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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you buy this house? TW-suicide

204 replies

Consideringbuying · 03/04/2026 22:27

I am a lone parent with 2 small kids and am almost through a fairly awful and dragged out divorce. The circumstances around the divorce were horrible for all of us and I'm so ready to be in a secure home and just move on from it all.

I'm (hopefully) going to be in a position to buy a house soon and there's a house has been up for sale for a couple of months round the corner from where we live. I love the area and have really liked living here. The house is much bigger and better than the one we're renting and is exactly what I'd be looking for. It's one of the nicer homes in the estate.

It's also significantly under my small budget and is about £40k under market value for other homes of the same size in the same estate. I've been told this is because the owner is wanting a quick sale however it's sat for a few months already (unheard of in this area) and was empty for about 2-3 years before that. The reason being that one of the adults in the home took their own life in the property a couple of years ago.

Initially when I heard I was a bit wary and wasn't sure if I'd want to buy somewhere that had held so much pain for the previous owners and where a traumatic death had occurred but the more I'm thinking about it I'm wondering if that's silly and I should go for it if it's still available when I'm ready?

Being so under budget would mean I could pay off earlier than anticipated and would financially be just massive for me under our current circumstances. It would also mean I'd be able to redecorate rather than having to live in it as is for a while and try to save. Its a fairly new build house too and homes in the area are well built and reliable.

The downside is that it's been empty for so long, and I'm wondering about the impact of the history of the house on my kids as its common knowledge what happened and they will probably be told at some point by friends on the street which could be upsetting for them.

So my albu:

Yabu - don't buy the house (please can you explain why you wouldn't)
Yanbu -I would buy or have bought under those circumstances before.

OP posts:
Elanol · 04/04/2026 08:02

You need to see for yourself how it feels. Take the children if you can as well. See how they take to it.

I don't think I could live there. Given the asking price, it seems no one else has wanted to either.

The previous owner of my parent's house died there of natural causes. I hate the house, it's always felt really creepy. 50 years later I still can't relax there alone, even during the day. My parents aren't bothered.

JumpinJehoshaphat · 04/04/2026 08:06

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I’m not sure why it would be an issue for anyone. There’s nothing different about the house because of what happened. It hasn’t ‘absorbed’ anything or been tainted.

We live in a very old house. I’d actually love to know about all the people that have undoubtedly died here.

PS - do people really believe burning a bit of sage helps?

LottieMary · 04/04/2026 08:06

Buy the house. Make it beautiful and happy.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 04/04/2026 08:07

Getupat8amnow · 03/04/2026 23:13

Next door but one to our old house the dad of the family that lived there hung himself in the back garden right by the back door. The family moved out soon afterwards. The house has been lived in by the new family for years now, over fifteen years, most people dont know or remember his suicide. Buy the house and fill it with good feelings and memories.

Edited

There’s a house in our street where the dad of his family hung himself in the house. 2-3 years on they still live there, with the mum’s mum. Not sure I could do that.

southcoastsammy · 04/04/2026 08:08

Consideringbuying · 03/04/2026 22:32

My kids are very young. So partly thinking they wouldn't know for a while at which point maybe it'll be old enough news not to come up...

It’s a house - go for it! My house is 200 years old, so god knows how many people have lived and died in it… been born in it
too.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 04/04/2026 08:09

A few years ago my parents were looking to buy a holiday home in France. I recall my DM telling me that one house in particular was really creepy, had hooks and everything (farm buildings?), my DM is a bit woo though, they didn’t buy the house.

1980isitjustme · 04/04/2026 08:10

There’s a house near me where a guy was tortured and killed about 4 years ago - drug/gang related. It’s been for sale ever since. I feel pretty sorry for whoever owns it as they bought it as a new build to rent out and had only been renting it out to the guy who was killed for a couple of months. Loads of others on the same estate have changed hands so I can only assume there’s a bad vibe to the house.

Go and see the house, you’ll soon know whether it has a feel about it and whether it’s an option for you.

Myneighbourisanosyoldgit · 04/04/2026 08:15

My bitchy elderly neighbour took great delight in telling me they had found the previous occupant dead in my new home, it was an older person laying on the floor. We already knew but were fine with it, I worked as a Marie Curie nurse for years so was pretty immune to such things.
I said "Oh that's sad, but it happens and we're okay with it aren't we h?" She took on the face of a slapped arse. It was an absolute picture😀
We are still here in the same place 15 years later and very happy.
You make it your own home with your own memories.

Dollymylove · 04/04/2026 08:16

Yes buy it. Ask a local priest to come round and bless the house

redlorryyello · 04/04/2026 08:19

My son died by suicide in our home. We moved out but stayed close by and our landlord (and good friend) was open with us about the fact that he didn’t want a family with kids living there. It sounds quite cold reading it back but we really didn’t take it in that way.
His son had our son’s bedroom before we lived there and he has some mental health issues and is not a happy man. To be honest, I didn’t want a family with kids living there in case there was bad energy in that bedroom.
Anyway, a family with two young boys moved in (they actually hid the fact they had young kids). They seem really happy in the house, but I do feel terribly guilty about the fact that they don’t know. And I really wanted to tell them not to put the boys in the back bedroom but realised that would make me sound crazy.

RedRosesforthewin · 04/04/2026 08:19

We bought a house from an extremely elderly lady who I know died here- it doesn’t bother me in the slightest and I actually enjoyed finding out from neighbours how wonderful she was- they saved from the house clearance the original purchase documents for me so I have her list of pros and cons when purchasing the house in the 60’s.

Whilst not a traumatic death, viewing it was very odd as all her things had been left as if she had stepped out but 12 years down the line the house is unrecognisable I honestly don’t think about it and it doesn’t bother me.

I think this could be a hugely positive for you and your children and that is the perfect closure to the history of the house.

Good luck OP!

Seashor · 04/04/2026 08:25

We bought a house with exactly the same history. It was absolutely fine.

Paisleybuddy · 04/04/2026 08:28

I’d buy it. I’m sure there are lots of houses that people have bought and have no idea what went on in there.

DallazMajor · 04/04/2026 08:30

Is the 40k reduction because of the history of the house ? It seems a lot to slash from the price which makes me think there is more to it.

Myneighbourisanosyoldgit · 04/04/2026 08:30

I wondered about the £40k slash too.

FeelingSadToday1 · 04/04/2026 08:32

I would be more worried if it’s been empty for a long time. Somebody having died there wouldn’t bother me. My partner lost his wife to cancer and she died at home. His house is currently for sale (years later) and he doesn’t feel the need to have to tell anybody about it.

lemonraspberry · 04/04/2026 08:36

Buy the house, make it your own. Maybe plant a tree or plant in recognition of the past. Many houses have had deaths in them, violence, etc. That is a reflections of the actions of a person, not the property.

FartyAnimal · 04/04/2026 08:39

Any house that is a few years old (mine was built in 1890) has probably had deaths in it. Don't worry about it x

PersephoneParlormaid · 04/04/2026 08:40

There are two houses in my village where people have taken their own lives, one particularly awful situation, and both houses are now being lived in.
You can make happy memories, don’t let it hold you back.

LlynTegid · 04/04/2026 08:41

I'd buy in your shoes and think about how you would explain it to your DC if ever it is mentioned.

DreamingOfGeneHunt · 04/04/2026 08:47

I would. I grew up in a very old house, people had died in it. My brothers were born in it!

Didimum · 04/04/2026 08:47

I don’t attach meaning to objects in that way – certainly not negative ones. It’s wasteful, irrational and you’d be talking yourself out of an immensely positive financial move because of bad ‘juju’. Bad things have happened everywhere on earth. We move forwards.

tommyhoundmum · 04/04/2026 08:49

The first day I moved into my flat the local friendly children told me the previous owner had died in my bedroom. She was an old lady and they were helpfully just giving me the only information they had about the house. 50 years later when I see my old neighbours I tease them about that day.

Creu · 04/04/2026 08:53

I can normally be quite sensitive to stuff like this, but in this scenario absolutely not. Buy the house. Give yourself and your children a bit of financial freedom and somewhere new to start.

I hope you get the house and can start happy memories in it.

Thst being said, I would be more interested in the process reduction and the impact of it being empty for so long.

jeaux90 · 04/04/2026 08:58

OP buy the house. As a lone parent I would say take every financial opportunity you have. People die in their homes all the time. My house is bloody ancient so I would think many people have died here. Just go for it.