Would you buy this house? TW-suicide

[Consideringbuying]

I am a lone parent with 2 small kids and am almost through a fairly awful and dragged out divorce. The circumstances around the divorce were horrible for all of us and I'm so ready to be in a secure home and just move on from it all.

I'm (hopefully) going to be in a position to buy a house soon and there's a house has been up for sale for a couple of months round the corner from where we live. I love the area and have really liked living here. The house is much bigger and better than the one we're renting and is exactly what I'd be looking for. It's one of the nicer homes in the estate.

It's also significantly under my small budget and is about £40k under market value for other homes of the same size in the same estate. I've been told this is because the owner is wanting a quick sale however it's sat for a few months already (unheard of in this area) and was empty for about 2-3 years before that. The reason being that one of the adults in the home took their own life in the property a couple of years ago.

Initially when I heard I was a bit wary and wasn't sure if I'd want to buy somewhere that had held so much pain for the previous owners and where a traumatic death had occurred but the more I'm thinking about it I'm wondering if that's silly and I should go for it if it's still available when I'm ready?

Being so under budget would mean I could pay off earlier than anticipated and would financially be just massive for me under our current circumstances. It would also mean I'd be able to redecorate rather than having to live in it as is for a while and try to save. Its a fairly new build house too and homes in the area are well built and reliable.

The downside is that it's been empty for so long, and I'm wondering about the impact of the history of the house on my kids as its common knowledge what happened and they will probably be told at some point by friends on the street which could be upsetting for them.

So my albu:

Yabu - don't buy the house (please can you explain why you wouldn't)
Yanbu -I would buy or have bought under those circumstances before.

Yeah mine is about that age and part of it used to be a factory (very small one!) in Victorian times. So definitely several deaths over the years I'd imagine.

Think about one of the main reasons why houses get sold- death. And how many of those deaths took place inside the house? Probably the majority.

If you've been to see it and you like it and don't get any unpleasant feelings when you are there then you should buy it.
People die in houses all the time. Both my parents died at home - one in our parental home and the other in the flat they later moved into. People have bought both properties.
I wouldn't buy a property where people had been murdered or other horrible crimes had been committed. That's in a completely different league to someone dying of cancer in the property or someone who was mentally unwell and sadly died by suicide.

I think it’s a tricky one. There’s a house nearby where someone committed suicide. Not a rumour; my parents knew the family. Every time I walk past it I think about that, even though it was 35 years ago.

When my parents were buying their current house my mum saw one house that was absolutely immaculate. New everything. It was huge, in an area that’s very expensive and was half their budget. The estate agent, seeing how impressed my mum was, felt that he had to tell her the story: there had been a catastrophic fire, and the two small children of house had climbed into a wardrobe and had perished. She said all the paint and new furniture in the world couldn’t erase that image from her mind. I know which road it was but not the actual house and as it happens I drive that way to work most mornings, and still think of that family.

It wouldn't bother me. Most of the houses I've lived in probably someone died in.

You've got a wonderful opportunity here. I do understand your nervousness after everything you've been through.

You might find comfort in burning sage.

My dad took his own life in our family home. A few years later my mum wanted to re-marry and sell the house to buy something with her new partner. It took a while to sell - I expect because of the stigma like the home you are looking at.

Despite the tragic death of my Dad, it was a very happy home where I have lots of great memories. One tragic event doesn’t make a home doomed. The house didn’t trigger his depression, being made redundant did that!

The family who moved into our old family home were aware of what happened (small village) but have made their own memories and happiness there. If you like the house, I really hope you aren’t put off. Homes are what you make them.

It wouldn't bother me.

It's always tragic when someone finds themselves in a position where taking their own live seems like the only solution. However, it's seperate to the house. The house cannot cause depression.

There's far more than goes on in houses behind closed doors that we never know about.

I think you have to visit and see how you feel - sometimes a house just has an uncomfortable air about. (With or without a sudden death there).
FWIW I think someone took their own life in the garage of the house my parents bought. They didn't get any negative vibes from the property but did get a vicar to come and bless the house.
With the work they have done it's a lovely house and really peaceful to be there.
(I've also visited other properties that have really unsettled me - one turned out to have been used as a mental home and no idea about the history of the other one!)

Thanks to everyone who's responded and especially those who have been personally impacted and still took the time to post. I'm sorry for your losses and appreciate your insight. I wouldn't say I'm particularly woo or anything like that but I also thought the price drop was very big and I was really surprised its sat for as long as it has which is why I wondered how others would look at it. I think I'll go see it and try to see if it's the fact it's been empty that's the issue.

Someone died in my house.It wasn’t suicide but it didn’t stop me taking the house and I don’t really think about it.

I bought a flat where someone had died suddenly, and there were still many signs of it that I had to deal with (NOT body fluids). I felt sad for him, I lit a candle for him, and then I set to work to turn it into a home, as he had done in his day.

Do it quickly! There was a guy whose wife was having serious mental health issues (related to a tumor but I don't think they knew this at the time). He smashed up the newly fitted kitchen then committed suicide using a gun. The person who subsequently bought the house got it for a steal, has been there ages, has amazing views, in a great catchment area.

Most houses probably had someone die in them, ok not by suicide but if the house is amazing, secure your future and that of your children and get it. I'd personally get a priest round to bless it. I'm a bit funny about atmosphere in a house and that would help, I think, obviously whatever religious person you choose. A friend burnt sage in every room to evict the horrible feelings following a very acrimonious separation.

My Gran always said that it’s not the dead you have to worry about, it’s the living.
Go and view it, see how you feel in it.

We live in a council house and knew the previous tenant who had died at the top of the stairs, it didn’t bother us at all. Most of us will live in properties where someone has died, either tragically or naturally. My dad died in his home, that was his wish, I made sure that was granted. The buyer for that property was not at all phased by it and is still happily living there 5 years later.

No because I’m superstitious and watch too many haunted house shows!

I had a friend growing up
who lived in a house where an entire family were murdered by an escaped convict (except the Mum who later moved to a different town, hence the house was sold to my friends parents). It was known as the house where the murders happened, but no one teased my friend about it. More it was just tacitly accepted. It was a happy home for them. I would go and look round it and see how you feel op.

Do people actually get priests round to bless houses?

Im confused as to why anyone would do such a thing Unless of course they did think the house was haunted or something sinister was going on.

In which case then surely you wouldn’t buy it ?!?

Seems very contradictory and weird to say “oh don’t be daft OP. You bag yourself a bargain house. Everything will be peachy. But just in case you best get Father O Malley round to de possess the gaff. Oh and here’s the phone number for GhostBusters. Yknow, just in case…. But yeah. Great catchment area. Go for it”!

No, they don’t. It’s one of those Mn delusions like ‘Take in ironing’ as a solution to financial difficulties.

It cracks me up that Catholic priests are so often specifically recommended, presumably because of horror films being superstitious posters’ main source of ideas about haunting.

the area and the house need new life and new memories.

its terribly sad but children will breathe new life into it.

it sounds like a gift to you to be honest after all you’ve been through

I might set up an ironing/exorcism service and call it Deceased and Decreased.

You could wear a cassock and mutter psalms under your breath as you negotiated difficult collars.

It’s a plan. I’ll spray holy water on any particularly stubborn areas whilst cursing the folk who have over tumbled dried their sheets.

I see this being met with many offers of investment on Dragons’ Den.

someone took their life in my house - it was a friend of a friend, about 10 years ago. Other than being very sad, it doesn’t bother me. The house is 100 years old and has seen births, deaths and everything in between.

Peter Jones looks like a man who wouldn’t tolerate any spirit world shenanigans whilst also appreciating a crisp trouser crease.

Yes, Catholics do sometimes get their new houses blessed by priests, not just in cases where something tragic has happened. We also sometimes bless our own houses with holy water. And keep a small holy water font beside the door so we can bless ourselves entering and leaving.

Blessing is not the same thing as exorcism.

Catholic priests do bless haunted houses. It's not a 'movie' thing. They still perform exorcisms as well. All medical options must have been exhausted first. Interesting topic when you look past the hysteria