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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask if anyone else does not feel overwhelmed?

107 replies

Highhigh · 05/04/2026 13:37

Does anyone else just NOT feel overwhelmed?? Off the back of the overwhelmed parenting thread. I just can’t relate to a lot of it. We both work full time, 2 dc, kids activities. My house is tidy, I get to relax, maybe my dc are too easy going? I don’t stress easily to be fair…but surely I’m not the only one who feels this way?! Anyone else?

and no I’m not bragging or boasting and yes I know everyone is different but I’m asking is there ANYONE else who is just NOT overwhelmed or stresses with life?

OP posts:
Mulledjuice · 05/04/2026 13:39

What do you think might be the differences between you and people who feel overwhelmed?

UniquePinkSwan · 05/04/2026 13:42

I’m the same. My default setting is relaxed. When people go on about being snowed under with ‘life admin’ I genuinely get confused with what it is they do. I have a very physical job that I do full time and my son has autism although older but I get plenty of time to relax. I have no family near me either that helps out either

Wildgoat · 05/04/2026 13:43

I think ivf been lucky I don’t think I’ve ever felt overwhelmed, which apparently means over powered, crushed due to an excessive amount of emotions, tasks or responsibilities.

howvee I was abused as a child, and I think I leaned to cope with a lot, amd developed a lot of resilience, and nothing comes close to that level of helplessness as an adult thay I endured as a child.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 05/04/2026 13:43

I'm in a constant state of overwhelm and have been for as long as I can remember, but I have adhd, and it kind of goes with the territory. It's partly my fault as I can't seem to help overcommitting myself!

Interested to see what responses you get on this thread.

Vconcerned1 · 05/04/2026 13:44

Highhigh · 05/04/2026 13:37

Does anyone else just NOT feel overwhelmed?? Off the back of the overwhelmed parenting thread. I just can’t relate to a lot of it. We both work full time, 2 dc, kids activities. My house is tidy, I get to relax, maybe my dc are too easy going? I don’t stress easily to be fair…but surely I’m not the only one who feels this way?! Anyone else?

and no I’m not bragging or boasting and yes I know everyone is different but I’m asking is there ANYONE else who is just NOT overwhelmed or stresses with life?

What is your income, how long is your commute, do you have a cleaner, do you have a mortgage, do you have a car that requires maintenance? Do you have a support network? Do your parents help? Do you use childcare that your children don't mind going to? Is your house one that requires work doing? Do any of your family have health issues? Many variables here that impact the stress of life.

Statsquestion1 · 05/04/2026 13:44

I’m the same @Highhigh , I don’t get it sometimes tbh. My house is highly organised and tidy. I work full time as does dh. I still get to spend time with my family and do things for me. I cook from scratch, I don’t have piles of laundry etc I just get it done…

FateAmenableToChange · 05/04/2026 13:45

Im not overwhelmed, in fact the opposite I feel like Im coming into my own finally. Everything in my life is fairly sorted now. Sure there are areas I need to pick up the pace, fitness and strength training being the main one, and better financial planning. However, I say this as someone who is paid well in an enjoyable career, owns a house with no mortgage, and has young adult children. Also happily single with good friends nearby. I wouldnt say its luck, as much was hard won. But completely appreciate not everyone is so well resourced.

Minniliscious · 05/04/2026 13:46

I would love to be like this but I often spiral into overwhelmed meltdowns! I have people up for dinner today arriving at 2.30. I cleaned for hours yesterday but still keep spotting things - my brain won’t switch off from feeling stressed. Going to pour myself a champers!

henlake7 · 05/04/2026 13:47

Congratulations OP on being one of those lucky people!
My mother is the same, nothing seems to phase her. She just doesnt see the point of worrying about anything.
My father however worries about anything, even nothing! (fear of the other shoe dropping!!LOL).
Im lucky that I have a fairly stress free life because Im def a worrier!

gaonimsc4 · 05/04/2026 13:49

I don’t feel overwhelmed (at this stage of my life). But I have healthy, behaved, happy, well achieving children (out of the trenches!), we are financially comfortable, healthy parents who support us with the kids, happy and supportive marriage, we have a cleaner and a nice home. I have a career I enjoy, pays well and is extremely flexible which in turn enables me to manage family life and my health, hobbies and fitness. I’m also not yet perimenopausal. I recognise I am at a comfortable stage of life but it can turn on a dime. I recognise I’ve had a lot of luck in my life which enables me to not be overwhelmed. Sadly not everyone does.

Highhigh · 05/04/2026 13:50

Vconcerned1 · 05/04/2026 13:44

What is your income, how long is your commute, do you have a cleaner, do you have a mortgage, do you have a car that requires maintenance? Do you have a support network? Do your parents help? Do you use childcare that your children don't mind going to? Is your house one that requires work doing? Do any of your family have health issues? Many variables here that impact the stress of life.

What is your income- total income 120k
how long is your commute- 15mins
do you have a cleaner, - no
do you have a mortgage,- yes
do you have a car that requires maintenance? - yep
Do you have a support network? - as in parents who do regular childcare- no.
Do your parents help? - no
Do you use childcare that your children don't mind going to? Yes- afterschool for an hour and a half each day- they love it(all their friends go)
Is your house one that requires work doing? - no because it’s all done
Do any of your family have health issues? - yes, I have some low lying issues but they are being managed, dh has ibs.
Many variables here that impact the stress of life.

OP posts:
FondPelican · 05/04/2026 13:52

Agreed. There is a lot of stuff but it’s all fine. And before anyone asks yes I have a mortgage, three children, no cleaner, work full time, my mum died years ago and my dad is very ill, both my ex husband and my current husband have mental health issues. I don’t earn a lot and neither does my husband. But life is good. Our house could be tidier and sometimes the mess is a bit overwhelming when there is a lot to do. But we are happy as anything and enjoy our slow pace of life. Take pleasure in small things. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s very hard but I’m not overwhelmed as such. And when I am it is due to other people’s mental state, not my own.

Farewelltothatid · 05/04/2026 13:53

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 05/04/2026 13:43

I'm in a constant state of overwhelm and have been for as long as I can remember, but I have adhd, and it kind of goes with the territory. It's partly my fault as I can't seem to help overcommitting myself!

Interested to see what responses you get on this thread.

I totally empathise with this.

Life has always been overwhelming and a challenge to me. My late diagnosis of autism and adhd has helped explain this to a large extent..

I've always been very conscious that a lot of people seem to sail through life and nothing phases them. I know some of it is down to personality but i'm sure support networks and family background play a large part.

MyTrivia · 05/04/2026 13:54

Maybe you are super laid back? Or don’t have many problems?

sunshinestar1986 · 05/04/2026 13:55

Just be thankful and say grace?

Statsquestion1 · 05/04/2026 13:56

I also have no parental help or a cleaner.

Statsquestion1 · 05/04/2026 13:56

sunshinestar1986 · 05/04/2026 13:55

Just be thankful and say grace?

I’m sure OP is thankful, I know I am.

ReadingCrimeFiction · 05/04/2026 14:01

But isn't this the same as feeling like on MN it's all shitty abusive men? People don't post or talk about their lives when the're just ticking along. It's people who are sturggling who are coming on forums like this etc.

I'm not feeling particularly overwhelmed at the moment. But I have had periods of it. And it's often linked to a lot of different things all going on at the same time. Eg a couple of years ago - we were struggling to get on top of DS' ND. He was in a mess - school was hard, meds weren't working, he was struggling with friendships.

At the same time, I was freelance (and the main breadwinner) and work was not going well and so money was a constant battle, and inconsistent with it so it was the never-ending worry.

DD was still young enough she needed a lot of supervision. DH was in the process of starting new job after retraining.

SIL was trying to extricate herself from am abusive relationship and we were taking on a lot of both the emotional and practical support for her and her family.

Life was hectic and stressful and it was really really overwhelming - so less about the actua list of things we had to do and more about the competing worries and fears and stresses.

Now finances have stabilised. work is quite stressful, but we have a routine and things are goign okay. DS's ADHD is well controlled with meds. DD is a bit older and getting a lot more independent. DH's job is stable and he's into the groove.

My job is not as stable as we like so that's still a bit of a stress. But every month we feel we inch more and more towards proper stability. Meanwhile, a lot of the other worries have dissipated or reduced so i am ONLY really worrying about that, and it's not as huge as it was. As a result, i can cope with daily life a lot better.

ExtraOnions · 05/04/2026 14:03

Sometimes people bring “overwhelmed” on themselves. You read these threads of people having weekend packed full of things “park” “craft” “hobby” etc … it’s like kids have to be fully entertained at all times, people need to chill out.

All the keeping up with others as well .. place needs to be spotless, everything in its place, constant DIY, cooking from scratch

Sometimes it’s ok to be lazy

Throwntothewolves · 05/04/2026 14:12

Generally stress is a reaction to pressure. It sounds like you've got a good way of managing life's pressures that works for you and your family, which is great. Presumably you're able to adapt as a team to anything that might affect your coping capacity.

Many others on paper may seem to have no reason to feel overwhelmed, but something, or maybe many small things are making it feel like they're not coping as they would like to.

Be grateful you've found what works for your family. Don't take it for granted, and never judge others who are struggling. It doesn't take much to tip the balance.

blankittyblank · 05/04/2026 14:19

I’m like this. I rarely feel overwhelmed. I also don’t really get anxiety. I’m very good at compartmentalising things in my brain, and if something threatens to worry me of stress me out (unless it’s a genuine threat) I can just push it out of my mind. I tend to err on the positive too which is suspect is part of it.
i do have very stressful things happening in my life (my son has cancer) so it’s not that I have a charmed life. Just the strange way my brain works (my mum was exactly the same)

BiteSizeByzantine · 05/04/2026 14:20

Highhigh · 05/04/2026 13:37

Does anyone else just NOT feel overwhelmed?? Off the back of the overwhelmed parenting thread. I just can’t relate to a lot of it. We both work full time, 2 dc, kids activities. My house is tidy, I get to relax, maybe my dc are too easy going? I don’t stress easily to be fair…but surely I’m not the only one who feels this way?! Anyone else?

and no I’m not bragging or boasting and yes I know everyone is different but I’m asking is there ANYONE else who is just NOT overwhelmed or stresses with life?

Then something will happen that you didnt forsee and it'll upset the apple cart and suddenly - overwhelm

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 05/04/2026 14:22

I don’t feel overwhelmed. However, I have a job I like, a husband who is an enthusiastic equal parent and relatively ‘easy’ kids. We have a housekeeper and a nanny, and are pretty relaxed people in general.

We’re happy, healthy, loved up and very financially comfortable. I don’t really have very much to be stressed about and long may that continue.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 05/04/2026 14:24

Nope - fully overwhelmed with a messy un-renovated house, and no time to do anything.

blackpooolrock · 05/04/2026 14:28

As a single parent to two kids who do 5 different sports between them on 6 different days i don't ever feel overwhelmed. Yep we need to be places but managing time is... well... easy. I don't have any help with childcare as my parents are dead... no real support network as such but i have various friends that i see and whatnot but none of them help with the kids.

I've got an old house, mortgage, car, no cleaner etc. house isn't spotless but its clean enough that i would be happy for anyone to come in at any time.