AIBU over chair?

[Undertheviaduct]

Hi, grateful for any perspectives. Son is home from Uni, and wants to sit in his 'usual' chair in the living room. This is the one he has always tended to sit in. However, since he went to Uni, husband has taken to sitting in that chair. Husband wants me to support that it is now 'his' chair, and is angry that I'm not supporting him in that. Son is in halls with only a desk chair and I want him to feel comfortable and welcomed for the short time he is back. Husband says this particular chair has better view of TV etc. I have offered him the chair where I usually sit, with good view of the TV etc, but that didn't help. Husband feels that I am not prioritising him. AIBU to think son should be able to sit in his usual chair when he is back?

Have you tried just laughing at them when they start these arguments and try to get you to take sides? It’s so utterly pathetic OP - have two grown men not got anything better to do. I’d tell them I’m not getting involved in their nonsense. Maybe put on one of those documentaries about big cats or gorillas that focus on fights between males to assert dominance to make your point? Or hold up a score board and yell “fight!” when they start rowing.

Well the OP sounds very much like she supports her son on this

Probably an example of where every single person is right and wrong.

Son probably does want to feel some form of normalcy and connection while in this transition period it isnt malicious but he needs to start moving on and seperating at some point, you do want to support and have him comfortable but he doesn't need coddling really he will be fine, and dad is right it is a bit silly he has to abandon the chair periodically for a son that will be moving in in life but he could also acknowledge why this silly thing is comforting and maybe offer it anyway.

I think your husband should tell his son times have changed and this is now his preferred chair. I'm sure husband bought the chair. I think your son should be respectful of his father and say sure dad, no problem. And they both should leave you out of it.

Jesus wept omg !!! I’d take the bloody chair n sit in it myself

Like father like son, it seems. Leave them to it.

And what do you get? For looking after them all?

I mean I don’t agree with adults getting the best of everything because they pay, but I even less agree with men taking the best over women!

To be clear I don’t think the chair should be reserved for the son either. I think it should be a first come, first served chair. Or the OP should just get it.

I would sit in the chair and tell to both fuck off.

Surely they won't always want to sit in it at the same time much? I would say whoever gets there first, a bit like parking spaces on the road?!

Do they argue over who gets to sit in the front seat of the car too ? Pathetic - sit in the seat yourself or put it in the garage if they can’t sort as adults

Doubt it - that will be granted to the son automatically I expect

If it's the best chair in the house, you should have it

Edited to add:
Sit in it and tell your son to bring you tea, and your husband to bring you toast

Move your feet lose your seat?

I'll bet your husband isn't his dad because a dad wouldn't push his sonnout pike thst and push you to choose between them by asking for back up. It's absolutely pathetic.

Edited can see he is and actually that's worse. His son is home periodically, why woulndt he want to make him feel at home.

Because he no longer lives at home and doesn’t pay the bills so waltzing in every few months and expecting to get his own way is not on.

Why does your husband think you should prioritise him? Why does anyone need to be prioritised? It's a chair. They could both have time in the chair. I couldn't be doing with such ridiculousness over a chair. There's an ideal chair in my lounge, whoever gets their first sits there. If there was a guest, which your DS kind of is now he's at uni, I definitely wouldn't be moving them out of the best chair. I'd want them to feel comfortable, knowing I can have the chair when they're gone. If my DH was acting like yours is it would put me off him.

And bending to the whims of the father/husband in the house will definitely teach him well. Way to create a man who will be a dominating husband and father who thinks his needs and wants come above everyone else as 'man of the house'.

Best way to settle would be‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ clearly.

Given that the OP says this chair was usually used by her son prior to him going to university but now is used by her husband I have an image of her husband,, prior to her son going to university, looking enviously at the chair thinking soon my beauty soon you will be mine, whilst twiddling his moustache in the manner of the villain in a Victorian melodrama.

The OP could turn this petty dispute to her advantage, the chair becomes a prize in a competition between her son and her husband to see who can do the best at housework.

Or the son could accept that the house no longer revolves around him?

Lock them both out of the room till they stop having a territorial pissing competition. Sit on the disputed chair yourself and turn the tv up so loudly you can’t hear them kvetching.

Do you know how much I desperately hope my dc waltzes home and feels the weight lift from her shoulders because she's home, she's safe and the world can pause for a few weeks?

I think your husband’s being selfish.

This is pathetic behaviour.

But why is a grown man having a pissing competition with his own son???