obvious you should use words to make your needs known?

Yes, I do not accept shared plates. I will always insist I receive my own dish. If anyone else is annoyed by that, that's a "them" problem.

There must be a lot of mute people on this thread then as I seem to have a majority who agree.

They are not agreeing that you shouldn't actually speak 🤦‍♀️

I think there are restaurants that actively encourage sharing and expect it, and those that only do traditional starters and mains. Of course you can ask to share or not and most won't mind.

If they place your meal in the middle just grab it and put it in front of yourself. If people seem to want it just say 'oh sorry, I just ordered this. I'm not having the other dishes. Do you wanna order another one for the table?'

I was in a Michelin starred french restaurant (one and only time, never again!) and they were horrified when me and my auntie wants to share a main course! I think they were horrified that I was wearing ugg boots too but that's another story. 🤣

Exactly! If you're going just by the vote then that is people who similarly dislike sharing. Nobody agrees that using your words is a novel concept or something you should struggle with.

Most restaurants do not have sharing plates, you are obviously dining in the kind that do and have inconsiderate dining partners

I hate sharing food except with DH/DC, however I never had an issue as when I’m with friends or colleagues etc we always explicitly state if we order for ourselves or to share.

I've never been to a place that does only sharing plates other than I guess tapas, but even then you can just have your own!