I come from a Romany gypsy & Irish traveller family. General chat…

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Just as the title suggests. I’ve noticed how travellers have become more accepted and tbh a bit idolised over social media (The people who are watching and liking those particular videos). Anyway my mum was raised in a horse drawn wagon moving around, my dad moved around with horses too but was staying in trailers (Caravans). Dad is Irish and mum is Romany. I don’t really interact with people nowadays and no matter the ordinary life I live I still feel deep inside that I’m just different no matter what. Not in a bad way, just that the way I was raised will always be there. My youngest child is mixed race, her father being black and my dad has never met her and has no interest to. I guess I went against the grain although to be quite honest my mother raised me very very well. Respect was always standard there was no time for disrespectful children when it came to my mum. I’d never walk into someone’s home with shoes on. Never help myself to food or drink. Never just get up and use the toilet without asking. Don’t touch anything, ornaments and anything tbh wasn’t to be touched by children. Don’t dare use the show plates. My mum never allowed anyone in her place ever. She had a hate for anyone who drank or smoked, well til this day you’d never see her sitting or standing with anyone drinking or smoking. I wasn’t allowed to go round friends houses as a child or teenager apart from 1 girl who only had a mother and sisters at home. This is just a light hearted chat if anyone wants to contribute. My mum never went to school as a child so therefore couldn’t read or write but she’s taught herself little bits along the way. She ended up with my stepdad over 30 years ago now who has provided her a lifestyle most can only dream off. Her life up until a few years back was just horses and cleaning the home. I do feel that the way my mum raised me has made me a very over protective person which I’m glad about. My mum would never steal from anybody (Just addressing the stereotype), she’s a very holy woman and even if she didn’t have a pound to her name and she saw someone unknowingly drop money she’d stop and hand it back to them. I’m a carer by job and everyone I visit and care for i can guarantee nothing, absolutely nothing will be trivialised with me. I do take extra time and effort to do the little things for these people and I care for them as if they were my own family and if I ever saw or heard anything untoward whether from their family member or even other staff carers I would take it upon myself to protect and I wouldn’t stop until something was done. (That should be standard for all carers but it isn’t always unfortunately) Again my mum raised me a very empathetic way and to see the things that people regularly overlook in life. She is a deeply compassionate woman more than I’ve ever known anyone to be in this life.

@steff13 They do see other women and girls doing it. I for one am an example. Them choosing not to in most cases, doesn't mean they are disadvantaged girls from a culture who views them as inferior. It means they simply choose not to because they have comfortable lives, don’t have the stress of going to work, they do housework like every other person, go shopping, go visit family, just normal things all while living a comfortable life being taken care of essentially. This wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted as such, I don’t like the thought of relying on a man so I don’t live that lifestyle, you see choice.

I’ve had a few experiences with traveller communities. As a ward manager we experienced the death of an elderly woman who was clearly a matriarch in her community and it was quite difficult to manage the outpouring of grief in a ward environment. Clearly strong women rule the roost.
The other experience was a talk we had once when I was a student nurse about how the incidence of child sexual abuse is low in traveller communities because of some of the characteristics you talk about. Anyway, interesting. You will probably get the usual stereotypical comments from people on here with no actual experience or knowledge so good luck op.

If you report your original post to MN and ask them to move this to AMA or Chat, you might get more constructive discussion than in AIBU

Surely you can understand why OP made that comment given stereotypes about travellers?

Op, you say The reason why the children are removed from school before starting high school is because travellers don’t want other kids bad habits rubbing off on them

That’s incredibly offensive though. If non traveller parents said that about the traveller kids, it would be considered racist (and rightly so).

I don’t think anyone ‘idolises’ travellers…. Far from it.

OP, did you add this post to just defend yourself and the way you are? No one i have seen on here has complained about travellers/Romany/Gypsies.

I do find it offensive though that you trust other families that aren't of your origin. We are all good parents, but never letting your children socialise is just wrong, sorry.

You don't trust

I do think there's nothing wrong with preparing young people to work in trades and actually this is an area where the settled community are not encouraging enough young people to train & work.

But there are laws in this country about what age you can have children working, construction can be dangerous. I hope the laws are being upheld and appropriate safety provisions in place. I would not hire a contractor/tradesman who turned up with a child under about age 14.

I expect she's talking about the recent peaky blinders film and that kind of thing.

@RoseField1 That’s why I said the people who watch those videos. Do you watch them? Do you want some links? Do you want some gypsy friends that could probably teach you some manners

The loving and respectful way you speak about your mum is lovely.

@Bluewombler I didn’t know Mumsnet would openly have so much hatred. It is true what they say about travellers that if it was any other ethnicity or race people wouldn’t be so openly racist and discriminate.

you didn’t read what I said did you? Because I said I don’t leave my kids with anybody, I didn’t say just non travellers. And then I went on to say also travellers included because so so many were jumping on that’s offensive wagon. I do let my children socialise, they go to school and then I take my child to activities where there’s a lot of other kids she plays with. I do believe that is socialising. I just don’t let her go over to friends houses, if you do that kind of thing then great for you but I won’t be

I beg your pardon?
I've been nothing but polite to you on this thread, responded to other posters who have been disrespectful supporting you and you respond like this? I'm out.

@Muffinmam Hopefully your karma catches up with you soon to think it’s ok to openly post racist and discriminatory comments. You’re clearly lacking a lot aren’t you yet you have the cheek to make a comment about me. I’m a gypsy and you’re not yet you’re the one making spiteful comments… yeh sounds about right it’s always the way isn’t it

@RoseField1 I was meant to @ the person you tagged regarding idolising travellers. Duvetdayneeded

OP is certainly backing up the stereotype that travellers are volatile!

I know think the television programmes about Gypsies are idolizing them btw - it’s more about curiosity in the way that you go to the zoo or look at deodferent species or watch documentaries about morbidly obese people.

@olympicsrock How exactly am I volatile when there’s people on here openly being racist and discriminative? Replace the word gypsy with black when the poster said no wonder you come from a gypsy family you need to learn how to use paragraphs. I’m sure no one would openly say that… no wonder you’re black you need to learn how to use paragraphs. Outrageous attitude and behaviour. I would never let my child speak like that about anyone furthermore not directly to someone and you’re all adults. I stand on what I said. I do hope karma catches up with that person

Thank you OP. I would love to ask you some questions about your upbringing and life, but I feel this thread is becoming derailed by racists. Other posters have been trying to trip you up. You’ve been open and honest and that’s the only way we learn about different cultures. I don’t think you should continue to engage with this, it must be horrible to know what racism and hate is out there in plain print, but you might be made of sturdier stuff than me.

@RoseField1 But no I was talking about the endless traveller women that are all over Facebook, TikTok ect now making videos. A lot of them post cleaning videos but others just make general day to day videos.

I'm half Irish and my grandmother always taught me to be respectful of gypsies. There are some that live in settlements nearby, I went to school with gypsies, although they only tended to come to school for one term per year - that's all their matriarch allowed back in the 80s! A couple of gypsy guys come round my house twice a year to cut our hedges, they always do a decent job and charge a fair price, very polite and never pushy, I've never had an issue.

It's not a lifestyle that appeals to me at all, and i'm sure they'd feel the same about my lifestyle. There are some attitudes i have difficulty with, but you can't judge every individual by socital stereotypes. But generally, if you treat people with respect you get it back, I find the gypsies quite proud and astute - they know if you're being insincere or looking down them, nobody likes to be treated like that. There are 'bad' people in every walk of life but you should take people as you find them and do as you'd like to have done.

It’s really no surprise that the travellers who do have the attitudes they do won’t think any different and choose to keep their children away because just look some of you are so full of hate and racism. Imagine the way you raise your children with your racist views or are you just undercover racist? I’ve said numerous times here my youngest child is mixed race which implies she has a different father and just like I’ve also said I live a very ordinary life now and went against the grain. I don’t put travellers on any kind of pedestal. My mixed daughter is half Nigerian and I do everything to include her father’s culture into my life, I am welcoming to all cultures and ethnicities. I’ve reached out to Nigerian communities on social media and have had nothing but warm responses and guess what I included that I come from a traveller family. There was no racism or hate whatsoever. I’ve never said I keep my children away from non travellers, I don’t care what ethnicity my children’s friends are, I just simply wouldn’t trust my child going round anyone’s house when I’m not there as I don’t know what could happen. I’m still shocked at how some of you can speak about other people the way you do.

All you've done is shown yourself up with this comment.

What are your views on travellers being disowned by their families for not following “traditions”? A young man I know was disowned by his whole family after refusing to marry his first cousin. Will they likely disown him forever?