AIBU to not enjoy being around my kids?

[pickingthedandelions]

I don’t enjoy being with my children (4 and 2.)

I love them but I just want someone to take them off me so I can relax.

Is this normal? Probably not.

Hide that mofo good heavens

Honestly you're in the trenches at this stage. I think I'd take the batteries out of the chainsaw or regularly hide it

I've found loop earplugs very helpful in just taking the edge off my children's shrill little voices - would recommend, I feel like a slightly more patient person with them in

It is a frustrating mix of being busy and bored at the same time. So hard not ever being able to do what one wants at the weekends. They are bloody lovely though aren't they.

I separated from their dad at around that age.

It was the extreme option, but gave me a break for 35% of the time. That was a bit more of a break than I'd have preferred, but was what we settled at. I genuinely think my time without the kids makes me a much better parent when they are with me. It was fucking exhausting at that age and it was the only way to force some time for myself. No regrets a decade on. They ended up with 2 engaged parents instead of one who did nothing and one knackered, broken parent that did everything. I was confident their dad would want time with them and I was right.

@TheFaithfulWeaver when they were three and one I did actually consider this. I was that desperate for a break!

Could you have some time away?

Would your finances stretch to a weekend out of it for each of you? Even just for a weekend of napping and snacks in a Travelodge in the same town you live in, if it can't stretch further... Anyone you could stay with and be looked after by?

Sometimes you do just genuinely need a break from it all. I ended up a carer instead to DP, so I'm still always responsible for someone. I love my family, but I really do fucking cherish the couple of weekends a year my kids are with their dad and DP is visiting his family and so I have noone to look after but myself. In the midst of parenting and caring, those 4/5 days a year are absolutely necessary for my mental health. Look after yourself.

Honestly as lovely as that sounds I feel like right now it’s a while off, although hopefully not that far off. DD still wakes at night (had hoped this would have improved at nearly 3 but it seems not) and DH doesn’t hear her and she’d go nuclear if it wasn’t me anyway.

Omg this is totally normal as a mum of a 12 year old 11 year old and 4 month old I can safely say it’s normal, I love my kids they are my whole world but yes sometimes I just want a few hours alone without anyone around me

I separated when my dd was 2.5
It greatly improved my free time (from being the default parent 100% of the time, with a mostly useless hanger-on, to just being the default parent 80% of the time - and my exH has stepped up once he's been left as the only adult in the room)
That said, for more than 1 year after the split my daughter spent EVERY single night sleeping at mine - because she point blank refused to spend the night at his place (which btw was the house she'd always known - I moved out!)
But no, she would wake up in the middle of the night and scream for me nonstop and they would turn up at my door at 2 am (after a 20mins car ride) with him looking shell-shocked😅

The fact that OP said her daughter would go nuclear if she did not respond to her in the night reminded me of this unplanned-for side effect 😅