Couples who live separately so they get additional financial support

[slimline]

A couple I know got married over a year ago, yet they still live separately. She has two children from a previous relationship and lives in a 3 bed house. He lives in a 2 bed house and has no children. I mention the size of their homes because it’s clear that there is ample space for the entire family to live under one roof. I can’t think of any other reason for their separate living arrangements (considering they have made a commitment to each other through marriage) aside from financial security, as her eldest child has SEN and she doesn’t work. He is working, which I assume could complicate things if he were to move in. Yes, I understand it’s legal, but I can’t help but think they’re taking advantage of the system in some way. This isn't the first time I've heard of couples or families living apart in order to increase their income. I’m ready to be accused of benefit bashing or called all the names under the sun. Don’t care sorry!

If he owns his house he could be bringing in a rental income if he moved in with her so I am not sure they are financially better off doing it this way.

And even if he just rents they would save a lot from him not paying a seperate lot of rent/bills if he moved in with her.

It’s probably for financial reasons but equally I wouldn’t want to live with someone with two kids who aren’t mine. Seems unusual they got married though.

She still wouldn’t work and she would still receive benefits for her child if he moved in.

Freedom of speech doesn't mean you can say whatever you want, it means you will not suffer legal or other state punishment for doing so.

You do, however, receive the social consequences for your opinions, in this case you have shared them and others have said why would you want to talk like this unless you're a mean judgemental benefit basher.

And on living separately - I say on every thread, under many different usernames, that it is madness to move your children in with another man and his children. I think blended families are bad bad bad for the original kids, without exception. This would be doubled when it comes to children with SEN who need safe predictable spaces at home.

I also think it's ok to fall in love and commit to another adult when an earlier relationship fails - this couple seem to be doing something sensible.

There's no way additional benefits outweigh the cost of running two homes, two sets of food and hot water etc etc.

Thanks! It’s Saturday. I’m off work

He may not be willing to financially bankroll her.

Because she receives more benefits this way.

Maybe her children don't feel comfortable with a new partner in the domestic space. I imagine this could well be the case for the SEND child. So she has chosen to prioritise her children's comfort over her own. And they have married to give her financial and legal protection. I would say that she is ticking all the MN boxes of being a good parent and protecting herself so far. How do you know she is claiming benefits? Maybe she has financial support from family or the children's father or another source?

So they both pay rent, both pay council tax, both pay utilities - yet you think it’s down to financial reasons 🙈

If you’re that bothered grass them up to the DWP otherwise stop moaning.

There are far more people on MN that choose to live apart in healthy relationships than I come across IRL. Whether or not couples blend their families and live together is their business and far more complex than only financial considerations. But if you want to spend your free time judging people then go for it.

Not all of them.

So you spend your day off sitting there just thinking about other people and their lives?

You definitely need a hobby.

For what? As the OP clearly said, they aren’t doing anything illegal. There’s nothing to ‘grass’ for.

Mumsnet is being utterly bombarded with those right wing funded bots / trolls constantly posting about the feckless/ criminal/ undeserving poor.

i wonder why they’ve moved on from immigration- forward planning for when its been exhausted as a source of hate and discussion I guess, conveniently lining up the poor as the next group to hate.

Bit of a derail.

A friend of mine is a local councillor. About 10 years ago they granted planning permission to convert a big house into small flats for social housing, because there were so many single people on the housing waiting list.

No one wanted them, because all those single people were actually couples who had both put themselves on the list to increase their chances of getting a place.

Depending on local authority, if both unemployed, on full UC, their whole rent will / could be paid, council tax fully subsidised, so actually they are better off in 2 households, joint UC is less, or looking at it differently the taxpayer has more costs. I worked in a housing association and we often saw this, including one partner subletting their home!!

Will do!

What benefits would they keep/lose then?

Are you saying you think she is posing as a single parent to get extra benefits? I think she would have to prove her and husband are legally separated etc.

And even if that's the case, it's not a great way to live is it. Just leave them to it.

For what?

Maybe they wan’t to live apart? DLA for children is not means tested as far as I know so wouldn’t matter if they lived together, and it’s also none of your business.

Mumsnet is my hobby ❤️

Mine too! Different countries, still married.

It is an issue but not in the way you think. There is a real problem with our benefits system that people are punished when they live with their spouses. When children have SEN, especially high needs there is a reason why a parent (usually mother) can't work. Being in a relationship doesn't change the level of support that child needs and yet those benefits will stop.

It's the same for adults where one is disabled. They loose their benefits despite needing them.

You should worry less about things like this and worry more about the 12 billion we miss out on because our government won't actually collect the taxes we're owed by rich people/corporations.