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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couples who live separately so they get additional financial support

598 replies

slimline · 11/04/2026 11:20

A couple I know got married over a year ago, yet they still live separately. She has two children from a previous relationship and lives in a 3 bed house. He lives in a 2 bed house and has no children. I mention the size of their homes because it’s clear that there is ample space for the entire family to live under one roof. I can’t think of any other reason for their separate living arrangements (considering they have made a commitment to each other through marriage) aside from financial security, as her eldest child has SEN and she doesn’t work. He is working, which I assume could complicate things if he were to move in. Yes, I understand it’s legal, but I can’t help but think they’re taking advantage of the system in some way. This isn't the first time I've heard of couples or families living apart in order to increase their income. I’m ready to be accused of benefit bashing or called all the names under the sun. Don’t care sorry!

OP posts:
previouslyknownas · 11/04/2026 12:55

MyLimeGuide · 11/04/2026 12:50

I think you will find some poor people have morals too.

The ones I know don’t
not when it comes to money and benefits

but as I said I don’t have a problem with what this woman is doing

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:55

previouslyknownas · 11/04/2026 12:53

don’t see the problem myself
Someone has to work 😂

If they ( or you ) are bothered then they can do the same

your attitude is the problem and proves why it’s better to claim benefits than work 😂

OP posts:
youalright · 11/04/2026 12:56

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:53

Good for you. Do you realise many working people suffer and struggle to keep a roof over their head, food on the table, bills paid, etc, because they’re having to pay for other people.

Less then people on benefits. How much do you think benefits actually are. Plus working people have more opportunities to increase hours and wages then the majority of people on benefits who are usually disabled, carers or single parents

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 11/04/2026 12:56

XenoBitch · 11/04/2026 12:38

How would you propose this "loophole" is closed? When do you tell the DWP about a new relationship? After the first date?

They are married. It’s not a first date.

youalright · 11/04/2026 12:57

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:55

your attitude is the problem and proves why it’s better to claim benefits than work 😂

Do it then quit your job and claim benefits see how well that works for you. Or you could keep praying something awful happens to your child so they become disabled since you seem to want that life so badly

XenoBitch · 11/04/2026 12:57

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 11/04/2026 12:56

They are married. It’s not a first date.

But the DWP don't care unless they live together, because they are then sharing a household.
That is all they care about.

MayaPinion · 11/04/2026 12:58

slimline · 11/04/2026 11:25

Freedom of speech. I can talk about what I want. Who is going to stop me?

Freedom of speech applies to everyone, not just you.

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:58

youalright · 11/04/2026 12:56

Less then people on benefits. How much do you think benefits actually are. Plus working people have more opportunities to increase hours and wages then the majority of people on benefits who are usually disabled, carers or single parents

Most people on benefits get the equivalent (if not more) to a full time salary. I should know, I’ve seen it. I can assure you working people struggle more

OP posts:
slimline · 11/04/2026 12:59

MayaPinion · 11/04/2026 12:58

Freedom of speech applies to everyone, not just you.

Who am I stopping?

OP posts:
andweallsingalong · 11/04/2026 12:59

I would have thought that as a married couple whom havent separated they would be classed as one household for benefits even though they live separately.

slimline · 11/04/2026 13:00

youalright · 11/04/2026 12:57

Do it then quit your job and claim benefits see how well that works for you. Or you could keep praying something awful happens to your child so they become disabled since you seem to want that life so badly

That’s the only response you can come up with. How original

OP posts:
youalright · 11/04/2026 13:00

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:58

Most people on benefits get the equivalent (if not more) to a full time salary. I should know, I’ve seen it. I can assure you working people struggle more

Bullshit where have you seen it the daily mail

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 11/04/2026 13:00

XenoBitch · 11/04/2026 12:57

But the DWP don't care unless they live together, because they are then sharing a household.
That is all they care about.

Isn’t that the very point the OP was making?

XenoBitch · 11/04/2026 13:01

andweallsingalong · 11/04/2026 12:59

I would have thought that as a married couple whom havent separated they would be classed as one household for benefits even though they live separately.

No, because you are only classed as a couple by the DWP if you live together.

From https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/universal-credit-and-couples-an-introduction/universal-credit-further-information-for-couples

*1. Definition of a couple
The Department for Work and Pensions counts 2 people as being in a couple if they live in the same household and are:

  • married to each other
  • civil partners of each other
  • living together as if they were married*
Usernamechanging · 11/04/2026 13:01

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:58

Most people on benefits get the equivalent (if not more) to a full time salary. I should know, I’ve seen it. I can assure you working people struggle more

So fucking tedious. Lots and lots of people ‘on benefits’ are also in work. Including full time work.

Lomonald · 11/04/2026 13:02

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:58

Most people on benefits get the equivalent (if not more) to a full time salary. I should know, I’ve seen it. I can assure you working people struggle more

What are you on about ?

slimline · 11/04/2026 13:02

youalright · 11/04/2026 13:00

Bullshit where have you seen it the daily mail

Nope. I’ve witnessed it first hand. Stop being a sheep.

OP posts:
previouslyknownas · 11/04/2026 13:02

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 11/04/2026 12:36

It is ALL of our business if we pay tax. It’s what’s called ‘a loophole’. Those things are always helpful if they are closed.

It’s not a loophole
it’s perfectly legal

dwp only care about who is living in the household not who is living apart but married

HisNotHes · 11/04/2026 13:02

I can’t imagine that the extra benefits would offset the savings from running one home instead of two.

treeteips · 11/04/2026 13:03

previouslyknownas · 11/04/2026 13:02

It’s not a loophole
it’s perfectly legal

dwp only care about who is living in the household not who is living apart but married

Yeah but really if you are married you should be considered one household

youalright · 11/04/2026 13:03

slimline · 11/04/2026 13:02

Nope. I’ve witnessed it first hand. Stop being a sheep.

Ridiculous

treeteips · 11/04/2026 13:03

HisNotHes · 11/04/2026 13:02

I can’t imagine that the extra benefits would offset the savings from running one home instead of two.

Nope.

Tacohill · 11/04/2026 13:03

FernandoSor · 11/04/2026 12:54

No one in their right mind is envious of the lifestyle of an unemployed mother to a disabled child living on benefits in rented accommodation.

OP is vindictive, not envious.

I agree that she’s vindictive and I definitely don’t think she’s jealous of her lifestyle either.

But she’s definitely jealous too for some reason, to spend so much energy thinking about this woman.

I’m wondering if her DH turned OP down or she’s a friend or sibling who happens to be very pretty and OP is bitter.

slimline · 11/04/2026 13:03

treeteips · 11/04/2026 13:03

Yeah but really if you are married you should be considered one household

Exactly

OP posts:
FernandoSor · 11/04/2026 13:03

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:58

Most people on benefits get the equivalent (if not more) to a full time salary. I should know, I’ve seen it. I can assure you working people struggle more

The median full time salary in the UK is £39k.

The idea that the majority of people on benefits receive that (or indeed more) is risible.