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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping a 3 bedroom council house when your children have grown up

1000 replies

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:41

Just pondering - what are everyone’s opinions on a single parent raising their children in a council house/housing association house and staying there once their children have moved out? Should they downsize into a one bed flat/smaller property or is it their right to remain in their home/neighbourhood?

Added extra - they have looked after the property well, have landscaped the garden, installed a new kitchen and generally added value to the property.

OP posts:
Thechaseison71 · 03/04/2026 12:38

HyacinthsAndPeonies · 03/04/2026 07:51

It's their home but it's provided by the council for their needs. As they no longer need such a large property I think they definitely should be moved to something smaller. There will be larger families on the waiting list for a house and the council has a duty to find them something suitable. If the tenant has spent their money changing a home they don't own then that's their lookout (same as renting).

I know someone (adult) who had to leave their council house when the person whose name it was in (their parent) died. It was really soon after the funeral too.

Did they not introduce a 'bedroom tax' for unused rooms in council houses?

Bedroom tax is only for those on benefits. And besides sometimes smaller places are more expensive

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 12:39

1457bloom · 03/04/2026 12:33

Because, social housing is in very short supply so should be allocated to people in desperate need such as the homeless, not couples who are both working. I have heard it all now.

You don't know the first thing about SH. My mum and dad were allocated their council house in the 70s due to the slum clearance of the house some of us grew up in. They both worked.

Don't worry though because they are both dead now and the house went to another family.

Kirbert2 · 03/04/2026 12:39

XenoBitch · 03/04/2026 12:35

Where I live, a couple working full time would be earning too much to get on the housing list.

In my LA, anyone can get on the housing list and how much you earn doesn't matter. If you are considered adequately housed though, you'll be at the bottom of the list.

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

PlattyCat · 03/04/2026 12:40

Cross post

XenoBitch · 03/04/2026 12:40

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 12:35

There's no need to be as personal as this. I hope you rethink that post

Thanks. She did save, but my dad died last month so the household income has dropped by a lot so she is now having to dip into them.

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 12:41

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

Are you including SH taxpayers or does their tax not count as taxpayers money?

XenoBitch · 03/04/2026 12:42

Kirbert2 · 03/04/2026 12:39

In my LA, anyone can get on the housing list and how much you earn doesn't matter. If you are considered adequately housed though, you'll be at the bottom of the list.

Yep, it depends where you live. My town has a huge shortage of SH hence why the rules are more strict.
I know single people living in hotels because there isn't even 1 bed places available.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 03/04/2026 12:42

I am wondering if the person in question has actually bought her council house. In my borough the council is (perhaps wrongly) very open to selling tenants their council homes, leasehold (at a price way less than market value, depending on how many years they have lived there as a tenant). I live in a cul de sac of council flats (owner, but my flat had belonged to the two different owners before me). Some of my neighbours own, many rent but during my time here at least two of the tenants (if not more) have managed to buy their flats and one has just sold theirs back to the council, as they had to move quickly in difficult circumstances.

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 03/04/2026 12:42

gliborglitch · 03/04/2026 08:08

How entitled she is and to think that I work my butt off to pay for her selfishness. I'd prefer a young family in need in this property.

Are you personally paying her rent? At 70 I'd assume she is now retired. What makes you think she's spent the last 40 years not paying her own rent?

Genevieva · 03/04/2026 12:43

Children don’t stop needing to come home the moment they move out. I’d want them to be able to come and stay at weekends / Christmas etc.

Kirbert2 · 03/04/2026 12:43

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

In my area, the rents are similar because private rentals aren't in demand as it isn't the best area.

But I'd be willing to pay more because the security of SH is priceless.

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 12:43

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

That would completely defeat the object of social housing and it would no longer exist. Which is exactly what a number of people posting on this thread seem to want.

And once again social housing rents aren’t subsidised.

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 03/04/2026 12:45

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

HA aren't council-run. They're separate private companies that usually have a charity status. Taxpayers aren't subsidising them. Or am I subsidising my own rent because I live in SH and work FT? 🤔

PlattyCat · 03/04/2026 12:46

MrsAnon6 · 03/04/2026 11:45

She can go on homeswapper. It’s for all properties regardless of need. I work in social housing and we support all applicants onto homeswapper provided they’ve completed the first initial year of their tenancy.

Yes she can go on homeswapper, she has been on homeswapper and has found lots of properties she'd like to change to. But it's a case of "computer says no!" Rather than common sense.

Our Local authority only lets you swap
to a home suited to your needs. She can only swap to a one bedroom but the tenenets in the one bedroom must be a family of 8+ people to swap to her five bedroom house. There just isn't anyone in our area that is in this situation to swap to.

She was denied a swap to a perfect two bedroom flat just dow the street because of this rule

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 12:47

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 03/04/2026 12:45

HA aren't council-run. They're separate private companies that usually have a charity status. Taxpayers aren't subsidising them. Or am I subsidising my own rent because I live in SH and work FT? 🤔

Nor are council owned properties. The account is completely separate from the general fund.

Winter2020 · 03/04/2026 12:49

EarlofShrewsbury · 03/04/2026 12:23

When I got given my keys, both me and my husband worked full time.

What year was that?

ScaryM0nster · 03/04/2026 12:50

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:56

Yes I definitely agree that more affordable social housing homes need to be built and less student accommodation. In my city it is all brand new student flats which is great for the students but very few affordable social housing homes are being built.

Can I just check - that you as someone who thinks it’s reasonable for a person to occupy a social housing property and leave 2/3rds of it unusable is also complaining about not enough being built?

Wow.

caringcarer · 03/04/2026 12:50

Trumpisacunt · 03/04/2026 12:30

Most social housing is running by 'not for profit' organisations with the rent usually being 80% of 'market' value. That doesnt mean its being subsidised by the tax payer it just means they cant make a profit like private landlords.

Not 80 percent near to me. More like paying £417 for a 3 bedroom house where private rental at market value would be £1375

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 12:51

You don't have to be on benefits to get a council or HA house.

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 12:52

AirborneElephant · 03/04/2026 12:39

To me the obvious answer is to increase ALL social housing to full market rate for the area. No exceptions. And put tenancies on a normal commercial rolling basis, with annual rent rises. Then those that need help can get it through housing benefit, and those that don’t will have far less incentive to stay put as they are no longer being subsidised. And yes, for the hard of understanding, any rent below full market rate is a subsidy by the taxpayer. Any profit made by housing associations can go to pay the increased housing benefit for those that receive it, and for those that don’t the excess can go to more social housing provision.

Why isn’t the obvious answer capping private rents?

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 12:52

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 12:52

Why isn’t the obvious answer capping private rents?

Such a good question.

loonyloo · 03/04/2026 12:53

ProudAmberTurtle · 03/04/2026 07:46

In a perfect world they would keep it but this is a country with rapid population growth at the moment.

Whatever you think of the asylum issue, in the cold light of day the taxpayer shouldn't be paying for one person to live in a three bed house when there might be, say, a group of 5 people who need a home and a one bed flat is the only thing available.

For better or worse we live in a world with lots of mobility, and that means we need to build many more homes.

People who live in council houses pay rent. It's not a free home.

Drippingfeed · 03/04/2026 12:53

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 12:52

Such a good question.

The history of rent control will tell you why.

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 12:53

ScaryM0nster · 03/04/2026 12:50

Can I just check - that you as someone who thinks it’s reasonable for a person to occupy a social housing property and leave 2/3rds of it unusable is also complaining about not enough being built?

Wow.

Why is it unusable? Do SH tenants not have families who visit? Grandchildren who stay over? Adult kids who might have to return home?

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