To look back at my youth and feel sad?

[simplethingsarebest2]

Probably am being unreasonable but I feel so sad!

Someone I haven’t spoken to got in touch with me recently and I haven’t seen them since I was 22. They sent me some photos of me I’d forgotten about and looking now I think ‘why did I ever think I was fat or ugly?’ And why did I take life so seriously? I was so worried about getting a career, money, my life course that I lived live very risk-averse. I prioritised my jobs over everything even though I’ve been made redundant, had jobs that fucked with my mental health and now all I want is a job that pays the bills.

It’s made me feel sad because I’m 34 now and I definitely didn’t make the most of my ‘youth’. I know I’m hardly an OAP but it’s different now. By this age we have life experience and the scars to show for it

It’s shallow but I look at myself now too and realise every day I’m going to show more signs of aging. I am not as attractive anymore. My face is changing, the wrinkles are starting and I have more grey coming through than I’d care to admit. I think everyone reaches an age when the bright youthful spark disappears from your face and that has happened to me. I suppose now I’m a lot more aware of mortality and while I don’t fear getting old exactly, I can see why people have a midlife crisis about it. It’s strange to feel like your youth went so quickly and that time is now done and won’t return. At that age I thought anything could happen in life, there was a world of possibility, but they optimism has gone now and been replaced with realism.

I find this attitude very annoying. My sister is like this, always feeling sad about what she doesn't have. It's exhausting to listen to.

When you're in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond you will wonder why you wasted your 30s obsessing over having a babyface instead of focusing on how strong and fit you could make yourself.

You need to get a grip, you most likely have decades ahead of you and with each passing one you should have the benefit of more wisdom and life experience.

Great post @Mischance .
"Grab life by the balls right now, this second" is the best advice.

I hope you get some treatment that makes life more comfortable for you.

Just remember you are at risk of doing the exact same thing in your 30s OP. You don’t want to look back in 10 years and lament the fact that you spent your 30s worrying about ageing and despondent. Accept it, move on and really think about what you’d like to do with your life to make yourself happy.

Yes, exactly. You're still doing what you are complaining about having done in your 20s. If you're not happy with that, you're going to have to figure out a way to repattern your thinking about yourself and your life, as it sounds utterly joyless. You're 34. You can still do whatever you want.

I do agree this is a bit ridiculous at 34, OP. Life can only be lived forward, so chin up and crack on.

Youth is wasted on the young is one of the most accurate pieces of wisdom you’ll ever hear. Couldn’t be more accurate.

That said, most of this looking back stuff is 20/20 hindsight. You’re 34, not 94. You’re arguably still in your “youth”.

What's to say that you'd still be alive, or wouldn't be living with trauma, if you hadn't have been so risk adverse? I feel that I didn't make the best of my 40s, but that was my peri/menopause years. You are still in your prime, you have time to make changes. It's true that you'll never be the age that you are now and one day you'll be knackered, your orgasms might not be as intense and it'll take days to get over a decent drinking session. I'd say to any woman in her 30s, get your shagging and drinking in. That's without discussing having to shave your fingers and what your toes might look like, in twenty years. Make the best of what you have, here and now.