Neighbours kids keep looking over our fence

[lilybit2025]

As the title suggests. Young girl around 5-6 keeps looking over at our fence. Did it a handful of times yesterday until I turned around and said 'hello can I help you?' And she's doing it again today. It sets our dog off and drives her insane yet she still does it.
I find it incredibly intrusive and I don't know if our neighbours know she's doing it and she's only a child but we do not have children and aren't particularly fond of them either.

That reads like a euphemism for "grow a pair" but I don't think you meant it that way

Implying the op doesn’t walk her dog to detract from the neighbours not parenting their child. Only MN.

Could an adult standing in the next garden see over the fence? If so, if the girl is just standing on a table and not leaning over the fence/banging on it/calling to the dog, I can't see how you've got a (table) leg to stand on. People have a right to stand anywhere and face any direction they like in their own garden. The only solution would be to erect a taller fence.

Jesus, people saying to spray the 5 year old with a hose. Be a big girl - you know, an adult - and do as other posters have said and go talk to her parents. Nicely. They are your neighbors. You’re being unreasonable to expect a five year old not to look over your fence, probably at your dog. Even if you are the neighborhood, kid hating grouch.

People talking about “boundaries” - do you own the airspace? Be an adult, talk to the parents, introduce the child to the dog, use some charm. Like the poster who suggested an Easter egg and got chastised
for “bribing” was suggesting. And if the kid keeps peeking over the fence, ignore her and take the dog inside and she will learn you are boring and lose interest.

Here’s a tip - it doesn’t help your position to say “I don’t like children”. Children are people - what other group of people are you comfortable saying you dislike? Talk about rude.

She’s only 5 or 6, which is still very young to really understand boundaries like privacy—especially if she’s just peeking over the fence. It might simply be that she’s curious or enjoys watching your dog; young children are often naturally drawn to pets, particularly if they don’t have one of their own.
It does seem quite harmless, and she’ll likely lose interest or get distracted by something else soon. Personally, something like this from such a young child wouldn’t bother me.
That said, if it’s making you or your dog uncomfortable, it’s absolutely reasonable to address it. You could have a polite word with the parent—perhaps frame it from a safety perspective—and they could consider moving the table away from the fence as a simple solution.

Set up a water sprinkler pointing at the fence so she gets soaked when she peers over.

Does you dog bark at other times?
Like every time someone comes to the door
How often a day do you walk your dog or it just parked in the garden.
I’m not sure what any of this has to do with the issue with the child? 🤷🏼‍♀️

And why should the OP introduce the child to her dog, doesn’t matter what the child wants, she doesn’t have a right to play with a dog, should the OP then have a responsibility to watch the child whilst she plays with the dog?

A dog will bark at someone peering over a fence whether they know them or not, whether that be a guarded bark or excitement.
The issue isn’t with the dog, it’s with the child who peers over the fence. It isn’t up to the OP to engage or entertain her neighbours child.

And this isn’t anything to do with anyone being uptight, this is down to rubbish parenting.

Ignore her. Read a book, listen to your radio very low or garden. For a week or so sit with your back to her and train your dog not to response. If nobody is looking or remarking about her she will get bored and she will see no interest in trying to get a response.

Im quite sure that’s the case. I didn’t expect people to like my child when she was young and really couldn’t have cared less whether they did or not.

I’m sure the majority tend to dislike the behaviour of children rather than actual children. Some children can, sometimes, be annoying. Like this little girl is being when she looks over the fence and winds up the dog.

Do they have a dog? If not, presumably she is bored and wants to see yours. The fact that it gets excited and barks at her gives her attention. It's probably the only attention she's getting. Unfortunately, telling her that seeing her gets your dog excited is only going to encourage her.

It isn't what you want to do, but as a temporary measure could you add a couple of foot to the height of your fence? You could probably take it down in a few months when she gets bored and finds a new way to occupy herself while her parents ignore her.

You need to train your dog.. that's another way of looking at it. FGS the girl is 5, she probably won't do it much longer as she gets a little older and more self aware.

AHH the sun is shining and yet here we are with another child hating thread!!

No one should attempt to train their dog to stop being alarmed at strangers appearing over their fence.

The OP is being expected to bend over backwards because the kid’s parents can’t teach her some manners? I find that astonishing.

Is it though? Let’s say the mother of a teenager who has got into drugs, or crime, or has been sexually assaulted, or is pregnant, posts at her wits’ end, no idea what to do next. Would she turn down advice from someone who has been through the same thing themselves as a teenager, just because they chose not to have children as an adult? Would the advice of the parent of a toddler who’s never dealt with anything remotely similar be somehow more valuable because “She’s a mother, so she understands”?

You need to train your dog.. that's another way of looking at it.

Not a very good way of looking at it. But yes, definitely another way.

What if there was a child behaviourist expert that piped up with helpful information, to aid the poster who was struggling but didn't have own children?
Would you ignore such information purely because they were childless and in a parenting topic?

If asking the child/parents politely doesn't work, you could try telling her a massive spider lives on that fence.

My kids are playing in the garden this evening for the first time this spring and we've found so many spiders in their sand pit/toys and they're freaking out about it, hence my inspired suggestion!

If spiders don't scare her, try wasps?!

The peering over the fence should be ignored, she will get bored eventually, but setting off the dogs is not on.

If you see her again from upstairs, I think I'd video her, especially if she's barking to set the dog off. You could then show that to her parents. You'd also have it as evidence if anyone complains about your dog barking.

That's horrible. Little girl is 5.

Get a big hose and water your garden ! Would be a shame if you accidentally soaked her! She knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s enjoying winding you up.

Jesus, people saying to spray the 5 year old with a hose. Be a big girl - you know, an adult - and do as other posters have said and go talk to her parents.

OP already tried that.

I've just gone round to the parents and asked them to stop her looking over. They of course have said she isn't doing that.

It is hose time 😂

Do you have a sprinkler ?

I wanted to suggest that but thought I’d better not! 😂