Are most kids like this?

[Neverstopsever]

Really not enjoying motherhood at the moment and generally always did in the past.
My Dc, just 8, feels like such hard work to me. She is never satisfied, she has a lovely life, lots of friends, lots going on, but she is so whingy (spelling?) at the moment. She cannot occupy herself at all anymore, she’s bored with everything. She has so many toys, books, art supplies, a garden, trampoline, bike, scooter.
She constantly pesters to play on the computer, she’s allowed occasionally or to go out on her bike (Dh takes her a couple of times a day)
I’m tired of constantly having to find her something to do, we play with her lots, take her out lots, she plays with friends.
Shouldn’t a child at this age be able to find things to do and let us have a relaxed day, without moaning they’re bored all day or constantly arguing with me when I’ve said no to playing on the computer
I remember being left to it as a child and feeling quite content
Dh and I both so exhausted

Given all these suggestions…numerous times unfortunately

She can see it, but it’s like she can’t stop

No I mean to really lose it, we have been cross with her all day and Dh has had to withdraw himself to our room

At 8 she is far too old to be behaving like this. If mine did this they were sent away to find something to do for 30mins or there would be a consequence. The only children I know who
does this are a friends child who grew up having soMething Pencilled in every second of the day. She as well just cannot occupy herself for a second. My friend very much regretted being so overly involved. At 11 she is still like this and friend very frustrated.

She needs time to be bored and learn to occupy herself.

I remember around that age having literal tantrums because of how bored I was! I did develop an excellent imagination and I'm now very good at occupying myself.

I take the same approach with my 2 (10&7) and just ride out the moaning and pestering.

My son (7) is like this. I chalk it up to being the only child in the house. At least it shows she likes your company. My son is going through a phase where bedtime takes 3 hours because he's become rather silly and playful in the evenings and yes it drives me mad, no I'm not getting enough sleep but my gosh I'll miss it when it stops. As someone previously mentioned they'll be teenagers soon and won't want or need our constant attention (if any at all). Take 5 minutes out to calm down when things get rough and go back to being together. When I'm really zonked I just stick a film on, that way we're together but I can still catch up on the news, answer his constant question and waste time on here while he's cuddly and content next to me. He's awaiting an adhd assessment and I find the physical closeness of sofa/movie time helps reconnect us after a big emotions day.

I really don’t think i’ll miss this, it’s making me ill

I have an 18 yo and an 8 yo. iPads didnt exist when the eldest was young and it took us ages before we even bought one. My 8 yo has grown up with one. I have realiy had to cut his expectation and time in it. It is addictive.

If this makes you ill, then it’s getting a bit odd. What happens if you say no to your dd?

Tell her that her boredom isn't your problem - my dd knew by then not to moan she was bored or she'd get given a job!

DD is 8 and I wouldn't say she's like this but all kids are different. She does have regular activities through the week and weekends but she isn't pestering us to do things. When she has free time I'll find her sketching, reading, and making up games with her sister. We do spend a lot of time with the dcs at weekends (days out, visiting attractions and shows etc) but we quite enjoy it as parents, we find lots of activities to suit us all and don't want to just sit around in our spare time.

I have twins, one is excellent at entertaining herself and not bothered with screens or devices – though does like a film. The other constantly complains of being bored and can’t seem to do anything without a companion. I’d say they only get along well enough to play together once a fortnight.

DD10 is similar at times, it drives me mad.

We take her out, do activities etc but I’m also very firm in telling her she needs to entertain herself. Sometimes we have stuff to do or need a break.

I might reel off a few suggestions to get her thinking then tell her very firmly that I won’t tolerate listening to her whinge so she needs to choose something to do and keep herself busy.

As mentioned by @PottingBench our mum used to say there was plenty of cleaning to do if we were bored and we’d said it to our eldest who is five. He occupies himself after being given lots of jobs he’s wasn’t very interested in, could you try this

She goes on and on or gets angry/upset, then comes back later and asks again…and again

We do all this, we don’t just sit around in our spare time, but have had nearly a week of lovely activities and outings for the holidays and after an egg hunt and nice lunch today we just wanted (and needed!) to relax

Is she an only child?

It sounds like she is lonely. Can you arrange playdates, or play with her more? It's normal that children this age want to have company for play.

Unfortunately this is the result of modern parenting where it seems children must be entertained all the time. Boredom as a young child is actually helpful as it teaches the ability to entertain ourselves and also resilience. You are the parent you need to set firm boundaries about the amount of entertaining you are prepared to do and the limits of whinging you are prepared to accept. You don’t have to be the entertainments committee 24 x 7 your DC needs to learn how to entertain herself using the large amount of resources you have provided - adhd / ASD or similar is not a get out clause. Set boundaries , it will be tough at first but they will get the hang of it

I find this unacceptable op. Tough if she gets angry/upset; that’s on her to sort out. You have needs too. She’s 8. If you need space, tell her no, go somewhere and lock the door, and put noise cancelling headphones phones on. Tell her when you’ve had 2 hours of peace, you will do whatever she wants, but you won’t if you don’t get your 2 hours first.
I know all kids are different, but if memory serves I chanted ‘play, chore, me time’ very early on, I think when my girls were around 2yo. I would play with them, like set up a train track, then wash up or whatever, then have a cup of tea or whatever. They actually quite liked to see me with my tea as it meant it was their turn next.

You could be describing me at her age.
I was very content to sit and colour or play independently until about her age and since then I’ve needed and still do need a lot of physical activity or my mind just races. I struggle if I have too many options a lot of the time too.

I would say have a good declutter and cut down on the amount of toys and things she has so picking something to do herself doesn’t feel so overwhelming.

People suggesting giving her jobs to do might not be massively off the mark too. My dad very quickly started enlisting me in helping with the garden and other jobs around the house whenever I started complaining about being bored and I ended up really enjoying it.
Even now as adult I usually find a good heavy job in the garden or if I’m having a particularly restless day.

Same. Being bored resulted in chores to do

Do we have the same 8 year old!? You have my sympathy

She plays with neighbourhood friends every weekend and Dh plays in the garden and bike rides and I do crafts, baking etc with her, she has a lot going on

DD9 can be like this. She is dyslexic and we think possibly has ADHD as well (her sister is autistic and is never like this and will happily special interest on something for hours). The dyslexia has made it particularly difficult because she finds it hard to access things that are written e.g. comics, books, anything with instructions (although this has improved lately).

She has loads of hobbies and clubs because it cuts down the whining. I really want her to be able to occupy herself but she is so so bad at it. One thing that works a bit is sitting down and doing 10 minutes of the thing with her and then withdrawing- e.g. a craft or painting. I also feel a bit sorry for kids these days- if we were bored we called for a friend and played out. They're stuck with us for entertainment and we have to do adult things.

I think that these days, parents feel pressure to be occupying their children all the time, whether it’s clubs, activities, play dates, days out etc etc. And the result is that they don’t know how to occupy themselves. And this isn’t a criticism btw - I know lots of parents who do this and worry about their children getting bored. But I think being bored can be a good thing - it allows children the opportunity to be creative, think for themselves etc. I know I could easily fall into this trap but due to having a baby, I can’t occupy my older DC all the time so they need to occupy themselves!