To be really uncomfortable about this?

[Littlebitpsycho]

More than happy to be told I am being unreasonable here, but I find it weird and inappropriate.

DD is on holiday abroad with her dad. No issue with this, we co-parent well and have done for many years.

DD facetimed me earlier to show me their hotel room and it transpires that the hotel made a mistake - meaning there is only one bed in the room, and they have to share for the week.

AIBU to think that this is really inappropriate and Dad should either kick up a stink until they change rooms, or he asks for another mattress/air bed and sleeps on the floor?

DD is teenage if that helps, and says she isn't bothered (but he was listening to the call)

YABU - why are you being weird about this, it's fine
YANBU - it's weird and he should sleep on the floor/change rooms

PS - have not brought this up with her dad yet, wanted some unbiased opinions first

What's making you uncomfortable?

He's her Dad and he is obviously one of the good ones because she feels safe with him and sees it as nothing more than an inconvenience, but they both need their privacy. The hotel should be sorting this asap and he should be kicking up a huge fuss if they prove reluctant to do so.

I don't even really know, I just feel like it's a bit inappropriate to share a bed at that age? But I am happy to be told I'm wrong

I completely agree. Its weird

Surely it's only inappropriate if both of them are unhappy about it?

If DD isn’t bothered, why are you?

I’m a big believer in listening to your gut.
I don’t think you should be swayed by what people on here think. Get onto him and ask him why he’s brought her on holiday and she doesn’t even have her own bed.

Are you saying DD’s dad engineered the ‘mistake’?

Surely most places can change a double to twin beds quite easily i hate sharing a bed with any of my kids their all kickers

Yanbu. It's inappropriate

Nah I’d say it’s weird. I doubt many teenage girls would choose to share a bed with their dad!

Stranger and more awful things happen everyday.

I dont believe its been engineered. I do however think he should able to see that its inappropriate given her age and he should be trying to do something about it, either by switching rooms or by sleeping on the floor

It's totally I appropriate. You need to get it sorted

How about you suggest that her dad nips to the bar for a drink whilst she showers or gets into bed etc. or if there’s a balcony he could go there or vice versa, whilst he gets ready. I’d be more uncomfortable about privacy than about the bed.

No. I’m saying that if he brings her on holiday, it’s fairly basic that she should have her own bed to sleep in and I would also wonder why he isn’t kicking up a bigger fuss about it.
I think it’s more likely that there is nothing sinister or inappropriate going on, but the OP actually knows the guy. None of us do. And when it comes to your kids, I think you should listen to your instincts. If it doesn’t sit right with her, she shouldn’t just ignore it.

@Littlebitpsycho is she a teen 13 or teen 16 etc?

I don't see th problem really - I've shared a bed with my Dad at 20 because there was a cock up in the hotel booking. Didn't phase me in the slightest.

@Himmableabodeshe is 14

The DD here is also her father’s kid, and presumably his instincts also count?

@Littlebitpsycho i am not sure if I would feel uncomfortable as her parent as I don’t have a teen yet but I know at 14 there’s absolutely no way I would have wanted to share a bed with my dad (and I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 20 so I was perhaps emotionally quite a ‘young’ 14)

He’s not on here asking.
Whats your point?

@Littlebitpsycho i would add though that if it’s just something that happened in error which it seems to be, that maybe they just had to go with it and it was actually ok? If you trust him then I wouldn’t worry xx

I once had to share a bed with my dad on holiday when I was 16. It was the continental arrangement of two separate mattresses pushed together with separate bedding, but still far closer than either of us would've chosen. It was just something we had to do because the hotel couldn't do anything to help. My dad felt far worse about it than I did.

Dad sat on the balcony or would nip out when I was showering and changing and vice versa. I'm pretty sure your daughter and her dad will already have worked out the practicalities of making the best of a less than ideal situation.

It’s not about instincts - OP is disappointed he isn’t thinking of DD & her own needs for space - she’s a teen & is of the opposite sex & has a right to privacy. Yes he’s her Dad so it’s not like it’s a stranger but she’s no longer a child & he should be treating her that way - by asking for her own room. Per the arrangement. It’s not difficult. I think it’s more thoughtlessness on his part & I’d find that frustrating too - than OP believing he’s got sinister motives.