Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child given money by "Vicar" at school

806 replies

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
worldshottestmom · 03/04/2026 20:54

If this is real, obviously call the school. Adults asking children to keep secrets from other adults is predatory behaviour.

PurplePantsofPower · 03/04/2026 20:54

They're either dodgy or have very poor judgement and either way you should definitely let the school know. Any adult working with children should know better and both gifting in this way and secrets are totally out of order.

ForPinkDuck · 03/04/2026 20:55

Your totally right. Tell the school.

User79853257976 · 03/04/2026 20:55

Yes definitely report it and praise your daughter for telling you.

worldsgonemadnow · 03/04/2026 20:55

That is classic grooming behaviour. REPORT, REPORT, REPORT!!

ExtraOnions · 03/04/2026 20:55

Was it Maundy Money? TBF, if it was I would have expected it not to be a secret

Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:56

worldshottestmom · 03/04/2026 20:54

If this is real, obviously call the school. Adults asking children to keep secrets from other adults is predatory behaviour.

It's definitely real, I was quite shocked when she produced the fiver out of her pocket.

OP posts:
PinkCatCushion · 03/04/2026 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PonyPatter44 · 03/04/2026 20:57

It's not going to be Maundy Money - that's not secret, and it's given by the king! Definitely report this to the school, and tell your DD that she's a brilliant girl for telling you.

Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:57

ExtraOnions · 03/04/2026 20:55

Was it Maundy Money? TBF, if it was I would have expected it not to be a secret

This is what's bothering me the most, my daughter said no one else got money and the line about "keep it between me and you" really made me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Original poster
TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

To be honest I have questioned her to make sure she's not lying about it, she's absolutely adamant.

OP posts:
OhFuckyNell · 03/04/2026 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NaiceCupOTea · 03/04/2026 20:59

No no no. Red flags everywhere with this. She should not be asked to keep this a secret, and if she was the only one given money, this is a serious safe-guarding concern in relation to grooming.

Report it to the school asap. In writing and ask for an up-date as to what action was taken.

graceinspace999 · 03/04/2026 20:59

worldshottestmom · 03/04/2026 20:54

If this is real, obviously call the school. Adults asking children to keep secrets from other adults is predatory behaviour.

Be suspicious and call school. Child safety comes first.

Secrets between adult strangers and kids is extremely dodgy.

GardenCovent · 03/04/2026 21:01

The fact it was given on Thursday may well make it Maunday Money but if she was the only one to get it and told to keep it a secret I’d def be contacting the school

catipuss · 03/04/2026 21:02

I might go straight to telling the police, this is not OK.

Tacohill · 03/04/2026 21:02

It may have been said in a way that meant not tell the other children but I would definitely speak to the school and clarify for your own peace of mind.

heloobyeee111111111 · 03/04/2026 21:04

Reminds me when I was in primary school and the teaching assistant was leaving and she sat next to me and said she was given me her home number and no one else and not to tell anyone. It was very weird she must of been in her mid twenties. I never told anyone about it because I thought I was her favourite but looking back it’s odd. Let your daughter know well done for telling you.

StripyHorse · 03/04/2026 21:05

Tell the school.

In the unlikely event that it is Maundy money, the school will be able to clear that up.

Adults should not be giving pupils in their care money, and certainly not asking them to keep it secret.

GloriaHeeler · 03/04/2026 21:05

Tacohill · 03/04/2026 21:02

It may have been said in a way that meant not tell the other children but I would definitely speak to the school and clarify for your own peace of mind.

That’s still not OK. We don’t even tell the dc in our school to keep their Mother’s Day cards a secret. Never mind a fiver from a bloke who was visiting the school.

Raindropskeepfallingon · 03/04/2026 21:06

Contact the school, ask to make a safeguarding report - if what your daughter said happened is accurate it needs addressing.

Not only should the Vicar/visitor not have given her anything, he shouldn’t have been in a position to be giving her anything if he was there leading collective worship - he should be supervised and the children supervised by their teacher. I can’t quite picture how someone leading collective worship could secretively give a child money unless it was a ill-judged prize or something, but that would’ve been in front of staff not a secret.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/04/2026 21:07

Tell the school and contact the safeguarding lead of the church if you know which church it is, the contact info for the church staff will be on their website. If it’s as she described it’s massively dodgy and needs addressing asap. It’s good she told you, you’ve done a good job as her mum.

MyTrivia · 03/04/2026 21:07

Very weird and inappropriate. And asking her to keep a secret? Hell no…

LayaM · 03/04/2026 21:08

Tell the school and also Google your local LADO and report to them, as this is someone working or volunteering with children.

I can well believe this happened, it's absolutely classic grooming.

MeSeM · 03/04/2026 21:10

TakeALookAtTheseSwatches · 03/04/2026 20:51

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

I'm sorry to hear this & the bit which naturally concern me most is
"this is just between me & you"
Why does it need to be a secret, so alarm bells would understandably ring
⏰ 🚩 ⏰
When I was a little girl, there was an elderly gentleman who always gave me money, after church, on Sunday Mornings ~ The big difference was, he loud & proudly gave me the money, in front of my Mum, Brother & sometimes dad if he was there) So of course, this was no secret to anyone ~
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost best