To be really uncomfortable about this?

[Littlebitpsycho]

More than happy to be told I am being unreasonable here, but I find it weird and inappropriate.

DD is on holiday abroad with her dad. No issue with this, we co-parent well and have done for many years.

DD facetimed me earlier to show me their hotel room and it transpires that the hotel made a mistake - meaning there is only one bed in the room, and they have to share for the week.

AIBU to think that this is really inappropriate and Dad should either kick up a stink until they change rooms, or he asks for another mattress/air bed and sleeps on the floor?

DD is teenage if that helps, and says she isn't bothered (but he was listening to the call)

YABU - why are you being weird about this, it's fine
YANBU - it's weird and he should sleep on the floor/change rooms

PS - have not brought this up with her dad yet, wanted some unbiased opinions first

Not sure why it is inappropriate. I shared a bed with my dad during various trips, when there was no other option. What's exactly the concern?

The hotel made a mistake and should fix it. He should be insisting on what was booked.

I don’t necessarily think them sharing a bed is of itself a concern, but it might complicate your DD’s understanding of appropriate boundaries with other people. As a responsible parent he ought to be sensitive to that possibility.

Nobody would be questioning this if it was a mother TBH...

There is good reason for this.

I wouldn’t share with my teenage son as I’d want him to have his privacy and be concerned about him feeling uncomfortable even if he wasn’t outwardly saying that he was.

The night before my dad's funeral we had a house full of people who had travelled to attend the funeral ( think air mattresses in every available room ) my 14 year old ds gave up his bed for his 17 year old female cousin. My son slept in beside me for one night. I really don't see the issue

Weird. And I'm super close to my dad.

I had this once when travelling with my dd who was I think 15 at the time.

it was supposed to be a twin room but they only had a double. We got extra pillows and a quilt from reception and had pillows down the middle and each had our own quilt.

I’m female btw.

I think it's not inappropriate, per se, if he is a normal human being, but definitely not ideal. Especially if they don't live together all the time and therefore have that generally more relaxed familiarity.

I would share with my lads until approx eleven or twelve, and I would share with my daughters indefinitely if it makes a holiday cheaper, but they are fully ok with it and I am female.

I wouldn’t give this a second thought, both my DDs (14 and 16) would happily share with DH in that situation. Although the 16 year old would complain about not having her own room, but that applies if she has to share with her sister or anyone else!

I’d have no particular problem with parent and child sharing a room but surely the most obvious difficulty about a father and daughter sharing a bed is the possibility of encountering an erection while asleep, however much unintended. Daughter is hardly likely to voice this concern or even consider it. Dad should do his best to get a mattress or another bed.

Yabu. It's not ideal but I'd stay out of it, interfering ex is not good.

If it’s the hotel’s mistake then they should be correcting it and finding another room.

Dad should pay for another room if it was his mistake

If you had any worry that her dad would be a danger to your dd, and couldn’t sleep next to her without something inappropriate happening, then you shouldn’t have let her go. But I’m guessing you’ve never had any reason to doubt that he would ever hurt her? So why you’re worrying now is unreasonable

My adult son and I would be able to sleep next to each other in a double bed without it being a big deal. If we were to go away for a city break together, I wouldn't want to pay for two rooms; I would ideally book a twin room, rather than a double (as I would with a daughter), but would cope if that's what we got. We would use the bathroom for changing etc.

Unless you think the ex is a paedophile I don't see the problem. And a teenage girl at least can say if anything inappropriate happened a younger child might not.

I had to share with my teenage DD when there wasn't a twin room only a double. It was fine, we both kept to our own sides and you actually only get into bed when you are intending to sleep!

Agree he should be sorting a different arrangement pronto. Doesnt sound sinister, just stupid.

Main thing is that she's not bothered. I've got a 14yo ds and I don't think it would be inappropriate to sleep in same bed as him if situation forced it but we'd be uncomfortable as he's a sprawler so I would try and change.
Ime men are alow to kick up or insist etc in that type of scenario. It's fine, type thing.

I think my DDs would refuse to be fair and DH would come up with something like pillows down the middle until the hotel could give them a different room

I personally don't think its appropriate for an adolescent to have to share a bed with an adult of the opposite sex, family member or not.

It just isn't decent, and he should make alternative arrangements.

Agree, it’s surprising others can’t see why it’s inappropriate.

It might be that there are other reasons for your spidey sense going is, but surely hanging out on/in a large bed together watching a film would be pretty unobjectionable?

As for the situation here, if the teenage girl was genuinely ok with it, then I have no issues, same as with a mum and teenage boy.

I’m with you. If the OPs dd is ok with it, it’s fine. I just think it would be good to talk to the girl separately to make sure.

In my situation, I had a difficult relationship with my dad. I didn’t trust him and didn’t want to be that close to him. It’s a completely different situation, but before I said no that time, I would have sworn I was fine with it and just done it to keep the peace. I think there’s no harm in double checking with her in a private conversation.

Meh, I don't think it's an issue

He’s her dad!