How would you deal with a jealous ‘D’SIL

[Easter266]

As above - today has been the final straw. A few past comments, but it was obvious she was making digs over lunch at my DNIL’s.

I have two DC with DH (her brother). They had Easter boxes - fairly tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on Insta today. ‘D’SIL didn’t like my post, and I know she saw my story as she referenced the Easter egg hunt.

Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything.

Ive told DH that next time she makes a comment, I will not be so restrained.

DH says I need to keep quiet for his sake and to not make things awkward.

IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?

Your SIL is allowed to disagree with your parenting style. You are allowed to dislike her expressing her opinions. You are even allowed to dislike each other.

if you rise to her digs it will cause an argument and it won't change anytthing for the better so I agree with your DH - just ignore her. Rise above it, not just for his sake but for the sake of your in-laws and your children. Show your children that disagreeing with another person needn't cause conflict.

"Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything."

Have to say, I wouldn't do that. As much as I am cynical and sour, I do recognise that others may do as they please. I don't set the bar. I might not 'like' your Easter box post but I wouldn't be the prick that wants to put you down either.

One memorable Xmas together when their kids were teens and our 2 were around 8 the teens had so many presents they didn’t even open them all. They literally had new laptops each a new game console each, new games to go with them, clothes, jewelry, new trainers etc and just went ‘oh this is my Xbox? And put it to the side still wrapped’.
Me and DP swore we would never do this with our kids - so much stuff that they didn’t even open or play with or set up the new things they’d been given. Our kids main present that year was the trip to the US to see said cousins so they got littler things and were fine about it.

Yes this - simple.

@Easter266 Don’t drag your DH into this. It’s too minor to bring someone else into it and it won’t end well (for you, most likely) if you force your DH to pick a side.

Handle it yourself. Restrict Insta access and ignore digs.

OP, DO NOG start drama over this! It’s not worth it. You’re being sensitive and she’s trying to get a rise out of you.
I suspect DIL and DBIL know I think their kids are spoiled and that I don’t agree with a lot of how they parent but the have no evidence! I keep my opinions to myself - and my face on neutral!

I strongly suspect the op and her sil dislike each other intently and the op is itching to have a go and cause some drama.

It doesn't sound like she's jealous from the original post. Jealous of what?

I agree it's not jealousy. It's more likely just sneering, which is just nasty.

Honestly, if you are making easter boxes and posting them in social media expecting your whole family you like them or you get upset.. I would suggest you are the one with the problem!

I think you are getting a hard time op and I suspect it is the easter boxes as many do not like them.

Rather than soeaking out or dh saying something I would take a nonsense approach when she makes about easter boxes and showing off briskly state. "Well each to their own." Or " you do your way we will do ours" don't make it a thing but do make it clear you will comment if she comments. If she escalates pushing her agenda stick with. Like I said each to their own. We parent as we see fit and you can parent as you wish.

To add...the reason I don't 'like' posts about Easter boxes etc, is not to make a point, it's because it feels disingenuous and that's not me. I always assume the poster won't notice either way so I scroll on.

I wouldn't be so arrogant as to put someone down in person over it. It's nothing to do with me. Do whatever you want.
Your sil does sound a bit shitty tbh. There's no need for her to comment like that.

You entitled to make and post about Easter boxes, she's entitled to express her opinion. Don't give the fire oxygen by caring or turning into some big thing. Easter is meant to be a celebration not a battlefield. Be the mirror you want the world to reflect.

It isn't clear why you think she's jealous? It's that leap of logic that makes me think YABU, along with asking DH to talk to her so she clicks like on your posts.

It sounds like you have normalised Insta performance parenting to such an extent you assume it's normal and desirable for everyone, everyone will "like," it and nobody sees anything weird about it. It's not normal and you should see it as your particular taste or interest rather than universal. It's okay to have a hobby but it sounds like it's become the equivalent of someone taking up running and expecting praise for every tiny metric, every hill they go up etc.

She shouldn't have criticised you, but for your sake I'd step away from Insta for a week or two and see if you feel a weight lifted.

D’SIL didn’t like my post

I genuinely read this as "SIL didn't enjoy my post" rather than "SIL didn't click like on my post" because who the fuck cares whether she clicks like or not?

Imagine how much more peaceful life would be without social media.

Four pages and no additional information or feedback from the OP
Sorry but this has got to be a windup posted keyboard warrior for