AIBU to ask if anyone else does not feel overwhelmed?

[Highhigh]

Does anyone else just NOT feel overwhelmed?? Off the back of the overwhelmed parenting thread. I just can’t relate to a lot of it. We both work full time, 2 dc, kids activities. My house is tidy, I get to relax, maybe my dc are too easy going? I don’t stress easily to be fair…but surely I’m not the only one who feels this way?! Anyone else?

and no I’m not bragging or boasting and yes I know everyone is different but I’m asking is there ANYONE else who is just NOT overwhelmed or stresses with life?

Me. I’m fairly laid back and a ‘coper’. Capable of sitting staring out of a window, stress free. I have lots of issues to contend with in my life so it’s not a bed of roses. But my camellia is flowering beautifully.

So do you think the high income might have something to do with this OP?

Easy to be 'chill' when you're not stressed about the cost of absolutely everything and you dread something breaking/going wrong/ running out.

I feel overwhelmed when I get a virus (which a regular, sometimes every month occurrence with a school aged child in the house). I can manage everything when I’m feeling well, but when the virus hits it messes up my sleep which I turn messes up my energy, then I have to skip a workout which is my usual stress management tool, then I get behind at work because I feel ill, and so on. I really hate feeling ill.

Yes I don’t. I have a lot of free time even with very busy kids, and yes both me and DH work. I watch a lot of tv and read, I’m always confused when friends say things like ‘I don’t have time to read books/watch tv.’ I sort of think, what do you do in the evening lol. Having said that, I’m pretty introverted so don’t value socializing and I also am happy to procrastinate about almost anything.

What makes you think that OP doesn’t have high outgoings though? Some people still struggle to save on high incomes!

Day to day, no I don’t really feel overwhelmed. There may be moments in a day, or specific days where something throws me but just your average Tuesday, no.

My house is tidy, but not spotless. We both run businesses so work is full time plus whatever other hours are required. We don’t have much in the way of support but that, along with finances, desired lifestyle and our own ability to “cope” is why we chose to have just one child. We are fortunate that we happen to have a healthy, happy child so that certainly helps keeps things from fizzing over, though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have days where he loses his mind. If we had more than one child I know I would not be able to agree with your post. As it is, we are able to use our free time and (limited) spare money to prioritise enjoying life.

@Statsquestion1i didn't mention anything of savings but clearly £120k is not on the breadline is it? Nobody is going to bed hungry on 120k.

The point is the lack of stress is a privilege.

Hahaha

Your household income is comparatively very high.
Check your privilege as the youngsters say.

Experiment by giving half your take home pay to charity every month and review things in two years' time.

If the OP was struggling on top 5% salary, she wouldn't be on here 'not understanding' why some people are stressed.

yes of course I get that. We earn about 20k more and I feel the same. However,I know lots of people who earn similar who stress about money, feel overwhelmed. So earnings alone can’t always be the reason. It’s how you manage them. I get your point, of course it eliminates stressors, but it’s not the only reason.

nobody can feel overwhelmed all the time
life is sometimes on an even keel

I never said she could be struggling just that she could have high outgoings.
God, I just love how people jump to tear people down on here when they make a positive acknowledgment!!

you are in a lucky position op

This is simply not true for everyone.
Some people have sadnesses or stresses that never resolve.

@Perfect28but a high salary can also mean that the job has lots of responsibility or pressure. Can be stressful or have long hours. It’s refreshing to read a thread where someone isn’t overwhelmed.

my pay is better than previously but still very low
my commute is long
only one dc is at home but all my dc are adults
so yes, a period of not feeling overwhelmed for me
cherish the times op

'Tear down' is a bit melodramatic. It was a reply.

The point is - the OP is happy. If she lost her job that might change very quickly.

Yes but OP hasn’t and they’re not stressing thinking of hypothetical situations right now either, we could all sit and stress about that. But then again OP never stated any other financials, maybe savings would cover everything for 3-6months while looking for a job.

I think having plenty of money makes a huge difference to how manageable things feel- not just in terms of practicalities but just that base underlying knowledge that that side of things was ok. I think money worries are really destabilising.

I also think "working FT" covers a lot of different situations, some more stressful than others. I found being a corporate lawyer with small children very stressful- almost never home before about 9pm (sometimes much later), trying to coordinate with DH about relieving the nanny etc etc. When I switched to a role which was more 9-5 everything felt incredibly easy, but of course it's all relative. For me this worked perfectly- I didn't feel overwhelmed at all despite working FT because I knew that I'd be home by 6.30pm and able to switch off from one mode and switch on another- busy, yes, but not overwhelmed. What was much harder and did feel overwhelming was having competing incompatible demands (a nanny who had to leave by 8pm, a client who wanted me there until midnight- this was in the days before WFH).

That's just two variables- there are many others- so I'm not sure that simply comparing the headline situation is that meaningful.

I feel similarly to the OP.

You sre right that the answers to some of these questions might be why I/we don't feel as overwhelmed but also for me, those have been purposeful decisions. So yes, it might be why I fele less overwhelmed, and that's why I designed things this way. It wasn't just luck.

Whether I have been or not has depended on the stage of my life ( eg when my eldest didn’t have a diagnosis and we didn’t know how to help her , when my husband lost his job,when my husband was doing a job he hated with horrible hours until he found a better one , when we struggled to put food on the table , when my dad got very sick, when I got diagnosed with a chronic condition before I knew how to manage it and still st times when I’m in immense pain).
generally though when all is good we are good. It’s all about different circumstances for different people. I can say that I’ve been less overwhelmed than being overwhelmed, im
generally grateful for my life , but sometimes when life throws something at us I lose momentum until I regroup and find a way to deal with it.

And whatever any poster says. Life is a combination of decisions and element of luck! We don’t all start from the same place and Poole make good choices that go bad and vice versa . Let’s not be so naive .

I could have written this. It's made me mentally tough but very cynical and I've been called sang froid by many peeps.
Can't understand being overwhelmed on here sometimes, it's like certain phrases [only see on here] it is often over used.
We have progressed with tech etc but have we actually made progress ?
I think stress has been increased due to social media, fast news and the need to have everything, plus the 15 minutes of fame. Among other thing reality t.v has a lot to answer for.

I'm like the OP, but not lazy; I'm sure OP is not lazy either. I still manage to get everything done, have standards and tackle everyday life.

I think it's more about your approach and outlook to things, how you tackle problems, worries and how you handle expectations and boundaries.

I'm just as busy as the next person, but my attitude toward things just seems very different to those who feel overwhelmed by the same stuff. I see this at work too.

Three things will impact your attitude to your life -

1. how objectively difficult / stressful your life is.
2. your personal ability to manage life (how well organised you are etc.)
3. your propensity to feel stressed / relaxed.

So someone could have a pretty nice set up and also be really organised so feels super on top of it and relaxed. Alternatively someone could be living in a circus and not give two shits regardless so they would be relaxed too.

My point is that there are some basic facts about your life which indicate how stressful / not stressful it is. lots of stuff is subjective and would be stressful for some but not to others.