10 month old DH said i am being lazy.

[ILoveFatFaceSocks]

When DD (10months) wakes, I change her and then give her milk. I then pop her in her playpen where she happily plays with toys. I then make a coffee and watch some TV - play pen is infront of TV (well TV in on wall, playpen is infront of couch). I sometimes just watch her and occassional look up at TV sometimes I will watch the TV. I enjoy having my morning coffee and she is happy playing. After 30mins / 1hr or so I then take her through to kitchen where I give her actual breakfast, porridge, yoghurt, etc.
DH wfh and when walking past livingroom popped head in to say hi. He looks shocked thst I had a coffee and was lying on sofa watching TV. He asked was mummy having a day off and that the play pen isnt for me watching TV and that im being lazy. I was so annoyed. Is he right?

You have a 10 month old and DH has only just noticed you do this? Shows how involved in the child care he is. He can sit with baby for 30 minutes himself and ket uou have your bresk in peace if hes yhat worried. Honestly, its fine to give yourself a bit of a breathing space before a full on day. Some posters obviously have doubts about any screens at all for young children and you could think about dome of the practical solutions that have been suggested.

Sounds very similar to my morning! Up around 7.30am with my 8 month old, change him, feed him his bottle. Once he’s had his bottle and he’s full of beans, he goes on his play gym with all his toys whilst I sit next to him with my breakfast watching Corrie.

Does sound lazy but it’s what I did with my first who was an easy baby

My programme is Eastenders! 😂 I know its dramatic and a bit rubbish but I do love it 😂 used to watch corrie years ago

Weve only had the playpen for 5 weeks or so

I mean this as advice not criticism, your problem is you need to baby train sleeping. Your little one needs to be sleeping now 7 till 7. She needs to be self settling. If you had a good sleep pattern you would have time for self care, watching tv, food prep ect. This is where you need to concentrate your efforts. Make sure she is having regular solids to keep her full and start dropping day time naps. It sounds like she's in charge all day long not you.

He can fuck right off. Looking after baby 24/7 is all consuming. If you can have a half hour whilst baby is happy and occupied, take it. I hated my DH having an opinion on what I was doing with the kids when he worked from home during lockdown.

Well that thread title was misleading 😂
Was so curious as to how one had a 10 month old DH 🤷‍♀️

She used to sleep 11hrs each night but when we transitioned to her big cot that all changed. She now wakes every few hours. She is on 3 meals a day with some milk throughout day (always bottle first thing and before bed, sometimes afternoon, not always). I dont want to cut daytime naps as she never used to nap and that was a fun time lol I have cut them down so they aren't as long.

My title is misleading 😂😂

When my DDs were babies I couldn’t function without my tea first thing in the morning. I’d be up through the night with dd1 who was a ratbag for waking through the night until she was 4. I’m jealous you have a playpen, I wouldn’t have thought of that.

When your dh says ‘what are you teaching your dd?’ Tell him that you’re teaching her that self care is important too. Does your dh take a lunch break?
If 30 mins of you having a coffee in peace means you’re a better mum for the rest of the day then imo that’s valid.

You're doing a grand job OP. You're balancing her needs as well as yours. Ignore the excessively critical "perfect parents" and DH. He sounds jealous that he's not having a sit and a coffee to ease into his day.

Absolute rage bait for those of us that are in the trenches for early risers. Some mornings I can remember making a hot drink and just staring into the abyss while my child played with their toys after being up multiple times in the night. I would have given my left tit to be able to sit and have a hot drink in peace at 8am

if your husband is so concerned he can entertain her while you have a drink when he is WFH. Sounds like he wants you up and grafting from the second you wake up because there’s resentment there you are off.

Enjoy it while you can. X

Sorry if I have missed it @ILoveFatFaceSocks how does your dh manage dd when he gets her up?
If he never has, then about time he did.
He seems to have unrealistic expectations based on lack of experience.
A bit more hands on might make him less judgemental.

Op I hope this makes you feel better: I nanny twins and sometimes sit in the corner of the playpen and drink my coffee…..

like you our playpen is the size of the living room (so space for little ball pit, mini climbing frame, toys, books ect) and the rest of the house isn’t safe for the babies unless an adult is right there watching. They spent a lot of short bursts in there (ie while I clean up breakfast, while I make lunches & pack bags for an activities, clean up after snacks, unstack dishwasher, while I pop to loo). The kitchen isn’t safe for twins whilst trying to get anything done, if you aren’t actively on them one is trying to climb onto the kitchen table while the other is trying to turn on the oven 🤦‍♀️

Jeez what's with the perfect parent brigade! Op you are doing just fine, a bit of tv every day is not going to hurt your baby. You are allowed to have a bit of time to watch a show whilst your baby is safe and happy. You can also let your baby watch as much tv as you decide because she is your baby.

Your DH sounds like he is a little jealous if anything! Just ignore his comment and don't let it upset you.

You know your baby, your not being a bad parent or neglectful at all. Don't let perfect parents make you feel down.

My DC used to watch bedtime hour of tv and would watch tv sometimes during the day! They are teenagers now and you know something, they hardly watch tv. They don't remember the times I put the tv on and lay on the sofa all day because I was exhausted or the days they had breakfast for dinner because I was to ill or exhausted to do anything.

Someone will always judge your parenting no matter what. The perfect parents out there always find something to feel superior about. You enjoy you tv in the morning and tell DH to take over childcare if he has an issue with it.

If your DH WFH he should be helping out in the morning. No I didn’t have the tv on during awake time when my kids were that age.

tell him to get his lazy judgemental arse out of bed and provide the all-singing, all-dancing educational
showcase that she’s obviously missing.

😂😂😂😂

1. he can try looking after her for a day
2. I find my baby plays best on her own first thing as she’s rested from her long sleep so yes I take advantage of that time and also have a coffee / chill. I don’t watch tv but that’s just preference. Later in the day her independent play gets less and less as she gets more tired

Sounds perfectly fine to me.

Ignore your DH.

I think it’s interesting that first you said it was 30 minutes, and then you said it was 30/60 minutes…… I suspect it’s not 30 minutes.

I think you need to separate two things:

Is it ideal/great parenting?
Is your husband wrong to point it out?

They aren't entirely related. Because your husband could be (about half of the replies seem to agree with him) right, that it is a bit lazy. Personally, I didn't do it when my son was 10 months old, and I don't buy the stuff about "independent play" - we all know that isn't the reason, it is just a justification that some on here give after the fact.

Personally, in your shoes, you say that your child can entertain themselves for 30-60 minutes while you watch TV, but then needs to see something themselves while you cook? So why not just do the food prep/as much of the cooking while they are happy entertaining themselves? I know they are in different rooms, but worst case - bring some of the chopping into the living room? do you have a table in there? Or can you move the playpen so it can be seen through the kitchen door? This is obviously very house-dependent...

Anyway, none of this answers the second question though, which is - is your husband wrong to point it out? Because for that, it depends on how your husband is. Is he a devoted dad who gives 100% all the time, when he isn't working to his daughter? Never shows her screens, never ignores her for what he wants etc? If so, then maybe he is justified in criticizing you.

But if he isn't the perfect dad? Then obviously calling you lazy was very wrong.

30 minutes come round before you start the day is fine (or as a break in the afternoon) an hour seems a bit long to expect a 10m old to entertain themselves.
Does your dh ever put a solo day in? I wonder how full on he would be.
He’s a fick for making you feel guilty instead of asking you if he was unsure about your method

So when you were breastfeeding for hours and hours you just sat there in silence alone with the baby? No TV for entertainment? Or you could manage baby in one hand and War & Peace in the other?