I’ve been married to my DH for 18 years. He is the higher earner and I went part-time when our son was born in 2011 - it worked for both of us. I have contributed a salary which equates to 20% of his every month for 18 years, even through maternity and last year through breast Ca and treatment. When we bought our house he wanted us to be “tenants in common” and he split the house 80% him to recognise his bigger deposit and 20% me. The house value has doubled in 18 years. He is 65 and I am 57. With his consent and encouragement we maxed out the ISA savings each. I have a good amount of money which is equal to his but he says his ISA is his inheritance. He has a final salary pension worth more than our house. I also have a pension but a small one. He also has shares and other savings. He has a son from a previous relationship which he rightly wants to protect in our Wills which we are trying to write. We also have a 14 year old son together. I received a big critical illness payout last year after my diagnosis and he always used to moan about paying the monthly payments for it. It’s was £56/month but I stuck to my guns as the policy had been mine since before I met him. He says that as it was paid from the joint account that he could say some of that payout is his.
Ive been the main child carer and household organiser and I’m careful with money as I never forget he earns more than me.
The sticking points are:
1: I feel I should have a bigger share in the house now and the maths suggests a 35/65 split taking into account its growth in value
2: He wants me to pay him back 50% of my ISA as he says it was taken from the joint account and as he earns more than me it’s his half! He says I’m stopping him leaving money to his son. He has way more available funds than me that could be left to his son so why does he also want half my ISA?
Any thoughts would be gratefully received.