How would you deal with a jealous ‘D’SIL

[Easter266]

As above - today has been the final straw. A few past comments, but it was obvious she was making digs over lunch at my DNIL’s.

I have two DC with DH (her brother). They had Easter boxes - fairly tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on Insta today. ‘D’SIL didn’t like my post, and I know she saw my story as she referenced the Easter egg hunt.

Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything.

Ive told DH that next time she makes a comment, I will not be so restrained.

DH says I need to keep quiet for his sake and to not make things awkward.

IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?

Are you a competitive person....be honest

Take step back and and breath .

This is small minded and nonsensical ,it will ruin the family atmosphere ...be the mature adult

How are you old enough to be married and have children? From your post you sound like you’re about 10.

@Rainbowdottie

"Neither of us can be bothered to be unkind, it’s like we both know we’re being childish"

So sad, what a waste 😔

THAT’S the final straw? That’s it?? A bitchy comment about Easter boxes? This is so trivial. Let it goooo! Let it gooo!

My SIL is also a twat, but for the sake of the family just don’t rise to it. I thought the final straw was going to be her flashing her tits and coming on to your grandad at the Easter Egg hunt, this is just a slight difference of opinion at a family gathering.

Jealous? Of what exactly? Does she have any kids? Maybe in future you just message photos of you indulging your ds to family members (excluding her since she is scornful).

Do you want your DH to tell his sister that she ought to like your Instagram posts? I think he's right to not make more drama at family events and if she's rude to you just stand up for yourself.

Easter box? What’s that all about ?
why would you want to cause an issue between your husband and his brother?
baffled - it’s a social media nonsense non event
you’re being a Wally

I miss the days of MN when you could just start a thread asking people to discuss something without having to mock up some scenario for it.

An Easter box contains a wooden cross (small replica), some bloodied nails, and a badge saying "Judas betrayed me".

And a Gourd, I think
’ follow the gourd’’

A) Easter boxes are silly and unnecessary
B) you put it on social media which invites opinion, if you don't want that, don't post it.

She didn't need to bring it up, I wouldn't have done, but I would have silently judged you for being performatively naff.

How morbid, is THAT what you gave your kids OP.

I'm torn op.. on one hand I totally empathise because its horrible when you know someone is making sly digs at your expense but you don't want to be seen to over react or they're doing it in a cute enough way that they could play it off if you react. It's infuriating.

But then equally I kind of think you're giving your power away by caring so much what she thinks. Because really that's what's happening here - she says something negative, you feel it on a personal level and it makes you feel judged and then you are bothered by that. But if you genuinely didn't care what she thought, you wouldn't be bothered. And what would happen then is you could calmly and respectfully agree to disagree with her. Eg. SIL: urgh Easter boxes are so ott who even does that. Your response could be to smile and say " ah Sharon we'll have to agree to disagree on that one, I think they're lovely to do for the kids but each to their own" change topic.

You know who she is and what she's like so just let her do her and nicely and politely hold your boundaries. If she's genuinely trying to get digs in then it's going to get very boring very fast for her if you genuinely don't give a shit what she thinks! And there's power in that. At no point does it need to be confrontational or awkward as long as you're consistent. My guess is its a bigger issue than it needs to be because you've been biting your tongue over so many little things it's built up. But nipping gently in the bud stops that from happening and you'll probably come away feeling better for it too.

It is completely. How different life would have been if we had got on. It’s very sad.

You’re as petty as one another and I’m not sure you’e not the worst. Who cares if she didn’t like your post it’s not mandatory and she’s allowed not to like Easter boxes, get over yourself.

😅🤣🤣🤣

Then she wasn't impressed by your Easter boxes, whatever they are. And so what?

Personally I hate the lavish show-offery that Easter and other occasions have become. I don't enthuse about it either.

You want praise for being a consumer. Sorry to be blunt.

I don’t think she is jealous. There is too quick an assumption made that if someone is critical it is because they are jealous. It sounds like she thinks Easter boxes and Instagram sharing of them is stupid. I’m afraid I do too, and I suspect many would agree.

I wouldn’t say anything (out loud) if my sister-in-law or anyone I knew did it, so perhaps she isn’t very polite for not keeping it in, but if you are comfortable with your choices, I think it’s fine to say that to her as you are reacting to her comments and you don’t need to hold your tongue. You probably shouldn’t suggest it is jealousy though, because it is unlikely to be that and that might make things blow up unnecessarily.

OP please can you put everyone out of their misery and reveal what an "Easter box" is?

I wouldn’t give it the air. You aren’t going to change her mind. I don’t particularly like SIL and therefore don’t value her opinion on anything! We get along fine, just doing things our own way and not paying much attention.
if you really want to get in her goat, say nowt.

My SIL does these. It’s a gift box full of treats like chocolate, cuddly toys, Easter themed gifts though ring American they also put AirPods in one year. Eye roll from us as the last thing her kids need is more stuff, but theirs kids, their money and their choice.

Block her on instagram and problem solved.

Ah thank you. I see! Glad my children are too old for that as it sounds unnecessarily time consuming. A Mini Eggs easter egg does them just fine and they should think themselves lucky.

I would "deal with" anyone I didn't like, and who didn't like me, in the same way. Decrease social contact as much as possible (both online and off) and be civil but no more on the occasions I did have to see them. I would get over the fact that they don't like me and ignore any digs, because there's no reason to care what she thinks of you. You know she doesn't like you so you don't need to take fresh offence every time she reveals that. Move on.

It is ridiculous to ask your husband to involve himself in this at all. This isn't a drama and doesn't need to be a drama so don't make it a drama.

My kids asked why we don’t do the when Suzie and Billy get $300 headphones at Easter and I just said that we don’t and that they have enough stuff for birthdays and Xmas and that they’d have to just have Eggs. They were fine about it! Even at 8 they could see that it was over the top. Their cousins are SPOILED and it’s not made them particularly nice people TBH.