Incident at school - come and give me your thoughts.

[Newnamez]

DD is 12 and in yr7 (first yr of secondary).
On the last day of term before Easter she came home and told us that during the first lesson that day 2 'older girls' (she thinks yr9) came to the class (which had a stand in teacher that day) and asked for her by name and said she was needed at the school office by the Head teacher. She went with them. The girls walked ahead of her whispering.
By chance a TA that DD likes and chats to came out of a room and saw the three of them and asked the girls where they were taking DD. The older girls said 'the office' and the TA said i'll take over and they ran away. The TA shared with DD that one of the girls is her (TAs) cousin and said she was a ''little shit'' !! TA took DD to the office and no one had sent for her. TA took DD back to class. That's the bare bones of it. That is literally all i know.

Now, i hear about this at 6 that evening from DD and get more horrified the more i think about it. I emailed a head of year level teacher that evening. I heard nothing all easter holiday which is fine, but i heard nothing from anyone last night either. (yesterday 1st day back)

Ive told DD not to leave class unless an adult has come for her from now on.

Im going to ring the school this morning to ask to speak to someone in person about this.

Am i wrong or is this quite worrying?! How did the girls know my DD s name and where she'd be? Where were they taking her? Why were they wandering round the school? How are they going to stop this happening again?

What would you do/say?

TIA

I can’t explain it, but God this made me think of James Bulger.

Yes, part of me feels happy that she still has enough innocence to be oblivious to how this could have gone, and part of me feels she's unprepared for secondary school.

She (and 95% of the other kids in her primary) joined a big secondary after being in a fairly small village school. We knew all the teachers and saw many of them often at out of school events like the village fete ect. I have 3 older girls who all walked the same path. Our problems back then were small fry to the things i hear about going on at that school now. I'm glad this is my last one!

Yes an assurance that it can't happen again and reasons to back this up.

I don't just want platitudes. I mean a sorry is always nice - but it's not what i'm looking for.

This is concerning.
what training had the supply teacher had as they could have said no or been more curious.
what were the two other students intention?
Have they done this before?
what systems are been put in place to ensure this does not happen again?
what training is been given to supply teachers re these incidences?
what is the process for taking a student out of class to go to the office?
has this been escalated as potential safeguarding?
have you had a written response with plan of action from the school.
Have the school formally met with you and DD?
please keep a clear log of every step of this, it does not smell right at all.

In my kids school they do have children that help out student services and collect children from classes for appointments, pass msgs to teachers ect. It's done on a rota so each child will get to do it. But this is weird as they clearly didn't actually need your daughter did they otherwise why would they run off when asked where they were going?! Does your dd know them, is there some back story as why would they ask for her specifically. It's is odd I hope you get to the bottom of it.

I would want this thoroughly investigated……..and why were the other two girls randomly wandering about the school??

Has this been logged as a near miss at the school??

This is bizarre behaviour from those girls, but I honestly find some bizarre responses here as well. James Bulger? OP's daughter isn't a toddler, and I don't think that she could be lured off the school premises by two other students, especially when they said she was needed in the office?

Take a deep breath and deal with the teachers. But you need to calm down. You're getting yourself whipped into a froth.

But you need to calm down. You're getting yourself whipped into a froth.

OP seems calm to me, not frothing at all, and you're being way too literal about the JB responses. There can be overtones without it needing to be the same.

Update.
Have had a phone call from teaching lead (HOY) We talked for quite a while. These are the main points:

She is very sorry she did not respond earlier. She returned back to school today after illness over Easter.

The 'school' is very sorry and she personally is shocked by it and has not come across this happening before. She is very sorry too.

She would feel the same if was her child - she said a child has a right to be safe in school.

The TA reported the incident at the time it happened and the girls were rounded up immediately.

The parents of both girls were informed Going forward the main girl is going to be escorted from class to class within school.

The ringleader of the two girls has said she has no particular interest in my daughter, she set out to do this as a prank and spotted DD, open plan class room set up for that lesson (i didn't know this) sees supply teacher and knows DDs name. Gives it a go.

There is no policy where students are allowed to collect other students from classes. It should always be an adult.

Going forward if my daughter is needed it will be she herself who comes for her.

She is going to talk to DD tomorrow and reassure her and explain the point above.

She is going to ensure that all supply staff are aware that students do not collect other students from class.

She has said she is happy to meet me and DH. I've said i'll have a think and chat to DH (and MN) and let her know. She has said that's fine take my time

......

I think OP is being very calm and level headed in the circumstances.

I’d be v worried if this happened to one of my daughters. Call the school and ask for a meeting with the head. God knows what they were planning!

That's a very positive update.

Sorry I hadnt rtft. I’ve just seen the update and I’m glad the school are taking it seriously! That’s really reassuring.
I hope you and your DD are ok and will be able to relax a bit now xx

So presumably it was a prank. Unless this is a really rough school and you thought they might beat up/mug your daughter? I'd hope it wouldn't be that?

I feel bad for the substitute teacher. They should've phoned the office before letting her go.

But surely it's not usual for older children to be pulled out of lessons and told by the head to summon younger ones into the office for meetings?

If this is protocol in school then it shouldn't be. Only staff would or should ever be taking or telling kids to go to the office or anywhere in the school.

I agree - I would feel reassured by this. The only issue is the length of time they got back to you - but explained by the fact the HOY was ill (teachers are human too).

That seems a good response. No minimising, and a clear plan to prevent repetition.

I wonder where the prank would have ended? It doesn't entirely add up. Where they going to run away when she knocked on the office door?

The only thing that puzzles me about HOY response is her commitment to personally escorting your daughter if she is needed. How long is that going to be practical for? Seems a bit OTT .

At our school - like a PP said, we have a student "ambassador" who is the kind of runner for the day (delivering messages/forgotten lunches/PE kits etc). But they only ever go with written instructions and they have a lanyard for the day - so signposted as "legitimate".

You've had a good response to what it seems was a silly prank. Working in secondary school, my first assumption is always "kids doing something stupid" over "kids being actively malicious" because most things are "just" kids being stupid.

Going forward the main girl is going to be escorted from class to class within school.

I wonder how feasible that is?

I would wonder why the two of them though?

They've come up with a silly idea together. It's not that rare. Most really stupid ideas involve 2 kids!

This is really weird. The explanation makes sense on paper but... Year 9 girls are 14. What kind of 14 year old thinks this is funny without it being malicious/personal towards the victim?