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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping a 3 bedroom council house when your children have grown up

1000 replies

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:41

Just pondering - what are everyone’s opinions on a single parent raising their children in a council house/housing association house and staying there once their children have moved out? Should they downsize into a one bed flat/smaller property or is it their right to remain in their home/neighbourhood?

Added extra - they have looked after the property well, have landscaped the garden, installed a new kitchen and generally added value to the property.

OP posts:
Notjustabrunette · 03/04/2026 08:51

Bumblebeeforever · 03/04/2026 07:49

Why on earth would someone pay for a new kitchen in a house they don’t own? Legally they can stay there but as they don’t own it and there aren’t enough council houses then morally I don’t think they should, I don’t think it’s the same as someone who owns their own home not wanting to move.

Because the council won’t replace the kitchen and if you want a nice one, you have to pay for it yourself. With council houses, it’s a secured tenancy, so you can’t be forced to leave.

trainkeepsgoing · 03/04/2026 08:52

They should downsize if there is a suitable place available so a family who needs the space can move in.

KitsyWitsy · 03/04/2026 08:53

neveradullmoment99 · 03/04/2026 08:48

Absolutely this. This thread is disgusting.

They are people who for whatever reason do not own their homes. They are relying on taxpayer's assistance to live indirectly. So no, they don't have the right to just have a particular home for life. If they want to be subsidised, then they have to adjust and take what is given.

I own my house (outright) but have lived in numerous council properties myself when I was young. It doesn't change my view that the property should suit the person/family.

bigfacthunter · 03/04/2026 08:53

When you are older and retire this is often when you need the support and social input from neighbours most. Imagine being forced to move to a new neighbourhood after embedding yourself in a community for so many years.

No we don’t have enough social housing but older people who have lived in their homes for decades aren’t to blame. We need to look at capping private rents, building more social housing, obliterating air bnb/short term lets, and taxing the shit out of second homes.

GivesYourHosieryaFright · 03/04/2026 08:53

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:50

How are the tax payer funding that person? People in council houses and housing association homes pay rent like everyone else and a lot work full time.

Council tenants do not pay full market rent, so they are benefiting from a subsidy paid for by taxpayers.

WorkCleanRepeat · 03/04/2026 08:53

In an ideal world they would buy it or move. The discount they get covers the deposit. Its not like they even have to save it.

The secure tenancies means they are perfectly entitled to stay and pay a subsidised rent as long as they like though.

Choosos · 03/04/2026 08:54

neveradullmoment99 · 03/04/2026 08:48

Absolutely this. This thread is disgusting.

how? Some people in council homes seem to have a victim complex probably because fifty years ago or whatever it meant you were poor if you lived in one that’s why you get z list celebs using merely growing up in a council council house as their sob story.

Times have changed if you live in a council house now you’re living life on easy mode, cheap rent, repairs done for free, secure tenancy. You can go on fb home swappers and just scroll through finding someone to swap with, no stamp duty.

BeebeeBoyle · 03/04/2026 08:54

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:50

How are the tax payer funding that person? People in council houses and housing association homes pay rent like everyone else and a lot work full time.

Rent is very much lower than private renting, hence the huge waiting list. The taxpayer subsidises council house tenants.

OhBotherSaidPoo · 03/04/2026 08:54

Bumblebeeforever · 03/04/2026 07:49

Why on earth would someone pay for a new kitchen in a house they don’t own? Legally they can stay there but as they don’t own it and there aren’t enough council houses then morally I don’t think they should, I don’t think it’s the same as someone who owns their own home not wanting to move.

Because councils replace kitchens once every 30 years, and most people don't want to live in a home with things falling apart around them.

Lomonald · 03/04/2026 08:55

KitsyWitsy · 03/04/2026 08:53

They are people who for whatever reason do not own their homes. They are relying on taxpayer's assistance to live indirectly. So no, they don't have the right to just have a particular home for life. If they want to be subsidised, then they have to adjust and take what is given.

I own my house (outright) but have lived in numerous council properties myself when I was young. It doesn't change my view that the property should suit the person/family.

Ah the old" I lived in a council house" trope, good job your parents had a secure home for you eh, again where have people to go are you also one of these "worker harder " people?

OhBotherSaidPoo · 03/04/2026 08:56

BeebeeBoyle · 03/04/2026 08:54

Rent is very much lower than private renting, hence the huge waiting list. The taxpayer subsidises council house tenants.

Only those claiming benefits.
Councils charge cost rent, they aren't allowed to profit.
In many cases, the buildings have long been paid for and they use those rents to balance the newer properties.

Nottodaty · 03/04/2026 08:56

My Nana had one of the largest council houses, once all the eldest moved out she down sized to a two bedroom (in theory 3 bedroom with dining room)

She would up keep the home, painting etc She had a beautiful garden.Overtime she downsized again for a bungalow. Exactly the same as my other grandparents who sold the family house and downsized to a bungalow, as has my own Mum now.

Even though she has seen these as her homes and had bought her family up she was once that homeless Mum with 5 children and needed a home, which was provided for her. She wanted to make sure she didn’t stop that happening for another Mum.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 03/04/2026 08:56

My best friend’s mum lived in a 3 bedroom council house and when she retired she swapped for a bungalow by the sea which she bought under right to buy. All her ties to her original area had gone.

My other best friend lives in a 3 bedroom council house, her DC have now left home but she’s done a lot to the place, new kitchen, new flooring, well kept garden. She got this house in a swap from a flat when her daughter was a toddler and son a baby. I don’t see why she should move, she lives there with her partner.

InterestedDad37 · 03/04/2026 08:56

I grew up in council housing. They're there to cater for need. One person theoretically doesn't need the house once the kids have left.

Lomonald · 03/04/2026 08:57

Choosos · 03/04/2026 08:54

how? Some people in council homes seem to have a victim complex probably because fifty years ago or whatever it meant you were poor if you lived in one that’s why you get z list celebs using merely growing up in a council council house as their sob story.

Times have changed if you live in a council house now you’re living life on easy mode, cheap rent, repairs done for free, secure tenancy. You can go on fb home swappers and just scroll through finding someone to swap with, no stamp duty.

What are you talking about!

Superhansrantowindsor · 03/04/2026 08:57

Given the national shortage of council properties , I think the council should offer alternative accommodation and help with moving costs. They need to build more flats though. My mother has a lovely one bed council flat which is perfect for her as she gets older. I’m so glad she doesn’t have to clean a family home anymore or deal with a garden. I’m no sure forcing people out is right but something needs to be done.

YellowBlueStar · 03/04/2026 08:57

PlattyCat · 03/04/2026 08:44

My great aunt is in a four bedroom house (technically five as there are two front rooms). She's lived there 50+ years. She has been on the waiting list to swap to a one bedroom bungalow or ground floor flat for 8 years. We telephone thecouncil so many times to see if we can hurry the process along but they don't give a crap about freeing up her house for someone more in need.

This is exactly what happened to my mum. She was desperate to move from a three bed house to a bungalow/flat especially as her mobility became poor and she was struggling with stairs. We honestly thought that the council would jump at the chance of having her house to home a family but she had to wait for three years before they did. Everytime she applied for a bungalow/flat, she was told she was low priority and someone else needed it more than her.

ForNoisyCat · 03/04/2026 08:58

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:50

How are the tax payer funding that person? People in council houses and housing association homes pay rent like everyone else and a lot work full time.

but housing association and council rents are subsidised by government (ie taxpayers) so the rents are much cheaper than private rents.

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 08:58

The system is broken. Obviously people won’t move if they don’t have to, they’ve got used to the space and subsidised rent. Council housing should go to those in need like any other benefit, not be some kind of lifetime lottery win. Lifetime tenancies need to be fully abolished and replaced by a 5 year maximum. Right to buy needs to be abolished. More retirement flats and one beds need to be built if that’s the blocker to people moving, but I suspect it’s often that people who “want to downsize” are holding out for some perfect little bungalow.

Choosos · 03/04/2026 08:58

Lomonald · 03/04/2026 08:57

What are you talking about!

I just said what I’m talking about… can you read?

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 03/04/2026 08:59

Oh I also know someone, friend, who lives in a 2 bedroom maisonette, she’s in her 50s. She could have bought if her mum’s will was more favourable to her (she cared for her in her final years) but siblings vetoed that. She has a son, DIL and grandson, both live independently in bought property.

Itslikesowhatever · 03/04/2026 08:59

Choosos · 03/04/2026 08:27

Go on facebook and join a home swappers group, there are tons families in two beds looking for three beds.

If it’s a single person they wouldn’t be allowed to move to a 2 bed only a one bed and there isn’t many around.

Alcoholtakingherlife · 03/04/2026 09:01

The council I work for do incentives to entice people to move to a smaller occupancy home. The person does get pushed up the list and offered the nicer areas as they have the collateral to bargain with.

Perfect28 · 03/04/2026 09:01

They should be made to downsize. In fact their requirements to even have a council property should be reexamined, I fail to see how this is in the slightest bit fair.

5128gap · 03/04/2026 09:01

ImLeavingWalford · 03/04/2026 08:44

I agree. So it should be a forced move across the board.

I have seen tenancy agreements that have a clause about under occupying and the LAs right to relocate tenants to a more suitable property in accordance with their changing needs (whilst still retaining the life time tenancy) which I think achieves a balance between offering housing security and managing stock in accordance with local need.

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