Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

Our school and most schools in our area broke up end of day Thursday. It's not a religious school either.

Do you mean 101?

I would email the school or ideally the headteacher directly. Most headteachers I know do monitor their inbox over the holidays (many still attend things like safeguarding meetings, particularly in small schools with no pastoral lead!) so they may see the email and get back to you.

As PP have said, also contact the LADO in your area to report the incident and tell the school you have done this.

Diocese will brush it under the carpet as a none-event, which it is not.

With the amount of child abuse we see from religious bodies I would contact school and the police .

Maybe this “vicar” is under the misapprehension that your daughter comes from a poor family and as such cannot afford Easter treats.
So he gave her the £5 out of being charitable and asked her not to say anything because obviously he couldn’t do it for everyone - nor did he want to embarrass your poor family.
I mean - that could happen, it’s entirely possible and plausible.
Many things are plausible that are not unseemly.
It’s sad that in today’s world, the first thing we jump to is something evil or wrong or bad - instead of at least waiting for an explanation.
Everybody is a perv, a rapist, a child molester.
And I was raped at 16 by the town mayor - still, I know that not everyone is as evil and horrible as he was.

I agree.

If this is a C of E school then there is only one vicar that goes in for Collective Worship and that is the Vicar of the Church that the school is attached to.

So the child should have seen this person before.

If the individual was a Vicar-in-training ie a Curate, then he would not be sent in alone. The 'attached' Vicar would have brought him in and introduced him to the children saying, "this is Jo Bloggs who is my Curate and he will be taking you for collective worship today".

Also I can't understand why a Vicar/Curate would want to visit a school on Maundy Thurday ? This is one of the busiest times in the Church's year in the run-up to Easter and time would be at a premium at the 'attached' Church.
There is preparation to be done for the Feetwashing service, stripping of the altar and the Easter Vigil.

I would certainly report this to the school ASAP.

Lets get to the facts before you rush to judgement.

This made me feel uneasy! Maybe harmless but telling her to keep it between them has given me the creeps!

😬it would make me uneasy.

I work in a school. If you were to email a member of staff in the holidays you would get an out off office reply with a link saying who to contact with urgent safeguarding concerns. That email address is always monitored, even in holiday, so it's possible that your daughters school may have the same? If not senior staff will probably be checking their emails so contact the head.

Ring up the church and ask to speak to the Vicar not the trainee and ask what on earth is going on. No it's not appropriate at all.

I would definitely speak to the school but I wouldn’t contact the police. It definitely needs looking into but I don’t think an actual crime has been committed. I would also contact any mum friends from the class just to check that it wasn’t actually some sort of prize or whole class thing, or whether their child remembers your daughter telling them about it

Sorry, I clicked the wrong button but YANBU. This just doesn't sit right and definitely bring it up with the school.

Send an email. I’m a teacher annd we often work in the holidays and I know my head monitors the office and her email address over the holiday.

I agree.
If it happened during collective worship then others would have seen this, so I think more information is required to ascertain exactly who this person was.

Yes this, report to the school and to the safeguarding person in the church

hopefully there is a really sensible, reasonable, appropriate explanation (please god)

i know a lot if old Irish grandad types who give kids money but a vicar should have had training not to do that- ever

I think there are threads to be unpicked but surely it’s a bit knee jerk reaction to call police or church? Maybe it’s me but everyone seems to be looking for the dodgy explanation for this behaviour rather than the innocent or stupid. No one is in imminent danger

What is an old Irish grandad type while we’re at home??

Contact the safeguarding officer for the diocese. You can google it.
Explain what your daughter said. It’s worth telling them you aren’t clear who exactly the the church person was (just so they don’t accidentally go for the wrong person!). They will be open or will have an emergency number to ring. Our diocese has a charity which provides out of hours cover. Some do this in house.
They will be able to find out who the person was and take further action if needed including the police.

You could also ring the police. But I suspect the diocese may well act faster and more thoroughly .

Absolutely not op, I'd be on the phone to the school to report this immediately. It's beyond inappropriate and a very clear breach of safeguarding particularly the just between me and you part. I work in safeguarding and this is classic grooming. You also need to have a very clear conversation that adults and older kids don't have secrets with younger kids ever and if they ever give a gift she needs to come and tell you straight away. I'd also tell her that if anyone ever gives her a yucky feeling in her tummy even if she's not sure why, she's to tell you.

no you don't conduct your own investigation

this could seriously jeopardise any real investigation

you leave it to the trained professionals- tell the school and safeguarding person in the church

Not true. All our school were running in my area. My som is a teacher.

You can email the headteacher even in holiday time. Sounds very misguided whoever this person was and as a minimum they'll need reminding of how to behave in school settings and professionally. It's worth finding out who the person in , because some will be attached to free churches or not the usual c of e or catholic, particularly if the school isn't a church school.
As others have said, if you wish you can also notify LADO (contactable through your local authority website) or ring 101 and ask for advice.
It's possible it was given as a prize of some kind, but the school will be able to clarify the circumstances for you.

My children go to a CoE school. There are multiple people from multiple churches involved in collective worship at all sorts of points. There is one vicar at the attached CoE church, but there’s also been curates from there and leaders of other local churches of other denominations in school leading assemblies - all of whom my young child might call “a vicar”, not knowing the differences.

And my local CoE church does not have a feet washing service or an Easter vigil and the table at the front of church looks no different to how it usually does. Not saying they aren’t busy, but I’m not sure you can extrapolate from your church to all of them.