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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Keeping a 3 bedroom council house when your children have grown up

1000 replies

Iwishitwerewarmer · 03/04/2026 07:41

Just pondering - what are everyone’s opinions on a single parent raising their children in a council house/housing association house and staying there once their children have moved out? Should they downsize into a one bed flat/smaller property or is it their right to remain in their home/neighbourhood?

Added extra - they have looked after the property well, have landscaped the garden, installed a new kitchen and generally added value to the property.

OP posts:
Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 11:11

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:05

Oh it definitely was snobby but you have to remember. This was the 90s when there was actually no good reason why anybody wouldn’t go and buy a house.
Properties on that Council estate would sell for 32,000
Starting salaries were 12k if you had two of you working you really did have to be poor to not be able to better yourself at that time

What's the difference between buying a house on an estate and renting it? Some people don't want to buy their council home. My mums next door neighbours rent their home and have done all their lives - they could have afforded to buy it - surely it's about choice as well. I'm not sure bettering yourself necessarily equates to buying a home.

beAsensible1 · 03/04/2026 11:12

Itsabingthin · 03/04/2026 11:09

Council rent isn’t “subsidised” in the way people assume.
It only looks cheap because private rents have exploded, not because councils are giving tenants a discount.

Council rents have never been based on the private market. They’re set using a different system: long-term cost of building, maintenance, and affordability rules. Private rent is based on demand, mortgages, and profit.

People also forget how recently private rent overtook council rent.
In the 90s and early 2000s, in places like Dagenham, private rent and council rent were actually quite similar. You could realistically choose either. Council wasn’t seen as a “lottery win” because the gap wasn’t huge.

For example, my mum paid around £40 a week in the 90s and pays about £150 now. That’s a normal, steady rise. Meanwhile, private rent in the same area has gone from around £100 to £350+ in the same period. So it’s private rent that has shot up, not council rent being artificially lowered.

If someone pays their full council rent, they aren’t being individually subsidised.
What’s subsidised is the social housing system as a whole not the tenant’s personal bill.

The real issue is that the private market has become unaffordable, not that council tenants are getting an undeserved discount.

and a lot of the contributing factor is right to buy reducing council stocking and removing competition

hazelberry · 03/04/2026 11:12

Portakalkedi · 03/04/2026 11:11

As you're asking, yes you should move out of your taxpayer-subsidised house, given the huge waiting lists and shortage of council housing in general. Those who have to pay market rent or mortgage have to live in houses of a size they can afford.

SH tenants are taxpayers too.

moofolk · 03/04/2026 11:12

I think people are looking the wrong way. Let older people whose children have left home stay in their own homes.

There are so many reasons for this it seems crazy to have to list them, but dignity is one, keeping support networks is another, and maybe having those adult children come back for their own needs or to help our elderly parents, the list goes on.

For those above saying those homes could be given to families. I agree, there is not enough social housing. I actually live in a private rented ex council house, paying double social rent.

So my proposal would be to take any ex council housing rented for profit back into the social housing stock, along with any second homes.

x2boys · 03/04/2026 11:12

Portakalkedi · 03/04/2026 11:11

As you're asking, yes you should move out of your taxpayer-subsidised house, given the huge waiting lists and shortage of council housing in general. Those who have to pay market rent or mortgage have to live in houses of a size they can afford.

To where?

ProjectHailMary · 03/04/2026 11:13

moofolk · 03/04/2026 11:06

Do you think people who own their homes should not be allowed spare bedrooms?

Maybe take in homeless people from the streets if their children go to university?

If you own an asset then you can legitimately decide what to do with it. If you pay to borrow one then quite clearly you do not have the same rights.

x2boys · 03/04/2026 11:13

moofolk · 03/04/2026 11:12

I think people are looking the wrong way. Let older people whose children have left home stay in their own homes.

There are so many reasons for this it seems crazy to have to list them, but dignity is one, keeping support networks is another, and maybe having those adult children come back for their own needs or to help our elderly parents, the list goes on.

For those above saying those homes could be given to families. I agree, there is not enough social housing. I actually live in a private rented ex council house, paying double social rent.

So my proposal would be to take any ex council housing rented for profit back into the social housing stock, along with any second homes.

How?

Differentforgirls · 03/04/2026 11:14

Choosos · 03/04/2026 09:27

600 a month rent for a theee bed and I know people in two beds on 400 a month. Meanwhile a three bed from an actual landlord is 1600.

And it’s apparently not subsidised? 🤔Why can’t they raise their rent instead of raising council tax on everyone else every single year instead.

They aren’t subsidised. In private housing you’re paying someone else’s mortgage.

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:15

x2boys · 03/04/2026 11:08

My Bil went school wit somone who was brought up on a nice middle class estate who committed a notorious, brutal murder
Both examples are extreme and neither are the result of where they lived as children.

You could apply the same to those claiming to have had academic excellence installed into them in a council Estate.
The McCartney’s sent their children to a sink school. That has produced precisely one fashion designer in its entire existence
It’s about social mobility isn’t it? And it’s proven by the office of national statistics. It’s at the lowest point it’s ever been currently.

ProjectHailMary · 03/04/2026 11:15

Differentforgirls · 03/04/2026 11:14

They aren’t subsidised. In private housing you’re paying someone else’s mortgage.

They are subsidised. See my first post on the thread. It’s financially illiterate to suggest otherwise and so silly that this refusal by some posters to accept this basic fact undermines any attempts at worthwhile discussion on the subject.

Kirbert2 · 03/04/2026 11:16

Itsabingthin · 03/04/2026 11:09

Council rent isn’t “subsidised” in the way people assume.
It only looks cheap because private rents have exploded, not because councils are giving tenants a discount.

Council rents have never been based on the private market. They’re set using a different system: long-term cost of building, maintenance, and affordability rules. Private rent is based on demand, mortgages, and profit.

People also forget how recently private rent overtook council rent.
In the 90s and early 2000s, in places like Dagenham, private rent and council rent were actually quite similar. You could realistically choose either. Council wasn’t seen as a “lottery win” because the gap wasn’t huge.

For example, my mum paid around £40 a week in the 90s and pays about £150 now. That’s a normal, steady rise. Meanwhile, private rent in the same area has gone from around £100 to £350+ in the same period. So it’s private rent that has shot up, not council rent being artificially lowered.

If someone pays their full council rent, they aren’t being individually subsidised.
What’s subsidised is the social housing system as a whole not the tenant’s personal bill.

The real issue is that the private market has become unaffordable, not that council tenants are getting an undeserved discount.

It's also still the case in some areas.

I'm in Yorkshire and when I moved from private to social a year ago, the rent was the same.

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:17

ProjectHailMary · 03/04/2026 11:09

What does that even mean? The market rate is the market rate. How can it be “artificially high”?

The market adjusts based on supply and demand so automatically reflects the current real-terms value in the price.

The only way I can conceive of that you comment makes any sense would be the fact that many of the legislative changes that have been made (i.e. market interference) to levy tax on landlords based on revenue rather than profit (unlike any other business) and make it more risky and expensive for landlords to let property have inflated prices because (unsurprisingly) they have reduced supply. But that, of course, is just the market operating as usual and adjusting the price to reflect the current costs and risks which have been changed by the regulatory regime, so is not “artificial“, rather an accurate reflection of the new costs introduced of course then having to be reflected in the price charged.

It’s just basic economics.

What I mean is that social housing rents are , more or less, the actual cost of the housing. Rather than an overinflated cost.

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:17

Blueshoey484 · 03/04/2026 11:11

What's the difference between buying a house on an estate and renting it? Some people don't want to buy their council home. My mums next door neighbours rent their home and have done all their lives - they could have afforded to buy it - surely it's about choice as well. I'm not sure bettering yourself necessarily equates to buying a home.

It equates to the liability on the taxpayer being indefinite versus having a natural end Date, which is why thatcher sold them all off

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:19

ProjectHailMary · 03/04/2026 11:13

If you own an asset then you can legitimately decide what to do with it. If you pay to borrow one then quite clearly you do not have the same rights.

Unless you’re mortgage free, you don’t own your asset. Your lender does. Maybe they should decide.

firstofallimadelight · 03/04/2026 11:19

In an ideal world she would be able to move to a smaller house/flat in the same village but without that no people shouldn’t have to disrupt their lives in that way

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:20

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:19

Unless you’re mortgage free, you don’t own your asset. Your lender does. Maybe they should decide.

They do 😂

Sassylovesbooks · 03/04/2026 11:20

HA properties are rented out at a much lower rent, than if that person was private renting. That's the whole point of HA properties, providing housing for those who can't afford to pay market value. A proportion of HA tenants will be having some or all of their rent paid for by Housing Benefit.

If you don't pay your rent then you can be evicted, regardless if your private rent or if it's HA (although my guess is the threshold for HA eviction would be higher). In the same way, if you default on your mortgage enough times, you can eventually have your home repossessed by the mortgage lender.

Private landlord can decide to sell, and the tenant has to find alternative accommodation. HA means you have a secure tennancy and don't have to move, regardless of the size of the property.

We have a housing crisis. There are fewer private landlords, and rents are extremely high. There aren't as many family HA properties available with 3+ bedrooms. If a family were given a 3 bedroomed property to raise their family, by a HA and the children all grow up leaving the parents alone in the property. I don't think it's unreasonable to insist that that secure tenancy is now passed over to a 1 bedroomed home, so the 3 bedroomed can be given to a family. I'm not suggesting the parents should lose their secure tenancy but it should be passed to a smaller property.

In essence a HA property or a private rental property, isn't your own home. You don't own that property, and therefore sadly, you can't expect to have exactly the same security/stability as someone who does. Although the Renters Rights Bill may change some of that.

Wot23 · 03/04/2026 11:20

comes down to
Either: your own morals (what other people think is irrelevant, it is your home, not theirs, be your own person)
Or: the HA/council's rules on under occupation and financial incentives for downsizing

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 11:21

ProjectHailMary · 03/04/2026 11:15

They are subsidised. See my first post on the thread. It’s financially illiterate to suggest otherwise and so silly that this refusal by some posters to accept this basic fact undermines any attempts at worthwhile discussion on the subject.

OK. Assume I’m a bear of little brain who knows that the council housing account and the council’s general account must legally be completely separate and there is no cross pollination. Please explain to this financially illiterate idiot how council housing is subsidised. In simple terms, please.

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:22

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:20

They do 😂

They compel people to take in lodgers? Huge if true.

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:24

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:22

They compel people to take in lodgers? Huge if true.

They can put you in a financial pressure with a change of interest rates that would force you to if you are to take the advice of Mumsnet whenever one falls on hard times. The first default position is to allow some weirdo stranger to live in your house alongside your small children to cover the bills.
That’s if youve of course already taken in ironing to no avail 😂

Barkybarkynutnut · 03/04/2026 11:24

Nope I think you should be offered the chance to go to a smaller property. It’s social/council housing and not privately owned. I’m sure there is something in the contract about it. Or there was a long time ago! My mum was in a three bed after we all left home and she was offered the chance to downsize. Which she did. It’s fairer and helps families with children who are homeless or squashed in a too small place. Makes sense to me!

BackToLurk · 03/04/2026 11:25

ElizabethReed · 03/04/2026 11:24

They can put you in a financial pressure with a change of interest rates that would force you to if you are to take the advice of Mumsnet whenever one falls on hard times. The first default position is to allow some weirdo stranger to live in your house alongside your small children to cover the bills.
That’s if youve of course already taken in ironing to no avail 😂

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Wot23 · 03/04/2026 11:26

BIossomtoes · 03/04/2026 11:21

OK. Assume I’m a bear of little brain who knows that the council housing account and the council’s general account must legally be completely separate and there is no cross pollination. Please explain to this financially illiterate idiot how council housing is subsidised. In simple terms, please.

there is no profit motive driving the rental price
"subsidy" in the sense that the rent is below commercial levels hence the use of acceptance criteria to control who can get the housing

TheBlueKoala · 03/04/2026 11:26

Council housing is subsidised. I have a friend (two dc) who lives in a 2 bedroom council house. She pays 400£ p month and gets 200£ in housing benefits so her rent is 200£ per month. It's new built and perfect for her and her 2 kids. She could never have afforded to live there if it had been private owned.
Her neighbour has a 3 bedroom appartment because she moved in with 3 dc. They have all moved out so she's living there alone (in her fifties) and regularly hosts foreign students for 1-2 weeks which is quite a lucrative business. I think it's wrong because taxpayers are founding this and you have got families living in studio appartements waiting to be housed. I think the council should oblige her to switch appartment with one of those families whose children are living in miserable conditions.

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