AIBU to tell dd she is likely to grow more?

[tablestoolchairfork]

Dd just turned 13 and is about 5.1ft. (158cm) She hasn't had a period yet. AIBU to tell that she is likely still gaining in height until she starts her period? Or is this some 'old wive's tale' (ageist term but YKWIM)? I hear that girls grow the most and fastest in the weeks and months leading up to their first period.

Was this true or false for you or your dd??

It's not exactly an old wives tale: https://www.healthline.com/health/when-do-girls-stop-growing#growth-speed

Growth does tend to stop within a couple of years of periods starting.

There are ways of estimating final adult height: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/expert-answers/child-growth/faq-20057990

I hit my final adult height about 8 months before my first period. I was just about to turn 12 when I stopped growing (at 5 foot 7) and close to 13 when I started my period.

I spent years looking down to talk to my friends who were mostly boys then suddenly had a shock one day when I realised they'd all overtaken me at 15 and I was now looking up.

I have scoliosis and was monitored every 6 months as a teen, as this is the time when it’s likely to progress and get worse. The orpthopaedic surgeon told us that girls do grow until 18, but typically slow down considerably (or may stop altogether) two years after their periods start. Boys grow until they’re 21 on average.

You’re probably right, she is likely to have another growth spurt before starting her period.
Both my DDs were early developers (as was I), my eldest is 14.5 and stopped growing at least a year ago, my youngest is 11 and has started her period but is still growing.
In our family anyway the rule of thumb that girls stop growing about 2 years after starting periods has been right.

At 10 years old I was 5ft 1.5 ins tall. I was the tallest in my year by quite a long way. everyone told my mum and dad I would be really tall. In my 60s guess how tall I am now? yep thats right 5ft 1.5ins. My dh grew 3 ins between the ages of 18 and 22.

In the kindest possible way, you are telling your DD what she and you want to hear and believe. It may happen, it may not. the only certainty is that boys are always taller than their mothers (providing no health issues) with girls its a lottery. Help her embrace her height down play it as an issue.

It will be more to do with her genes and her diet. If her parents are both short then she is likely to be.
At 13 and 5ft 1 she might grow a bit, but she is unlikely to be 6ft tall.
Never heard the stuff around periods. Sounds a lot of nonsense. So no, don’t go telling her anything like her height is connected to periods.
More worryingly, why are you even having this conversation ? What does it matter what height she will eventually be ?

That is exactly what has happened to my DD! She grew about 15cm in height and 3 shoe sizes in one school year. Just before her period started. I have heard this old wives’ tale, did not believe it, but that is exactly what happened with my DD. The main thing is to look if she is growing in proportion and just to enjoy the process as you can not stop it. I have taken her to our GP, who made a referral for the hospital, but consultant there told me not to worry as DD grew in proportion.
Now my DD is a lovely, tall, long-legged 17yo!

It’s to do with the effect of oestrogen on the growth plates in the bones. Oestrogen is higher once periods start. That signals for the growth plates to close and to stop growing taller. My DD went on the contraceptive Pill for painful periods at about 12yo. We’d seen an endocrinologist for how short DD is at around the same time, and she advised that DD should be prescribed only a progesterone only Pill because oestrogen in a combined Pill could affect any potential further height growth. I can’t remember how many years she advised this should be for. DD’s growth plates were still open at the time so we were hoping she’d grow some more. She’s barely grown since then.

@tablestoolchairfork Your DD probably will have a growth spurt in the lead up to starting her period. She’ll start to have a small amount of cervical discharge in the 6-12 months prior to her first period. She might notice it on toilet paper or you might notice it on her underwear when you’re doing the laundry. It’s from the hormones starting to increase.

From memory I grew quite a lot before my first period and very little once they started.

My youngest DD had a growth spurt and was the tallest in her year in Year 5 and started her periods just after her 10th birthday. She reached her adult height of 5ft3 by age 12 and her friends started to overtake her in terms of height.
DD 1 started much later and has an adult height of 5ft8

I was told that adult height is reached two years after your periods starting and that certainly seems the case with my girls. Luckily she likes being ‘the little one’.

This article from a medical journal addresses myths about puberty, including that you stop growing once periods start: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1070801/

Scroll down to about two thirds of the way into the article and the section 'myth: menarche means the end of growth is near'.

I was the smallest in my class all through school - primary and secondary

I know, somehow deep in my memory I was 4st 6lb and 4'9" going into 4th year at school (pre gcse year). I started my period at 15.

I stayed small until I was 17 then grew about 6 inches in Upper 6th and landed being 5'6".

Started uni at 6 stone 3lb so weight didnt really play much of a part

I started my periods at about 14 but kept growing until I was about 18! I'm 5'3".

Started my periods at 8. Continued to grow till I was 11 then have remained at the same for height for 40 years 😂 5ft2.5

I was 4foot 11 at 12 started my periods at 12, shoe size 3, im now 39 and still 4foot 11 and still a size 3 in shoes.

I don't think you're unreasonable. Most people will continue to grow in height well into their teens.

It does seem to hold some truth, at least that you stop growing shortly after getting your period.
Edit: apparently not based on the study just posted. It has happened that way for me and many people I can think of.

I am almost certain I never had growth spurt, I have been 5'2 for as long as i can remember. I had my first period at 14. Apparently that was late but I don't think that had any connection to my height.

Your daughter likely has a lot more growing to do. You continue to grow until puberty is finished, so a later puberty often means a taller adult height. I’m the perfect example - when I started secondary most girls were much taller than me. I overtook all of them and ended up at 6 foot - started periods just before my 15th birthday, so way after most of my peers.

There maybe some truth dc1 was about 5’2 at 11 when started periods. Now 5’6 and stopped growing around 13. So within 2 years. However if you look at growth charts girls commonly stop/slow at lot by 14.
Dc2 started periods at 10y6. Was already approx 5’4. But i guess could grow the 4 inches her sibling did so max 5’8.
the growth charts would gave her as over 6 foot as shes off the chart over 99th centile at moment.

DD was the tallest girl in her school at 10 and the shortest by age 13 (in a huge secondary school).
She stopped growing at 11, having started her periods at 10.

So your theory might be right, but I can also confirm that not all girls continue growing through their teens.

As mother of a short daughter, I would suggest not fixating on her height, though.

I grew a lot after my periods started.

I started my periods at 14, I think I was probably about 5'4 at the time. I grew several inches at 15-16 and don't think I stopped growing completely until I was about 17-18, at 5'9.

How big are her feet? As someone else said, the clues were there - I had size 8 feet by the time I was 12 and reckon I couldn't have been more than about 5'2 at that age. They felt so out of proportion at the time, it never occurred to me that the rest of me would catch up!

I was 13.5 when my periods started, and around 5'3 tall like my mother but I had size 8 feet to her size 5. I then had a big growth spurt and at 14 I was 5'8. I grew another couple of inches over the next few years, and finally stopping at 5'10 aged 18. I don't know where the height came from; the women in my family tend to be quite short.

Think I was 13 when dad bought me a new bike, which I could just manage on tip toes at the lowest seat setting. He said dont worry, I will grow into it.

Its now many years later and I still havent grown into it!

So no your daugher may or may not grow more.

I’ve been the same (short) height since I was 11 and had my period at 14

Really interesting range.

I think IAMBU actually and won't be telling her that she is likely to grow, just that she may grow or may not and in either case it will be fine. Time will tell.