AMIBU

[Teacake808]

Need to know if i am over doing it ...? My child grew up in the same area she is now graduating from high school( unfortuately we had to move but daughter still finished her time at school) She has had 1 of the same friends from nursery through to high school (still live in the area) of which we had for many sleepovers over the years, my daughter never once slept over there. My daughter missed the last bus 2 nights ago and this mother would not let her stay over(12 am) my daughter was left out in the streets. Dad got her not long after.. why are people so bloody cruel or am i expecting too much( obviously i doubt this but just checking)

Nope, it's pretty bad to leave her at that age imo. Could they not have run her home? Called a cab? Just, well, crappy people.

Some people just don’t give a fuck. And this woman sounds like one of these people. They have a very cold “not my problem” attitude to life.

Any decent human being would have offered to let your daughter wait in their house until their lift arrived. Or, they would have taken her home themselves.

That wasn’t your point though. Most of your ranting is about how cruel and unfair it is that your dd has never had a sleepover at this girls house despite her having them at yours.

Obviously your dd should have been allowed to wait in the house, but bad things don’t happen automatically because it’s midnight and clearly this family have a reason for not wanting to host peope at night. That is their prerogative and it’s not up to you to judge them negatively for it. If you didn’t want your daughter to have the company of theirs, you didn’t have to continue to invite her for sleepovers.

If your DH picked her up just 20 minutes later, why was sleeping at the friend’s house for the night your first preference?

I think it's very irresponsible and cruel for the other family to do this. I'd have been furious too . It really doesn't matter why she missed the bus !

I assume that was aimed at me? A 17yo should be able to.get themselves to a bus stop in time, or make alt arrangements.

There are a myriad of reasons why your DD wasn’t asked in but the fact she had never been allowed in before was a fair indicator. You seem very angry, I don’t think snapping at people for having a different opinion is particularly helpful.

I agree with you OP - if anyone was stranded/missed the last bus /train etc., a normal person would have let them stay. Or one of them could have run her home. The very least to let her wait indoors safely until she was collected. In all they years they have known each other - it was exceptional circumstances.

Clearly you are not friends with the parents, has the daughter given any reason for the bizzare behavior.

Maybe parents have lives that mean they are not on call to be teenage friends taxi driver?

If she's known this girl for 15 odd years and has never been invited then actually I think the last thing you would expect would for her to be invited there. In fact I'd think you'd be thinking well she definitely won't be invited there as we've known them for 15 years and they've not invited her thus far.

Yeah, no way am I letting a 17 year old young woman walk around the streets late at night, if I can offer help, I would.

I am with you OP.

Sadly her friend's parents are complete arsewipes and I would be 🤬 too with them. Cunts

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta I'm not snapping at anyone who's opinion differs from mine. You are entitled to your opinion as am I. Yes I agree that she should have caught her bus in plenty time, however this is obviously not the case and no ubers were available unfortunately. I personally along with the fast majority of normal people could not leave a 17 year old girl out like that. As a few nice posters commented that at the very least they could have let DD inside until dad arrived.

I think not hosting sleepovers is a fair choice. We all make our own.

Did she actually leave your daughter outside on her own? Or did they stay with her until she was collected by her father?

@Swiftie1878 yes I do understand that not everyone hosts sleepovers but under the the circumstances (never happened before) I think it would have been a kind thing to do. The girls were on their way home from a gathering and I believe once they realised the bus was missed, her friend phoned her mum and explained the situation and the mum said DD could not sleepover. Even then my daughter still walked her friend home whilst trying to get a uber. She didn't contact us right away as she knew we would be a bit dissapointed she had missed the last bus. She eventually got home with dad ar 1 am...Leason learned

Ah, well there's your issue then. Bit of misplaced guilt perhaps that your daughter didn't feel she could call you for help? So it's easier to blame the other parents than yourself.

Okay so you are blaming someone for not taking her in, when in reality she didn’t feel comfortable contacting her own parents?

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots that is not the case at all but thank you for the feedback. You appear to be as cold as the parent in question, perhaps some therapy would help 😚

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta oh you again ! It's not a case of feeling uncomfortable. She tried to sort it herself first.

Why so defensive? Suggesting people get therapy, calling people all kinds… it’s not the best look

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta again thanks for the feedback. Do have a lovely day.

Yes, being snotty to posters is really helping 😂

I really hope you advised your dd to drop her friend. No friend treats their friend like this. At 17 she surely should have said something to her parents??

Do you think that your attitude might be linked to why your daughter has never been welcomed to have a sleepover? Just a thought.

Why was your dd sleeping over the first choice? If your DH got her not long after, why was picking her up not the first choice? It does read as if you couldn’t be bothered.

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta are you ok? Very argumentative