How would you deal with a jealous ‘D’SIL

[Easter266]

As above - today has been the final straw. A few past comments, but it was obvious she was making digs over lunch at my DNIL’s.

I have two DC with DH (her brother). They had Easter boxes - fairly tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on Insta today. ‘D’SIL didn’t like my post, and I know she saw my story as she referenced the Easter egg hunt.

Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything.

Ive told DH that next time she makes a comment, I will not be so restrained.

DH says I need to keep quiet for his sake and to not make things awkward.

IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?

I can see that this would be annoying, but if she is that petty, I think she would probably like nothing more than to get a rise out of you. It would probably be in your best interests to be supremely unbothered/unaware of what she is getting at - don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she has bothered you.

Tame compared to insta...
Your SIL probably has different values to you. Perhaps she thinks you are spoiling your children or bringing them up to compare themselves to others on "insta", and is aware the impact this may have on their mental health when they are a bit older. Perhaps she has more sense than you and you should listen to her.

I’ve never heard of an Easter box, what was in it?

People that hint can be ignored or laughed off. Don't give her the satisfaction.

Having said that, Easter boxes are a bit unnecessary but that's just my view and I'm sure it won't change your behaviour. We are all in the thrall of late capitalism one way or another.

Can you cut back on extended family events? So just your kids, you and DH?

And can you post but make it invisible to her? I don’t know how instagram works really.

Why would it be jealously? Why does she have to like your post? Maybe she just didn’t agree with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think she is trying to get a rise out of you and she will be much more annoyed if you answer with something like “they are such wonderful kids, they just deserve the best” or “i just love seeing them so happy!”
That way your DH cant complain either because you didnt start an argument.

She didn’t ‘like’ the photo you posted? So, you’re basically uploading photos to SM for likes. It’s very shallow and I would feel the same as your sil.

Just block her on Instagram!

Different values. Not better

What do you suggest your dh says to her?
please like my wife’s posts?
please don’t make negative comments?
why create all this drama? Be an adult and ignore.

Imo likely better. You are free to disagree. The OP has clearly decided that anyone who thinks performing easter for Instagram is unhealthy for kids is just jealous. I am very not jealous of people who do this, but I do think they are teaching their kids to value the wrong things in life.

Get rid of instagram…waste of time!

You think she's jealous because she didn't like a picture you posted on social media...

What are Easter ‘boxes’? Were they full of unnecessary Chinese tat and masses of UHP and sugar? If so I’m team SIL. Model to your children about simple and environmentally sustainable treats. Less is more.

I would have less of an issue with 'Easter Boxes' and 'Christmas Eve boxes' and shite like this if people did it and then did not post a photo of it on SM.

If you are doing it to make your kids happy why does it need to be photographed and posted for other people to see what you have done? The only reason imo to post this stuff is for 'likes' or for people to comment. If you are genuinely doing something fun for the kids why the need to display it to the world?

Family riffs are awful so I would avoid as best as you can by distancing yourself from her. As you are relative by marriage, don't expect to come off very well if you do speak your mind no matter how 'right' you are.
Blood relatives have a knack of standing united and you will be phased out......

What is an Easter box?

Its just plain rude to make comments like that but there's no point saying anything. You already know how that will end.

Just restrict what she can see on your social media and let her crack on with whatever the hell her problem is.

It does not matter whether someone would or would not do what you do. Its rude to make snide comments.

YABU, purely for doing Easter Boxes. When will madness all for the ‘gram madness end.

Just be amused by her and her passive aggressive antics. I'm sure she'd love to know she got under your skin so don't give her the satisfaction.

You could make some light hearted jokes about people being such fun sponges these days.

She thinks ott “boxes” with the accompanying photo and begging for “likes” is dickish.
You think she is a dick for not “liking” your (in her opinion “showing off” and v likely in her opinion cringe) post.
I get that you think she’s jealous but she probably isn’t - she just thinks you are a dick.
It’s just a huge clash of values which you both would be broadly unaware of if it wasn’t for your “story”. You like your boxes, your photos, your stories - crack on, but in the interest of brotherly love, block her, and just have a normal, low-key relationship when you have to see each other. Don’t fuck up the relationship between 2 brothers over instrgram likes. It’s ok to enjoy and value different things from each other. She’s rude to dig at you, but don’t show her the pictures and the whole thing simmers down. You have kids young enough to do an Easter Egg hunt and not forbid you to put it online then you have decades of interactions to get through yet - don’t look for fights.

"IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?"

For your own peace of mind and the sake of family harmony, @Easter266 let it go.

What you did for your children was lovely, you will not be the only person to notice her attitude.

She doesn't sound like a happy bunny (easter) 😉😆

What the fuck is an Easter box.

You really sound ridiculous and are probably a bit of a laughing stock. Don’t make it any worse.