AIBU to refuse to allow a friend to stay because of her candle obsession?

[LikeACandleInTheBin]

A friend has asked to stay with me as she has done before but she is completely obsessed with candles and I hate having them in the house for anything other than emergencies because of the fire risk and she’s far from careful with them as she’ll go to the shop and leave them on or even go to bed.

She brought them into my home and used them when I told her not to. This was a few years ago but I don’t trust her not to sneak them in again especially as she doesn’t see that leaving them on while she goes out is incredibly foolish.

I’ve recently moved to flats so she’d also be risking my neighbours in addition to my pets.

AIBU to refuse to allow her to stay unless she definitely leaves the candles at home?

Well OBVIOUSLY not OP.

This is batshit! I light candles in jars and have my tealight in my wax melter. I've been doing it for years! Perfectly safe unless you're a total imbecile! All this candle panic is absolutely ridiculous!
But I agree that if I'd asked someone not to do something when they stayed, then I'd expect them to respect my wishes or there's no way they'd ever stay again!
(And if she follows a witchy path and it is so important to her, then why can't she light them outside to do her rituals, assuming you have a garden space? Or give it a rest while she's away!)

Not unreasonable at all, she’s disrespected you before, no reason to think she will again.

Too sensible for mumsnet where everyone wants people to just pile on their supposed friends

If you read my OP I mentioned that I asked her not to bring them before and she ignored me and I suspect that she’d do it again.

They’re a huge fire risk, so for me it would be a firm no.

She was unbelievably disrespectful to bring them and use them in YOUR home, when you specifically asked her not to.

What sort of rude individual brings her own candles to someone else's home to light?

YANBU to put your foot down. She needs to be told she's really, really rude and presumptuous (apart altogether from her carelessness).

Excellent idea

I agree. Provided you’re not a complete idiot candles aren’t the death trap most people think they are. My German great grandmother when she moved to London to be with her son and granddaughter (my mum) had candles on their Christmas tree! Imagine that. No accidents.

I agree though, just ask her not to bring them, if she does then you can’t trust her and won’t have her to stay again.

Candles in jars are perfectly safe though, I have some.

She's a rubbish friend and an incompetent Wiccan. She doesn't need a real flame for any of that and if she knew what she was doing she wouldn't be bringing candles to your home against your wishes.

Next time she visits (or you see her) take a piece of paper with a pentagram drawn on it, with an upward arrow on the right side from the bottom point. Draw a small triangle under the arrow. Banish the fire.

Have you not been in a shop recently? Shops are full of candles and they've been very popular recently!

Your place, your rules. You told her not to bring candles, she brought them anyway. I would refuse to host her again, ánd tell her exactly why.

Some people obviously think they’re only used in a power cut 🤔

That's the only time I will use candles. I don't like candles. They hurt my eyes and dont give out enough light to do anything.

They remind me of the oil crisis in the 1970s and the resulting constant power cuts.

YANBU as she has already gone against your wishes bringing candles in previously and there is a good chance she would again.

Also, I absolutely LOVE your username 😂@LikeACandleInTheBin

You still go to shops, then? 😂

What’s so bizarre about people shopping in shops?!

Sorry. 💐
A bit obscure.
My previous post was that I really don't know anyone who buys actual candles and then that you can buy LED candles online. Most people I know buy lots online.

But surely a lot of candle lovers it's about the scent isn't it which LED doesn't really provide

She broke your rule before, so what can she expect? Just be honest and tell her why, and no.