How would you deal with a jealous ‘D’SIL

[Easter266]

As above - today has been the final straw. A few past comments, but it was obvious she was making digs over lunch at my DNIL’s.

I have two DC with DH (her brother). They had Easter boxes - fairly tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen on Insta today. ‘D’SIL didn’t like my post, and I know she saw my story as she referenced the Easter egg hunt.

Anyway, she made pointed digs about Easter boxes and ‘showing off’, I just rolled my eyes at the time but now regret not saying anything.

Ive told DH that next time she makes a comment, I will not be so restrained.

DH says I need to keep quiet for his sake and to not make things awkward.

IMO - he needs to speak up and say something to her. He disagrees. AIBU?

FML. How is a grown adult seriously noticing that someone didn't like their Insta post, let alone not comment on it.

If you're going to join in the nonsense of Easter boxes and show them off on insta then you need to not care that other people think you are showing off nonsense.

If you do care that other people think it's performative nonsense then don't do it or do it and don't post it.

What is an Easter box?

Wtf is an easter box?

If you're in to playing these sort of games then, as ever, the best way to 'win' this game is just always be very, very nice and polite to your SIL.

Trust me, it will absolutely enrage her.

I am delightful and Pollyanna like when my SIL is about.

Perphaps its none of sil business

Sounds like OP wants her whole life to be everyone's business.

I think this is just one sil behaviours from reading op.
Id actually consider coming off imstagram its so much healthier

🐰🐣 and if you are really naughty 🐊

Don't know but it sounds vaguely like Xmas eve boxes , totally ott and chavy.

How important is this person in your life to you? Do you value them or respect their opinion? Some people are meant to be tolerated. I find ignoring them and not wasting energy on them very freeing. It’s easy to become consumed by others reactions. Sounds like your DH came to a similar conclusion before you. If he thought saying something would improve things then I’m sure he would. He knows his sister and knows she’s just not worth wasting breath on. You be you and let her be her.

Listen, I don't know what's in an Easter box, but if you've chosen to share it and she's being a dick in response, it obviously matters to her and you can either rise above it or say what's your problem? I want to spoil my kids, have you got an issue with that?

Don't be passive if she isn't; stick up for you and your values.

But it’s okay not to like something, isn’t it? Or have I misunderstood?

Put her on a restricted list on your social media accounts so she can't see what you're posting.
It's best not to rock the family boat by addressing this head on, just take away the opportunity for her to respond to you.

I unfollowed my SIL because she posted her life all over insta and I knew the majority of it was fantasy land. I like her more now I don’t have to see the utter bullshit she posts. Maybe unfollow her, then you don’t get mad when she doesn’t like your posts?

FWIW I don’t like posts even when I like them 🤣

Easter boxes are excessive show off bs

If she says anything loaded or with contempt again - just keep asking “what do you mean? I don’t understand?”. Make ir super painful for her to wriggle out of.

Well, she's right, you are showing off, that's the point of Instagram surely. Why do your children need Easter boxes, the world's resources used on plastic crap, how much do you children need to know you love them? Where does it end, all this consumerism.
She doesn't sound jealous to me, just sick of your Instagram bullshit.

What in god's green earth is an Easter box?

I wouldn't have liked your post, because I just find stuff like that a bit empty.

Getting yourself wound up over something so petty is ridiculous.

She sounds mean. It’s much nicer to say nothing at all if you don’t like something. You buy your kids what you want as one day of chocolate treats etc in a box isn’t hurting anyone.

I would much, much, much prefer a whole box of those penny sweet, gummy crocodiles over chocolate eggs/bunnies any day!

I guess I know what to do next year!

I’m very old. My SIL and I have hated each other for all my married life which is most of my adult life.

she’s been hurtful and awful to me and I’ve been awful and hurtful back.

tbh it hasn’t gotten either of us anywhere. I was always so hurt when I was young. Why didn’t she like me? What have I done that’s so awful? Why is she so rude to me?

Tbh it affected everyone around us. My husband at one point did get fed up with me bitching about her. That hurt too at the time. Looking back I can see how it upset my my mil and fil. Which I regret really looking back, they didn’t deserve the atmosphere, they were nice people.

men are simple characters. Ive said this only tonight on another post. They want and lead simple lives and everything else is just noise to them. Most women are far too emotional for their liking. I doubt your husband truly understands what is going on.

My SIL and I are now very old. We’re in a weird state of friendship. Neither of us can be bothered to be unkind, it’s like we both know we’re being childish, but we’re both so wary of each other. She speaks to me like I’m a corporate client, I’m always looking out for the sting in the tail so I just grey rock her, pass pleasantries, it’s all too much effort for me.

For a few years in recent years, my husband has passed comments that has made me think he’s finally seen it and understood it. He amazed me only the other day by stating she’s harmless. At his grand old age he still doesn’t see it. I can’t be bothered to tell him different. He’ll never get it.

so back to your situation. Block her from your socials. You don’t need to unfriend her. Personally I’d grey rock her and let everyone else, including your husband ( as hard as it is) how nice you are to her and what a butch she is to you!

Well, you are showing off, splashing it on instagram. And oh my god, who cares who likes your posts!! Grow up. You need bigger things to focus on if you need to be restrained from saying something about Easter boxes. Listen to your husband and don’t make a big deal out of nothing.