To be really uncomfortable about this?

[Littlebitpsycho]

More than happy to be told I am being unreasonable here, but I find it weird and inappropriate.

DD is on holiday abroad with her dad. No issue with this, we co-parent well and have done for many years.

DD facetimed me earlier to show me their hotel room and it transpires that the hotel made a mistake - meaning there is only one bed in the room, and they have to share for the week.

AIBU to think that this is really inappropriate and Dad should either kick up a stink until they change rooms, or he asks for another mattress/air bed and sleeps on the floor?

DD is teenage if that helps, and says she isn't bothered (but he was listening to the call)

YABU - why are you being weird about this, it's fine
YANBU - it's weird and he should sleep on the floor/change rooms

PS - have not brought this up with her dad yet, wanted some unbiased opinions first

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Teenagers need privacy. They also need to be really clear they can say no to anything, and not just put up with something uncomfortable- which is what girls and women are often conditioned into. If I was the adult - even with my DD - I would have asked for a camp bed.

So agree with this. 👆

None of my DC would want to share a bed with me or DH but I don’t think they’d be bothered if they had to and certainly it wouldn’t be labelled “inappropriate” just less than ideal.

Oh dear we recently went on holiday and DD 11 shared with her dad and DS 13 shared with me, 2 double beds all in one room. Not sure what about it was inappropriate, both kids still love sharing and chose who they wanted to share with

That’s a completely different situation so nobody has said it was inappropriate.

Is it that different though?

teen of opposite sex sharing with parent?

I think what hard is she doesn’t really have a choice, she says she doesn’t mind, but we can’t really know how she feels as she’s obvs wants to make the best of a bad situation. It’s more that dad should Realise she needs her own space and only shares bed for the min amount of time needed. (So a night or two of hotel are struggling to sort it out)

I’ve shared a bed with my dad before, I was in my 20s and I’d booked us a twin, turned out to be a double so had to share but in this situ I was an adult with my own money and it was my fuckup. either of us could have said we wanted to go elsewhere or been the one to push The hotel.

I

No I completely agree. It wouldn’t bother me if I had a son but it being your daughter who, as a teen, presumably has begun puberty, sharing a bed with any male, is inappropriate. Especially given what involuntarily happens to most men when they wake up. All a bit icky isn’t it?

Yes, because both parents were there in your case. If OP was there, she wouldn’t have any reason to ask.

Both of us also do it without the other there and have no concerns or worries about it

Unless df sleeps naked it’s such a non issue. My 14yo twins still occasionally come in the middle of our bed for cuddles when their df is also here. Dh does get out of bed when dd1 comes in but she’s 18 and 5’8” tall so it’s a space thing (she’s not been in often but one night after our family dog died). You either trust him or you don’t.

Read the op it clearly states there was a mistake at the hotel don’t try to create an issue or suggest something that is not true.

Might this be down to the involuntary morning erection? Daughters shouldn't be aware of this. He should sleep elsewhere.

It also says she’s wondering if he’s actually doing anything to push them to rectify the situation and get what he booked. That’s what I was referring to. Maybe read the OP yourself before accusing me of trying to create an issue. Why would I want to do that anyway? What possible motivation could I have? I don’t know the OP or her family. She asked a question and I gave my opinion. That’s how this works.

Good for you. The OP had concerns though.

I’ve shared a room with my Dad as a 40 something when we went away for a family wedding but not a bed! And it was only one night.

I don’t think there’s anything too weird about it but it’s not ok for a whole week. The dad should be sorting something out. There’s no way a hotel won’t change this even if it takes a day or two.

I’ve shared a bed with my DS at 14 when he was really sick and I wanted to keep an eye on him. He would refuse this now at 16. There’s quite a big difference between 14 and 16 I think.

DD is also 16 (twins) and I insisted on sleeping with her a couple of weeks ago during all the news about meningitis as she had a fever and a rash! But she was fine and neither of us slept a wink so she says we will not be doing that again! Oh the irony given she co slept with us from the day she was born until age 7 😂

No need to be rude - if the OP has concerns they shouldn’t really be holidaying together should they? Or are predators only an issue in the same bed, same room is absolutely fine?

If he’s a decent ordinary dad, there is not issue. I shared a bed with my ds last year on holiday. He was 19 at the time. The bed was in the room, we just didn’t give a shit.

If the situation were reversed, and it was a Mum sharing with her son, would anybody have similar views? As long as they have the privacy to get changed, etc, what’s the issue?
As a parent - male or female, I can’t imagine how awful if would feel to be deemed to be weird (or worse) for sharing with your son or daughter - your child.
People need to stop adding unhealthy aspects to these situations; if the daughter is comfortable and the Dad has never given any cause for concern, leave it be.

I would not have liked to share a bed with my dad at 13 or over. Or my mum, for that matter. I was quite womanly at 13, not sure if that makes a difference. Not a little girl, anyway, and full of hormones, crushes etc. It's not appropriate. I do know 13 year olds who look and act like younger kids though, so maybe it's a grey area.

I shared beds with my dad all the time on holiday, because my sister and I sucked at sharing beds. I see no issue.

Maybe read the post. The hotel messed up. They reserved a double room, got put in a single. Its Easter holidays, hotels are packed.

I remember having to share a bed for one night with my dad as a teen when there was no other choice. It was fine. But I would have expected him to have asked for a spare bed, hotels usually have them for kids who are sharing a room.

My DD 16 and I often share a bed if we go away, first time we did have two doubles but chose to share. I don’t think my DH is bothered by that. We aren’t and we are the important ones.

It is odd. Would you say he’s one who doesn’t like to complain perhaps?