DP looking to protect gift towards house move

[Sunnydayzz]

DP and I own our current house 50/50 (he contributes more to the Mortgage/bills as he’s full time and earns more).

We are looking to move house, and he has been told he will be gifted a sum of money as early inheritance. This will be used to enable us to upsize as we’ve had a child (no plans for more)

He says that he wants it to be documented that in the event of us splitting/selling up, this amount is solely his.

I feel a bit irked…do you think what he’s proposed is fair? And would it need to be legally documented or would something simpler suffice?

Posts like this are missing presumably that OP takes on more of the childcare burden. And in any case, where bills are concerned, payments should always be proportionate to income.

However, I do agree that he should ring fence his 'inheritance' contribution. That's the whole point of being partners and not married - you haven't pooled your resources and committed to being financially joined.

We did this when we got our house 5 years before we were married. I was the person putting the deposit in so I had a Deed of Trust written up to ring fence that if we sold the house. We are married now so I think it probably voided it but there was no way I was doing it without it. It wasn’t because I didn’t love or trust my now DH but I believe savings/investments aren’t joint until married. To be honest, even when married I still think women should have their own independent means but that’s a different thread!

😂

I do both. Board meetings take a lot of prep, can be extremely stressful and often result in more work.

Pilates is lying about, doing some stretches, having a laugh and some coffee afterwards.

No comparison!

I'd have advised him to do the same thing. Its called a deed of trust

Very sensible and fair I think.

It's quite normal if you're not married

If he’s putting it towards the house the money (AFAIK) will still go into a shared pot. If you do divorce the house will be deemed to be a family home, bought to raise your mutual child - split 50/50 if you divorce. Or allocated to the resident parent until the child is 18. Seen this happen in plenty of friends‘ divorces.

Sorry, seen you’re not married (apologies). No idea really.

I would 100% do the same thing and would advise anyone else to do the same thing. It’s not like it’s your money, so it’s nothing to do with you.

I’m guessing he doesn’t want to get married?

He is not entirely being unreasonable but I suspect you are acting like it’s a true partnership and he’s looking after his own interests first. I’d suggest saving as much as you can and potentially looking at going full time or progressing your career, paying well into a pension etc.

I’d basically try and work more towards a % based position rather than thinking “we’re both all in, we just play to our strengths” while he’s lapping up all the childcare and housework you’re taking on but protecting his finances. Your time and wellbeing are an asset and you need to protect them as well as try and build savings. I’d also think about what is best for you in terms of housing, job etc through the new lens of 50:50. Maybe it works better for you to stay in a smaller house and for him to take on 50% home and childcare and you both work full time and pay 50/50 on all bills for example.

Love this thread, flip the genders and everyone is 100% behind ring fencing it, but as its a man doing it lots of posters arent happy.

Every woman I know who’s gone part-time after children (including me!) chose to though.

I think it’s fair that he pays more as she does more childcare. I’m sure if she suggested going full-time and paying half the bills, he wouldn’t protest at all.

He will need to pay tax on that, max gift in any financial year is £3000. Make sure he knows that or he will be in trouble with HMRC.

You're both low earners, it absolutely makes sense for him to protect his inheritance. As others have stated, it's only relevant if you split up. You get the benefit otherwise.

You will need a deed of trust document drawn up, but those are very simple to arrange.

He's hot contributing more at the moment they have a child and are married

She states that he is paying most of the mortgage and bills as he is full time - they are also not married

No, he won’t. It only become eligible for inheritance tax if the parents die within 7 years, and only if their estate is over the threshold. He won’t need to pay any tax on the gift now. Why do people post nonsense?

He is contributing more. He pays more of the bills and housing costs as she is part time, but she still has a 50% share of the house.

They are not married. He needs to protect his assets. He is already paying some of her 50% share and isn’t asking her to reduce her share. That’s fair. She is working less and doing childcare. It isn’t fair to also expect him to risk the money from his parents.

Completely fair in my opinion, and actually very sensible. I have done the same with mine and my partners house as I had more deposit to put it so have protected that.

I think it’s fair.
Due to inheritance and a financial gift, I was able to pay nearly 50% of our house outright. She was not able to contribute to the deposit (but we have a fair split of bills) I adore my partner, been together 7 years and entirely intend to spend the rest of my life with her and would marry her tomorrow if she didn’t have hang ups about marriage.

However, it’s a huge sum of money. Whilst I like to think that she would be fair if we ever were to split, past experiences have told me that people can change dramatically.

Whilst I’m entirely happy for her to benefit from that money whilst we are together, I don’t think she should get to benefit from my parent’s hard work and early death if we were to go our separate ways. I hope we never do but you just don’t know.

We have a deed of trust which legally ring fences my deposit. We would split any equity so she would still benefit from the situation as if I hadn’t had those funds, it’s likely we would still rent or live in a significantly smaller, lower value property.

Entirely fair and sensible of him. It's enabling you to upsize so be grateful!. Your choice to have a child unmarried, and accept the risks / downsides of doing so! He will need to organise a deed of trust, and you will own different % shares of the property.

My now husband owned a house when we met. He sold it and had a nice deposit for us to buy a house together. He has since inherited 40k which went on improving our next house. He has never mentioned it, but were we to split, I wouldn’t want that money. It is his.

They're not married and OP said he contributes more to the Mortgage/bills

Maybe. It was just an example. My personal experience is that a lot of the women who don't really want to go back to FT work weren't the most career focused individuals in the first place.

I feel like it's always framed from a middle class white perspective. Maybe because that's the most common feminist demographic. Some might mention the phrase 'white feminism' but I'm not that bold. 😂

Yeah, it's a gamble. Either you take ownership of your own life or you flip the coin. You might end up like some of the middle aged women I know who live very cushy lives and haven't worked a day in decades. Or you might end up on the dole in a council house with a druggie neighbour.

Are those who ended up in cushy lifestyles married or unmarried? The problem here potentially is OP isn't married.

Mainly married for sure. Although marriage was also much more common in decades past.