Would you buy this house? TW-suicide

[Consideringbuying]

I am a lone parent with 2 small kids and am almost through a fairly awful and dragged out divorce. The circumstances around the divorce were horrible for all of us and I'm so ready to be in a secure home and just move on from it all.

I'm (hopefully) going to be in a position to buy a house soon and there's a house has been up for sale for a couple of months round the corner from where we live. I love the area and have really liked living here. The house is much bigger and better than the one we're renting and is exactly what I'd be looking for. It's one of the nicer homes in the estate.

It's also significantly under my small budget and is about £40k under market value for other homes of the same size in the same estate. I've been told this is because the owner is wanting a quick sale however it's sat for a few months already (unheard of in this area) and was empty for about 2-3 years before that. The reason being that one of the adults in the home took their own life in the property a couple of years ago.

Initially when I heard I was a bit wary and wasn't sure if I'd want to buy somewhere that had held so much pain for the previous owners and where a traumatic death had occurred but the more I'm thinking about it I'm wondering if that's silly and I should go for it if it's still available when I'm ready?

Being so under budget would mean I could pay off earlier than anticipated and would financially be just massive for me under our current circumstances. It would also mean I'd be able to redecorate rather than having to live in it as is for a while and try to save. Its a fairly new build house too and homes in the area are well built and reliable.

The downside is that it's been empty for so long, and I'm wondering about the impact of the history of the house on my kids as its common knowledge what happened and they will probably be told at some point by friends on the street which could be upsetting for them.

So my albu:

Yabu - don't buy the house (please can you explain why you wouldn't)
Yanbu -I would buy or have bought under those circumstances before.

If you don’t ‘feel’ stuff/energy from houses, then you don’t. I do.

Isn’t it great that we’re all different?!

You’re just responding to the architecture/decor/ whatever story you’ve been told about it.

If the reason the house is undervalued is genuinely the suicide, then I would grab the opportunity with both hands and concentrate on filling the house with happy memories that will exorcise any metaphorical demons. Give any house long enough and bad things will happen there, but so will good things, and those count for double in my book.

Just make sure you get a survey to confirm that the real reason for the price isn't subsidence or anything more mundane but harder to deal with.

@Swiftie1878 I feel the same way. I’m usually a logical person and logic tells me that it’s just bricks and mortar. However, energy doesn’t disappear and my mind can’t get round the idea of living in a house where traumatic events have recently occurred. BUT thankfully, we are all quite different.

My perspective - I sold the house of a close relative a few years ago. My relative died in the house - not suicide, but everyone in the street was aware and it was quite traumatic.

I was very happy when the house was bought by a young family who have completely changed the house and made it their own. It feels like the house has been transformed and is once again the happy family home it should be.

Thank you for your insight into ‘me’!
I would never have known.

Yeah, it's just a house. Sad history but a huge proportion of UK houses will have some history of someone dying by whatever method.

Make the house a loved house and yourselves a happy home.

My favourite ever house was a 500 year old farmhouse. I can guarantee that all sorts of things have happened in that house, some good, some bad, some awful.

That is kind of the magic of old houses, their history and the feeling that we are only transient in them. Think of this house as starting out on its history, and make sure that your transition through it is a happy one. Balance out the energies, if you will.

Land itself has so much history. We're commuting to our jobs over areas where bloody battles were fought, where lives of intense poverty were lived, where horrific crimes were committed. We couldn't go out or be anywhere if we wanted to avoid crossing the lines of historical events that make us shudder. They're in the past. Only you can decide if you're ok with knowing the location of a specific sad moment, but they're all around us, along with moments of great joy.

Yes, I’d take it, make new memories. Reframe it in your mind that the person made a choice, it might not be a pretty choice but it was their decision to make.
I would feel differently about a murder.
If you are spiritual, burn sage and throw some holy water. 🫣

I wouldn't care less. Any house could've had someone die in it. Multiple people.

As long as there's no physical evidence left obviously.

My house is over 200 years old and before it was a house it was a grain store. I'd be amazed if it hadn't seen a tragedy or two at some point.

Make an offer you may get an even better deal - and to be honest I would snap it up if I were you. I live in an old house in which several people have died, most recently two family members (with a year or two in between these sad events). The history makes no difference - it's all about the atmosphere you and your family create in the house. If you love it, it will be fine.

Houses are just bricks and mortar in the end. Whenever you move, and see the rooms completely empty, it's plain they are simply that.
My husband killed himself in our house. I sold it soon afterwards in a private sale to a friend of the next door neighbour who knew what had happened there, the buyers weren't bothered and continue to live there decades later.

Buy it and quickly before someone else does!! What happened there in the past is nothing to do with you. Enjoy.

I would buy it but ask your local vicar to bless all of the rooms first.

It's just bricks and mortar, horrible things have happened in most houses, mine is 110 years old, God only knows what's happened here, I know the wife of the previous owner died here and her ashes are buried in the garden under the magnolia. Given the prevalence of DA without conviction most houses more than a few years old will have hosted something unpleasant purely by numbers alone. Buy the house, give it a new lease of life

Buy it. Let the house bring some joy into other people's lives.

I personally wouldnt (perhaps irrationally), esp if after ive been through a lot mentally /emotionally. i wouldnt want anything playing on my mind. Im a worrier, so id probably be worrying if the house is jinxed etc. But thats just me. Good luck with whatever you decide op x

I think it's a bit reductive to define someone's life by their death. Who knows how many lovely happy times they had there? What of the person who moves into your old family house? It sounds like it held a 'lot of pain for the previous owners...'

I have friends who live in a high rise where there have been several deaths - natural causes, unfortunate events and the occasional roof jumper.

There are no ghosts or ghoulies, a home is what you make it.

I would take advantage of the discount.

Buy it. We grew up in a haunted house where an old person had died but it was a friendly ghost. The dog didn’t like it though!

You’ll make the house your own and it will be fine and you’ll get a good price. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. Buy it, if you hate it then resell.

This is where I am a bit of a rubbish atheist because I do think houses carry energy and children pick up on it more than adults.

My parents bought a house with a similar history. Me and my siblings had lots of strange experiences in the house ranging from wierd to terrifying. Both me and my sister saw the figure of a woman and experienced the most oppressive feeling when we saw her. My parents felt the house was fine and told us about the woman when we were adults. The only time my DM experienced anything was the evening my parents split, all the lights in the house flashed and went off and stayed off until morning, all the niegbours had power. Us kids were so relieved to move!

We had a bad feeling from the house from the start, so maybe take your DCs to the viewing and get their honest opinion.

My house is a new build. It’s built directly upon where the morgue of a psychiatric hospital from the early 1900s used to be.

Death is a part of life. I wouldn’t let that put you off the house. That being said, if it’s something that will play on your mind a lot then leave it. You have to be happy living there.

OP, you haven’t even seen it?
Go see it!! You don’t know what you’re debating yet until you do. You may hate it, in which case, no problem. Or you’ll love it and you’ll find a way to be ok with the house’s past