Would you buy this house? TW-suicide

[Consideringbuying]

I am a lone parent with 2 small kids and am almost through a fairly awful and dragged out divorce. The circumstances around the divorce were horrible for all of us and I'm so ready to be in a secure home and just move on from it all.

I'm (hopefully) going to be in a position to buy a house soon and there's a house has been up for sale for a couple of months round the corner from where we live. I love the area and have really liked living here. The house is much bigger and better than the one we're renting and is exactly what I'd be looking for. It's one of the nicer homes in the estate.

It's also significantly under my small budget and is about £40k under market value for other homes of the same size in the same estate. I've been told this is because the owner is wanting a quick sale however it's sat for a few months already (unheard of in this area) and was empty for about 2-3 years before that. The reason being that one of the adults in the home took their own life in the property a couple of years ago.

Initially when I heard I was a bit wary and wasn't sure if I'd want to buy somewhere that had held so much pain for the previous owners and where a traumatic death had occurred but the more I'm thinking about it I'm wondering if that's silly and I should go for it if it's still available when I'm ready?

Being so under budget would mean I could pay off earlier than anticipated and would financially be just massive for me under our current circumstances. It would also mean I'd be able to redecorate rather than having to live in it as is for a while and try to save. Its a fairly new build house too and homes in the area are well built and reliable.

The downside is that it's been empty for so long, and I'm wondering about the impact of the history of the house on my kids as its common knowledge what happened and they will probably be told at some point by friends on the street which could be upsetting for them.

So my albu:

Yabu - don't buy the house (please can you explain why you wouldn't)
Yanbu -I would buy or have bought under those circumstances before.

We actually had a similar situation.

We loved the house and knew what had taken place there.

However, it turned out that my son was friends with the daughter through pre-school.

There’s no way I’d feel comfortable living in a house where I’d potentially have parties where the poor girl would have to attend. However, I’d have likely put an offer in if I didn’t know the family. I’m assuming old people dying in homes is pretty common and I don’t believe in ghosts. If you do, I’m assuming the man that took his life was troubled and hope that he is now at peace. I wish it would never have happened, in either of the houses, but I’d personally try to fill the home with happy memories.

Anyway, it sold fairly quickly- and the family deserve the world!

I grew up in an old house where all sorts had happened including according to one local legend a man through his wife down the stairs killing her. It was a long time ago and never bothered us.
My current house was bought from an estate and the last owner died there. Since then an ill family member moved in and died there as well. It is still our home.
The old wives tale says a house isn't a home until it has seen a birth, a marriage and a death. I personally think we get way too squeamish about these things.

Many houses have had someone die in them, you just don’t hear about it. It wouldn’t put me off at all.

It would be nice for the house to have its story changed from tragic to happy.

It would be nice for the vendors to get closure.

It also seems to tick all your boxes. Buy it!

I would buy it. It’s not the history of the house in my view; it’s the tragic story of a person who lived there who has now gone.

Someone was murdered in our first house and it was a bit eerie but it helped us get on the property ladder and start our family which was more important than the occasional spooky feeling.

Buy it and sage it!

My ds was accidentally born at my old house (didnt know i was pregnant and gave birth on the landing)
The old tenant had died in my lounge
The house im in now,the old owner died in my bedroom
Births,deaths and life in-between happen all the time
I wouldn't bother me at all-if I loved the house
I'd just make it my own

Dps aunt lives in a house thats over 500 years old (id love to live there) and she knows at least two people killed themselves there (and a lot of other births/deaths/life happened)
Shes not bothered about that at all-and I can honestly say there's nothing 'odd' about it
It's just a beautiful house (with the most amazing fireplace)

If you love the house,buy it!

All houses have a history. If my Nan were around, she'd want to buy the house and provide a lovely afterlife to any spirits who might be there! I am not a spiritualist, but I would buy and maybe have a little private moment to spare a thought for the person who lived their before, and then move on. Your kids may get comments at school so it's best to prepare something they can say in reply. If kids say "isn't that the house where x happened?" They could practice not giving answers that will prolong conversations, like "I don't know, we didn't know the person who lived there before". And just keep broken record-ing it.

It’s a no brainer. You buy the house. I would be interested as to why it’s so under value though, so get a good survey. It won’t be because of a quick sale or because someone took their own life there. Sorry

Every house that’s not brand new has the possibility of someone having died in it, some may have died ‘nicely’ some may have not. This wouldn’t factor into my decision making process at all, if it’s a good house, for the right budget and in the right place then snap it up.

It’s strange how we consider the history of a property we’re buying, but if we were renting it wouldn’t cross our minds what had gone on there previously.

I wouldn’t be put off. I think you should at least view it, and see how you feel once you’re in there.

I had the same dilemma as you . So I viewed the house and loved it and didn’t feel weird at all. Bought the property and have lived in it for 3 years and in my garage on the wall is a painted sign the wife of the gentleman who took his own life here had painted in his memory which I vowed to get rid of and still haven’t . I had moments when we moved in strange sounds etc ( as comes with getting used to a new property) and felt uneasy and had the “is this the beginning of the haunting” moments. It was all in my head . It lasted a little while but now I don’t even think about it unless I go into the garage and that’s still housing unopened moving in boxes 😂.so not very often at all. It’s just a house and if you view it and it feels good I would definitely go for it ! No regrets for me 😁. If you have a list of pros and cons and that’s the only con then I think you’d be mad not to.

Many of us live in period properties where it is likely that some sad and bad things happened over the decades or that previous owners died in the house.

It would not bother me at all to buy this house. If you are superstitious you can always do a little cleansing ceremony with sage when you move in if you decide to buy the house :).

Well, there’s a difference in that if you buy somewhere, you’re concerned about anything that affects resale value. If you buy a house with a high-profile crime or a sad death attached to it cheaply, will it still be difficult to sell in five years?

Yes I would. The tragedy belongs to the family and friends who lost their loved one, not the building it happened in.

I think I'd go for a more in-depth survey, since it's been empty for a few years. (I'd be looking for damp etc rather than ectoplasm...) It's definitely worth going for if it's still in good condition and a bonus if it's comfortably within budget.

The history wouldn't bother me much, it's very sad but sad things happen all over the earth all the time. The vast, vast majority of tragic events are unknown to uninvolved people and tbh when I buy a house I'm aware that it's probably had awful things happen within the walls. That's just the nature of humans really. It's really unlikely that you'll find somewhere that never has had any tragedies; even new builds are created on old earth.

I would buy it.

Unless its a new build and you are the first occupants, all houses have history.

Our house is a very very old cottage and we don't know the full history of the people who have lived here in the past but I imagine its seen its fair share of tragedy, death and unhappiness in its time.

Its bricks and mortar at the end of the day and despite its past it can be a real happy secure home for you and your children and you will fill it with happiness and good vibes.

My move would be - buy the house, get a mass said for the person who killed themselves, get the house blessed (room by room).

i wouldn’t think twice about buying purely because someone took their own life. If you don’t want a house someone has died in that’s going to limit your choices so much.

I would be surprised if that fact alone is why it’s still on the market, there’s always someone who isn’t bothered, especially if it’s as nice a house as you say. I’m more concerned about the fact it’s been empty for so long - houses need to be lived in and have TLC, regardless of its age that’s a long time for things to start going wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised if you get a survey done you’ll find something significant which explains the difficulty selling and the huge reduction in price.

as to the impact on your kids - you’re in control of that, explain it to them in an age appropriate way. Suicide is sadly common, they’re just as likely to hear about it at school

I’m in a 1950s house. The last owner but one died in the kitchen. Didn’t put us off, unless it’s a new build people will most likely have died in the house be it tragic circumstances or natural.

This.
My brother killed himself in my childhood home nearly 40 years ago. I’d already moved out, but my Mum stayed another 15 years, before moving to be near me. That house holds many memories, but I absolutely don’t associate it with my brother’s suicide. Memories of him and thoughts of his suffering are in my mind, not in a building. There’s nothing of him there.

OP picture this scenario. You don’t buy the house, but instead you buy one nearby, that’s more expensive and not as nice. Another family buy the one you’re considering, and your kids become friends with them, and you visit, and see what a lovely happy home it is . And they have lots of spare cash because they have a small mortgage. How would you feel then?!!

This.

I bought a house I thought was creepy. Had two restless nights and after that never thought about it again.

A bigger problem is that it's been left empty for 3 years that could have caused all kinds of problems. Is the OP sure there aren't more tangible reasons for the bargain price that she hasn't spotted? Seems too good to be true.

You will be kicking yourself when the house sells to another person. Snap it up, 40% is a lot of money. You move in and make it your own.

We have a notorious murder house nearby. They get reporters knocking on anniversaries of the case. I wouldn't like that at all.

People die everywhere. It wouldn't bother me at all.