Always worried about something

[Worry4Worry]

I don't know if this is the right place for this, apologies if not, but I thought maybe it would be helpful to know if I am going through what most go through or I need some sensible perspective.

In short, as the username states, I worry constantly.

Here are just some of the things that I worry about:

Cancer
Gaining weight
Alzheimers
War - International & Civil
Safety as a woman (for myself and my DD)
Being put into a nursing home and abused
Running out of money
Running out of food/choice of food
Losing my home
Aging
Being alone

Some of the things that cause these worries are:

Media
Social media
Experiences of family

I don't sleep well, at all. I probably average about 3 hours of sleep a night due to waking up with random, catastrophic thoughts. I have a bottle of wine, maybe every few days (?) then feel so scared that I drank cancer into myself and ruminate over that for days. To prove to myself that I'm overreacting, I will allow myself to drink again only to restart the cycle.

I'm on a total meal replacement diet (TMR), which has worked as far as weight loss (apart from causing crazy sugar craves that I indulge in after drinking but that's a different story), but I'm scared the ingredients are carcinogens or detrimental to health in other ways.

I'm worried 'meat' we buy is made in a lab and then refuse to eat it, so then eat the TMR food, but cycle back to the bad ingredients I know are in there and try to understand if they're worse than what I'm assuming is in the lab meat. Then, I'm try to figure out what these ingredients are going to cost me in terms of health.

I ate a banana already this morning and now I'm worried I'm going to gain weight and earn myself diabetes. So, I've planned a chicken breast salad for way later, after I walk 10k steps (maybe 20k) and drink black coffee in the interim.

I try to stay off the news because I believe it to be scare mongering propaganda but then I tell myself I have to be 'informed' and a cycle of doom starts all over.

Do I need some help or what? Do all people have these worries all the time or is it just me? I don't mind what the answer is, I just feel like I need some perspective. I drive my DH crazy with all of my worries so I don't want to go to him. He doesn't need to feel as crazy as I do!

Hope not too many of you are awake at 3:30 a.m. with any similar issues. But, hey, if you are, you're not alone.

Why?

Because alcohol causes chemical changes in your brain it relaxes you in the moment but once the alcohol leaves your system the disruptions in your brain can lead to negative thoughts and feelings

You need some help. If worrying about all this stuff is making you have very little sleep go to your GP.

OP, I was like this and really turned it around. I honestly hit rock bottom and thought if I don't sort this out I will spend the next half of my life miserable.

If this sounds harsh or impossible it is honestly not my intention. You asked for ideas and these are mine. If I can do it you can I promise.

You asked "Where is the line between worrying too much and being naïve or blasé?" Well initially you have to make the decision to worry about NOTHING. Really NOTHING, because at the moment you don't know the difference.

Stop all your exposure to worry.
Do not watch the news. Keep off of TikTok. Promise yourself you'll do this for one full month and see what happens. What will happen is that things you would have wasted days worrying about will come and go without you ever knowing about them. Your keeping abreast of world news and worrying about it makes no difference. You will save yourself hours.

Use those hours to do something productive. Dig your garden, join a gym, decorate your back bedroom. Be active, occupied and focus. If you start to worry about anything focus on your project.

Allow yourself 15 minutes a day to Sit and Worry. Set a timer.
Sit at the table and write all your worries on the left hand page of a book. Against them on the right hand page write what you can do Right Now to remedy the worry. If you can do something DO IT. If you can't - cross that worry out and move on.
When the timer goes off, tear the page out, rip it up and put it in the bin. Get up and get on.

No screens in the evening. Read a good book, paint, knit. Anything but screens.

I recommend the book Devorgilla Days. It's about a woman who loses everything and makes her life wonderful through relaxing and keeping busy. It's inspirational and restful. It helped me change my life.

Give up alcohol altogether. This will make more difference than any of the above. It breeds anxiety. If you go two weeks without touching alcohol you will not believe how much better you feel. I promise that. You'll feel so good you don't want to bust it by drinking again.

Just eat three normal, healthy meals a day God damn it.

Make planning, buying, preparing, eating and cleaning up after your meals a project for yourself. If you can't do it on your own join a healthy slimming group of some sort. Slimming World isn't for everyone but it worked for me. It gave me a structure and balance and made me eat more fruit, veg, drink water, more honest plain food.....all good stuff. I lost over three stone and knew everything I put in my mouth was doing me good. Buy your veg from a veg shop, your meat from a butcher that can tell you the farm it came from. Or give up meat. Keep it as close to unprocessed as you can but DO NOT SWEAT IT. Some UPF are just simply not going to kill you. Believe that.

If you can't sleep - get up. Drink a herbal tea and make a meal plan, read 10 pages of your book and go back to bed. If you still can't sleep go on a walk in your head. Notice everything lovely on that walk. Do not allow yourself to worry. Be determined.

If you feel a worry coming over you - feel it - then let it float by you again. Say in your head or out loud All Will Be Well. Get up and get on.

Tell your DH what you're doing and ask for his support. Not talking to him and keeping it to yourself is not serving you.

Don't do anything that doesn't serve you well.

You can turn this around starting today.
Do it for a month. If it doesn't work (If you do everything above it will work) then get help because if you don't then when will you change? Will your life always be like this.

All will be well.

Put into ChatGPT does wine cause anxiety.

All those things are common things to worry about.

It's hard not to worry, human brains are programmed to look for risk.

But worrying to that extent isn't healthy, and it can be improved. You could start with self-care, or start with the GP. Either way, it will take a bit of time for the worry to recede but it can be done.

Meditation, yoga, exercise, healthy eating, cutting alcohol, reducing stressful media - all these things help.

This sounds pretty tough @Worry4Worry . In your position I’d talk to a GP or show them what you’ve posted here.

I’m prone to anxiety and what has helped is the realisation that life is uncertain and ultimately quite dangerous, we can lose things we hold dear, illness can strike - and worrying doesn’t change this. But, we all have immense strength and coping skills. These are our inner resources, which we draw on when we need them. It might help a bit to have a good think about your own strengths and resources, I bet you have a lot if you’re living with that constant worry.

Also Agree with PPs that you’d be better off without the wine. Try no alcohol for a couple of weeks and see how you feel.

Thanks all so much for your assistance.

Regarding alcohol, with respect and appreciation, I really don't think that's the issue. I don't believe a bottle of wine every few days is enough to make MH an issue.

Further to this point, I drank on one day last year, 2nd February, and not drinking didn't make anything better or worse for me apart from losing weight which was great.

I plan on resuming being teetotal following this weekend, after indulging since New Years this year, but I don't believe it will make any changes based on last year and that's fine.

But, I will try all other suggestions with an open mind and really appreciate the time everyone took to assist. I understand you all took time from your day and your own situations to help a stranger and I really hope you all know how thankful I am for that.

Hope you all have a lovely Easter weekend.

Very much what @Catza said.

Worry is a completely pointless mental habit. Also, it doesn't deal with what is, it deals with what might be - so equally, and in fact usually more likely, it might never happen.

Consider (whatever it is). Can you do anything constructive about it? Great, do that. (And now stop worrying.)

Can you not do anything constructive about it? Ok, then stop worrying about it because that is achieving nothing other than diminishing your mental health, giving you less capacity to deal with things you can influence, making you less available for the good things in your life, and impeding your positive connections with loved ones around you.
Worrying has a real negative cost to your life.

And if you have trouble stopping worrying, CBT and meditation can be helpful in learning to detach from and not believe your thoughts.

Hey, didn’t want to read and run! I don’t say this in a dismissive ‘oh you sound a bit OCD’ way but I genuinely think you may need to explore the possibility you have OCD. I have it, and a lot of the things you are saying are very relatable/ similar to me. I was medicated for it but have gradually become medication free, but I do regularly see a therapist. I have horrific OCD flare ups where I genuinely feel paralysed by fear and indecision, but then I also have great stretches where it’s under control. Working closely with a therapist and CBT have really helped me with learning coping mechanisms when the flare ups are bad. The first step would be contacting your GP. Good luck, it’s hard and life can feel so heavy because of thoughts like these, but you are strong x

@Worry4Worry I would recommend trying "worry time" https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/tackling-your-worries/

Basically, you reserve time for focused worrying, just a short session per day, which frees you up the rest of the time to notice a worry, write it down, and consciously choose to worry about it later.

Worrying went overdrive with me, it was awful, I was absolutely consumed by it, but worry time really freed me up so that I don't have to constantly fuel the worry monster.

Thanks for your nice reply. I was actually thinking about you overnight, and wanted to add something.

I wanted to point out that I wasn't in any way minimizing your worries. All the things you mentioned are valid things to worry about. I worry about them, too. All sensible people should! But ideally, our worries should spur us to learn more, maybe to take action - but not to interfere with our mental well-being.

I, too, often have some news "consumption" at night. But perhaps you should stay away from sites with melodramatic click-bait and stick to solid news. For me, I tend to watch snarky news comedy that mocks politics. And when I go to bed, instead of worrying, I'm more likely to spin elaborate fantasies of how I'd fix things, how I'd allocate money to fix the world.

Anyway, I'd avoid anyone suggesting medication, because there's nothing wrong with you. I just think a good counselor/therapist might help you deal with the worries and "self-soothe."

Good luck.

Thank you for your kind reply to my post. I hope you get some sleep tonight although I know its a difficult cycle to break.

I was diagnosed in 2010. Sixteen years ago now. It's changed my life beyond recognition. I've always been a night time worrier. .
I'd say that the level is the same as before the illness

Yet last night I'm worrying about a watering can that I can't find and wether expanding foam is better than filler for a small gap around the window frame! Is the lawn alright in the back garden. Also am I fat. Also hair problems..and so on.

Best wishes to all the worried and awake.

I'll add to my post that I can no longer use a watering can or fill gaps in walls so the worry doesn't even have any point!
No rhyme or reason at that time of the night/early hours.

Hi, sorry to read what you’re going through, I used to be the same, I worried about the worst things too,I didn’t sleep either, I went to the drs and was diagnosed with ocd, I was prescribed Quitipine and they truly are a life saver, if I don’t take them I would be up all night,go to the drs and explain to them what you have here,

I didn’t read the reply’s to this thread before I commented but you’re right I think she has ocd too, op, there’s nothing wrong with having meditation as it helps you sleep, if your anything like me your mood will change because off the sleepless nights you have resulting in racing thoughts and anxiety, vicious circle