Are most kids like this?

[Neverstopsever]

Really not enjoying motherhood at the moment and generally always did in the past.
My Dc, just 8, feels like such hard work to me. She is never satisfied, she has a lovely life, lots of friends, lots going on, but she is so whingy (spelling?) at the moment. She cannot occupy herself at all anymore, she’s bored with everything. She has so many toys, books, art supplies, a garden, trampoline, bike, scooter.
She constantly pesters to play on the computer, she’s allowed occasionally or to go out on her bike (Dh takes her a couple of times a day)
I’m tired of constantly having to find her something to do, we play with her lots, take her out lots, she plays with friends.
Shouldn’t a child at this age be able to find things to do and let us have a relaxed day, without moaning they’re bored all day or constantly arguing with me when I’ve said no to playing on the computer
I remember being left to it as a child and feeling quite content
Dh and I both so exhausted

Already posted above but equipment like a gymnastics bar or mat might give her that high impact exercise she needs. Depending where you live, she might need to be allowed play unsupervised outside more. My very active DS was never home, I gave up trying to contain him at a young age. We lived on a cul de sac and he played outside all day and night, when it got dark he ran home and put on his high vis and back out again. Keeping him indoors was hellish.

I don't think being an only child is the issue, many kids don't have siblings very close in age and often they don't want to play together and parents are constantly refereeing, one kid constantly hassling another to play with them. If she is a highly social active kid she would struggle regardless

I agree I don’t think this is an only child thing it seems like a personality thing to me. She has lots of opportunities for socialisation and her parents regularly play with her. If she had a sibling there’s no saying they would entertain her all day long either. Most siblings I know do some activities together but spend large parts of the day doing other things.

The gymnastics bar is a good shout, trampoline or swing ball to allow unsupervised play at home. I’m all for signing kids up for activities and this maybe your solution to burn some energy but I also think she needs to learn to cope with own company and find a way to entertain herself.

My 8yo is going through this phase at the moment. I don't pander to it but I do empathise with how it feels to be the mum of an only child and trying to get the balance right because im constantly flip flopping between feeling like she needs to entertain herself because its exhausting but then panicking at night time when I have peace and quiet that I should have "tried harder" because I worry about her being lonely and feeling pushed out. Ugh.

I've settled on trying to do bursts of offering my full time to an activity of her choice and then some co-activities like reading our own books, a bit of outdoor time so I can chat to her dad while she bikes around, and then allocating chores and/or some table time or bedroom time for solo play of her choice like lego, crafts, whatever.

But yes, it is exhausting.

On the flip side, my experience of being a sibling was that we would spend half the time fighting anyway so it's just a different challenge.

Yes I have 2 DD that are 3.5years different in age. Never ever did they play together. The fought every chance they got

Being bored is an activity. That is when your brains imagination kicks in.

Only boring people get bored. That's what I would tell her 🤷‍♀️

Who was exhausted ?
After an Easter Egg hunt ?

As a pp said, it is recommended that children get at least an hour a day of being active. Where is that in her weekly schedule, let alone this 4 day weekend ?

Piano is a great skill to have, but 30mins sitting on a piano stool isn't physically active.
The 'playing in the garden' is what is generally done as well as a swimming lesson, a football match, junior park run, going out for a hike in your nearest country park or up you local set of hills.

Have you thought about signing her up for cubs or Brownies ? So many different activities to enjoy in a good cub pack, which might include her being on camp for the weekend, too.

Ooh doesn't that post just stink of privilege??

Swimming lessons, football matches hikes in country parks? Just the sort of thing the child of 2 manual workers would be taken out to do on regular occasions NOT

Wheres the hills in a city centre tower blocks, and money for swimming lessons, football subs etc

Along with exhausted parents who work strange shifts on minimum wage without a penny to safe

Not necessarily talking about THE OP but it's the reality for many people

We were exhausted…! As I said we’d been doing things all week, I set up many play dates & Easter activities for Dd for the days leading up to Easter. On the Saturday we were out for the day an hour away for an Easter fair & hunt, lots of walking in a historical city and up and down hills to a castle. I set her hunt with clues in the house & garden on Sunday morning, Dh took her on a bike ride to the beach, we made a big lunch and then yes, we were exhausted and just wanted to sit and relax

OP are you maybe doing a little too much? So much so that your daughter just doesn’t have a clue what to do when you’re just in the house? Maybe pull back on what you are doing and she will get more used to it.

But this thread IS about the OP.

The OP is paying for piano lessons.
A piano lesson is more expensive than a swimming lesson, a football session and a Cub pack meeting every week combined.

If she likes bikes, have you taken her somewhere where she can try racing or even BMX style jumps?

Or if she likes football, is she in a team?

Training, playing, competing will all expel some of that energy and focus.

I agree with PP and with what you say that she is busy, but not actually doing lots of “exercise”. Some children need more than others. Things like junior parkrun will exhaust her, but not you. Football, again, great for her - and she begins to be able to self regulate.

From what you describe from the compulsive questioning etc she has pent up energy - so smashing a ball into a net/running as fast as you can for 2k/chucking yourself over a dirt jump does wonders for working that energy out in a more productive way!