AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my 5yo starting skiing?

[Comfortable8520]

I’d really appreciate some honest views as I’m quite torn on this.

I didn’t grow up in the UK, and where I’m from skiing wasn’t a social or normal activity at all. There wasn’t any sense that you might be missing out if you didn’t do it.

Because of that, I’ve always seen skiing as quite a risky sport. All of my friends who ski regularly have, at some point, broken something or had a fairly serious injury. So in my mind it feels like one of those things where, if you do it long enough, something will eventually happen.

Now my DC is 5, and I’m genuinely surprised by how many parents around us are already getting their children into skiing. Some started doing this every year, and I know school trips can become a thing later on too.

I feel really conflicted.

On one hand, I don’t feel comfortable actively encouraging a sport that I associate with a real risk of fractures over time. It feels like I’d be setting DC on a path that increases the chance of injury.

On the other hand, I don’t want DC to feel left out in the future if this is something many of their peers do and talk about.

So AIBU to feel like this and hesitate to get DC into skiing?

Would really appreciate hearing how others approached this.

Skiing for me is the best thing I do with my children. We have amazing family holidays.
It’s important to encourage your children to take risks in life. Not taking risks will massively restrict them.

You would be giving your child a gift op. Skiers taught young are confident and competent. It’s a real family holiday and now our kids are adults, we take them with their partners, making memories every year. It’s an incredible, magical holiday. Life’s for the living!

So much easier to learn as a child! I learn at 30, I'm afraid of falling, other skiers, all snowboarders (🤣) and everything. Kids learnt from 3-4 and are brilliant. So comfortable, and touch wood none of us injured. Apart from the bank balance.

Why skiing specifically though? By definition, unless you live somewhere like Scotland, it’s not something you can do very often anyway so why is it a ‘gift’?

You don’t have to live in Scotland to ski. We’ve been to Austria and France this season. It’s a gift because you’re teaching the child a skill that will enable them to enjoy an exhilarating sport with family and friends.

That’s the point, unless you live in Scotland, it’s not something most ordinary people can do regularly

And is it more exciting than hobbies that people can do every weekend for example? I’m only asking because of the use of the word ‘gift’.

Yes I would say it is more exciting and again, a gift in the way of lessons leading to an enjoyable sport.

There are a lot of enjoyable sports (apparently 🤣) that don’t require jetting off round the world. I would think the word ‘gift’ would be more appropriate for things like ‘teaching your children to read is a gift’ rather than some elitist sport that you can only do once a year unless you are rich or live near the slopes.

I have never met a single person who skis so I’m curious as to why it’s a gift rather than just useful if you like that kind of thing.

Wasn't my comment, but I think I love skiing more than just about anything else in the world. I can't sleep sometimes because I'm so excited about the next day's skiing. I don't feel close to this about anything else (in fact, I'm quite a cynical person). I'm so glad I learnt as a child because it brings me massive, massive amounts of joy. It is expensive, but no more so than what many of my friends spend on their own hobbies, be that cars or mountain bikes or whatever.

Fair enough. I can’t see the point of doing a hobby that you apparently love so much but you can only do on holiday. Throwing yourself down a mountain seems a bit pointless but everyone’s different!

But then I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go on holiday and I don’t come from the sort of background where people ski

Nope in Britain the only people who tell others about their children learning to ski are w*nkers. It’s a humble brag signalling their wealth.

It is possible to learn to ski without an expensive foreign trip, as the people of Milton Keynes will tell you. That’s not what they mean though is it.

Don’t get involved. Ironically the only places you can ski on natural slopes in the UK would have no time for this middle-class BS.

As someone who did a couple of seasons working chalets in Courchevel how it usually works is that the kids are handed over to whoever is being paid to look after them that day. That may involve skiing, who knows, the parents certainly don’t. Then the adults go down one run that’s probably a bit beyond their ability and ‘dine out’ on the near-death tale for the rest of the day over drinks until a black run/off piste w*nker appears to regale all with unlikely stories of daring and seeing the biggest [insert noun here] of all time. At some point the kids are handed back to the parents, they all stumble to bed and it happens the same again the next day. Very little skiing is done.

I can’t say too much but in another resort a rare lovely family who actually took their kids out with them to ski had an accident where one of the children died. Frankly it put me off the whole thing. Don’t feel guilty for being reluctant.

Thank you - I was beginning to feel like a weirdo 😬

It’s a gift like any other non-compulsory, fun thing you can do - sports, a love of music or playing an instrument, drawing, tinkering with cars and fixing and making things. Someone has taught or encouraged me with all of these and I very much view it as a gift.

Skiing the English way (fly out for an annual week in a mega resort with 100s of km of pistes and stay in a posh hotel or naice chalet) does tend to be very expensive but it doesn’t have to be, certainly not more than a very average self catering summer holiday, at least once ski school is done with. I can do one adult and two teens for about £1.5k including absolutely everything bar the Lidl shop. Secret is to pick small family resorts with no jnternational profile and cheap lift passes nearby to mega resorts for the odd excursion, pick resorts that give free or discounted lift passes to kids (Italy, where kids are king) and drive or book flights as soon as they are released (and not at feb half term) - Easter is good.

As others have also said lots in Scotland just do it as a normal leisure activity. The same is true of lots of people in the EU, school kids living in snowy areas do it as PE, weekly in some cases.

It makes sense for people in a ski area

But outside of that it is clearly a pastime for people who have a lot of money to spaff on it - your average family doesn’t do it. (Average outside of MN anyway)

Anything comes with its risks. Both my children started skiing at 4 and 4 years later, absolutely love it and we’ve had some amazing family holidays in the mountains. Start them young, 5 is the perfect age!

Everyone is saying what injuries they have - I too am a skier and I started later in life (21). I’ve had injuries - was medi-vac’d off the mountain with a ruptured ACL and torn meniscus. I did this whilst stood still on a flat, slipped and went down at a very bad angle. My DH has skied since secondary. He’s had broken ribs and also broken ankle he’s had pinned in 3 places. These were in a ski resort but not skiing. The broken rib was from sledging as an extra curricular activity and the ankle from falling downhill walking back from dinner. The irony there is I said NOT to ski as it would be safer to walk in the dark. I should have let him ski the nursery slope. All those injuries are from doing ‘normal’ things.

Why do people ski? Why do people go back even after an injury? Because it’s the
most incredible and freeing thing to do. I
feel total peace when I ski. It’s one of the most socially enjoyable sports as a family imho. Kids can do lots of sports - usually with parents on the sidelines. This they can do together for years and years to come. Statistically is it more
dangerous? Sure. However if they start super young, they become much more proficient much early on. With skill comes safety. The most unsafe on the mountain are the older ones, we develop a fear factor as we age. Learning becomes less natural than little kids. People also don’t stay in ski school long enough, so stop learning and pootle around as they want to be with their friends who do ski. In my mind learning younger is something I wish I had been fortunate enough to do at a younger age. I would be a better skier and thus safer on more difficult terrain.

If your daughter is the sort to gravitate to more ‘extreme’ stuff and you’re someone with high anxiety, getting her lessons now will ease your anxiety as she does it as she gets older. You will at least know when she goes off with school/friends, she competent to do so too. My nephew (13) just went with school. Normal comprehensive, not a fee paying school. They hasn’t been as a family for years so sister made him do a refresher at the snow dome for her own peace of mind that he could control his speed and stop etc. The super dangerous ones are teenage school groups who all want to show off to their mates. They go way too fast out of control and don’t look up piste etc. if your daughter can ski, she will naturally be assessing those risks.

My own son started at 5. British, state school. He loves it! Never had an injury. Does ski school.

He will holiday with me forever because he won’t be able to afford to go on his own! Haha. Stupid money but also some of the best I’ve spent!

As an aside you seem quite risk adverse/anxious. Don’t let your fear become your child’s as they’ll carry that into other parts of their lives naturally too.

YABU. Skied for over 30 years and never broken or torn anything. A few bumps and bruises, but nothing your average 5yo can't handle.

On the other hand, physical inactivity and obesity are one of the leading causes of death and disability.

Bullshit. My DS1 broke his leg in his first (and only) week skiing, aged 7. He was with me, we were on a green slope he had done several times before, he wasn't messing around, he just got unlucky with a fall. It is true most kids won't get injured, but don't pretend it never happens.

It isn’t unreasonable to be mindful of the risks of skiing - I feel the same about horse riding. That said, it is so much better to learn to ski as a child than as an adult - you can always tell the skiers who started young and I personally think they are much safer (unless they get into doing acrobatics, then the risk level goes up again!) If your child enjoys skiing then you’ve given them an amazing gift for life by giving them lessons as a child. It is a very special experience being in the mountains, and all the more so when you know how to ski down them safely. I’m pro-skiing, but don’t think you’re unreasonable to consider safety - you’re their mama after all 🩷

I think this thread has turned quite unpleasant when people are just sharing their experiences of something they love. Certainly there are wealthy people who ski but there are also plenty of people like my family who pack sandwiches for lunch and choose skiing over a summer holiday. I'm a teacher, on about £40k and my husband earns similar. For many years we earned less than that. We're really not rolling in it, and most people we ski with have similar jobs like midwives and social workers. They're not wealthy, they're just people who are generally outdoorsy - also into walking, biking etc. As for the idea hardly any skiing occurs, that's laughable to all of us who are on the first and last lifts of the day.

So it’s because you find it elitist that you find it a problem. It’s not unusual to go to France, it’s our neighbouring country, hardly ‘around the world’. Teaching a child to read is definitely a gift and obviously a more important one. That doesn’t mean teaching a child another skill they will enjoy throughout their life isn’t. It isn’t just about the skiing, it’s about the incredible mountain restaurants that can only be accessed by skiers, sitting on a deckchair after a challenging run with a mulled wine, having fun with the people you love.

Goodness not my experience at all, and I have been a child learning to ski, a parent taking their child skiing and a season worker.

Kids don’t just get handed over at dawn and back at dusk. Mine for example are in lessons 9-12 and with me the rest of the time.

Maybe this is a Courchevel specific experience as Courchevel is frankly known for more money than sense.

I don’t find it a ‘problem’ at all. I just found it an interesting word to use.

Ski people are clearly very passionate about it and I just can’t imagine being so into something that it’s a gift to learn it but only being able to do it once or twice a year and having to go abroad to do it!

I am currently based in an area with a lot of middle class families. There are wealthy families around but none of my friends are from a background of privilege and family wealth. My friends are self-made, working crazy hours often including weekends. They don't splurge money and if they ski it's only for a limited number of days a year and in not crazy expensive places. I don't think they are bragging about it but rather seeing it as an enjoyable rare treat and investment in DCS future and fitting in.