Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

Yes, I have to say I was assuming C of E, but that's easily checked. Someone must know who this person is.

Wouldn't the names of the vicar and curate(s) be on the parish website?

Thanks for that info.

However, I think £5 is rather a lot of money to allow a child to keep ?

I've never heard of it in C of E or Catholic churches either.

Right. That makes it a bit clearer then. You know who to contact and you have a name.

Also, they wouldn't tell the child to keep it secret.

Do you spend a lot of time in churches or watching children's object lessons?

I don't know what's gone on here any more than anybody else does, but I was raising it as a realistic possibility rather than jumping straight to grooming.

I would presume it was a Easter money thing and a sont tell your parents so you can spend it on yourself type thing same as my grandparents did for me yes no relation but it was when I was young so back when there was no conspiracy in everything like these days

This above and definitely not Maundy Money, the King gave that out in St Asaph yesterday and it's not coins of the realm or notes.

I go to church and have been involved in kids work in the past. The church is very up to date with safeguarding, no vicar would fail to know that this was totally inappropriate. Definitely report.

I would ask more questions before diving in. It may well be true, in which case the school need to be aware. But, at this age my daughter started to tell lies, she could steal and lie bare faced. She once told the teacher her Dad had beaten her, but they realised it was a fib when she described him doing a round house kick on her.

she grew out of it, but it was crappy as I had to question everything she said for a few years. It stopped around 9/10. She is a teen now and showing clear signs of autism which she has masked until a couple of years ago, not sure if she had been lying as part of that.

Anyway, just ask questions before leaping to conclusions.

I've never seen or been involved with a children's Object Lesson. I had never heard of them until tonight.

However, I understand that the school is C of E and that is not taught (as far as I am aware)in their schools.

It’s the saying “just between you and me” that’s the issue

i know what you mean by the “old Irish grandad type” as my children seem to get given money at random by older people at the football/on the bus or whatever but the difference is they will say to me “is it ok if I give her” or they’ll do it in front of me perfectly openly and kindly -

giving money to one kid in a group and telling them to keep it quiet is… not ok. even if well meaning and thought maybe the child wouldn’t get any Easter treats and was trying to be kind, surely - if you were visiting a school - you’d day to staff afterwards “is it ok to give some cash so you can make sure everyone gets some chocolate” not give a fiver to a random child?!

mine finished yesterday. NE England.

definitely report OP

Reading that made me very uncomfortable. Absolutely report.

Already established.

It's a classic grooming line, isn't it?
What's one of the most basic rules? No "secrets".

Yes! Yes you should.

Id be less concerned about the money than the allegation an adult told my little one to keep secrets.

Id be speaking to the diocese/pastoral care/whatever in the church too

Object lessons are a huge part of children's ministries and are used in Anglican and Roman Catholic churches, as well as in outreach from both of those churches. Almost every children's talk in any Christian ministry involves an object lesson of some kind. Maybe you haven't heard them called that before, but if you've been to church, been to an assembly at a faith school or witnessed any kind of outreach aimed at children, it's almost certain you'll have seen an object lesson.

🙄

Don't shout at her.

No bloody secrets between children and adults. Report and get her far away from him.

I don’t blame OP for wanting to prove it, TBH. It’s obvious what people are trying to infer.

I agree with the above. You need to raise it somehow. Shame the school is going to be closed. That would be the obvious way to go. Do you have any contacts in the church?

Back in the 1990s when my two DC were in preschool, they were making Mother's Day cards and told to keep it a secret. I actually had to point out to the staff that that was a line used by paedophiles. They looked surprised as if it had never occurred to them! They did acknowledge I was correct though.

Did your daughter show you the £5 @TakeALookAtTheseSwatches?

I'm a teacher and HTs will be definitely monitoring emails. The school will log it as an incident onCPOMs and tge safeguarding lead will follow it up and refer it on as necessary.