AIBU over chair?

[Undertheviaduct]

Hi, grateful for any perspectives. Son is home from Uni, and wants to sit in his 'usual' chair in the living room. This is the one he has always tended to sit in. However, since he went to Uni, husband has taken to sitting in that chair. Husband wants me to support that it is now 'his' chair, and is angry that I'm not supporting him in that. Son is in halls with only a desk chair and I want him to feel comfortable and welcomed for the short time he is back. Husband says this particular chair has better view of TV etc. I have offered him the chair where I usually sit, with good view of the TV etc, but that didn't help. Husband feels that I am not prioritising him. AIBU to think son should be able to sit in his usual chair when he is back?

It's whoever gets there first

My dog sneaks onto my chair whenever I stand up.

So I sit on the floor. But I do it in a passive aggressive way, so She Knows I'm Upset.

Like toddlers let them take turns....

They get to sort it out themselves? Reminds me of a recent conversation with my mum who is 84, she decided to declare whilst we were visiting her in her care home that two little girls were sitting in 'her' chair... My answer? 'It doesn't have your name on it'

Oh yes, the chair steal. She definitely does that to OH, revenge for moving her chair. Luckily, we have extra chairs so nobody has to sit in the floor.

Surely if the chair is empty then one of them sits in it? And then the next one to come into the room sits elsewhere? I’m baffled by the idea that people have their own chairs in a living room! Surely your DH wouldn’t expect the chair to be left empty - even if he was out at work or elsewhere? But don’t get involved.

Is DH sons father? If it isn't a power play it ought not to matter..but its a disconcerting thing to do to someone who might need to know home is a fixed safe haven..in their first steps out into the world..
Why does DH want to assert this?

I’m guessing DH isn’t DS father?

Tell him to sit elsewhere so DS knows he is welcome home. What’s the problem?

Whoever owns the house and pays the bills wins. Uni students should be sitting on cosmic cushions and planning their future .

This level of pettiness would seriously give me the ick!

Oh god my teenage brothers used to act like this. It’s childish. Tell them to grow up and share or it becomes yours chair

Basically this is all about men pissing on their territory. Tell them both to fuck off and sort themselves out.

I have other chairs. But this is MY chair! And she knows it.

Pathetic behaviour.
Tell them to sort it out themselves.

A game of musical chairs is the only solution bb

Shove the chair out into the garden so they can squabble about it out there without disturbing you.

Agree first come first served.

Since when did whose chair it is become your issue to mediate?

Utter bollocks.

Edit to add: claim the fucking chair for yourself if that good to stop all the arguing.

Same. Two adults do t need a third to referee.

I secretly have a favourite place to sit on the sofas but I would never admit to it because it’s pathetic.

Why are they both coming to you to sort this and why are you offering to give up your space to resolve when it’s not your issue in the first place?

First come first served. Including you. Sit in that chair.

We all have our own preferred seats in the lounge and the dining room. I think you should make your son feel welcome when he comes home from uni. Your Dh can sit where he used to sit for a few weeks. He is being ridiculous. It does feel like a pissing contest.

Otherwise maybe your son won't come home during the holidays as he will have paid accommodation elsewhere and he might get an offer to stay with his mates at their parents' houses where he feels more welcome. I hardly went home during holidays because I still shared a room at home so spent them instead with my boyfriend in his parents' idyllic country cottage and his very welcoming family.

Chairs are first come first served!

Ridiculous.

By your husband not your son, as I don’t see your son trying to drag you into it and “tell” your husband that the chair is his.

What is your husband thinking? That you should really ban your son from a chair in his own home?

Your husband isn’t your son’s dad is he?

For crying out loud! It's a fucking chair and they're two grown up men who need to stop being so fucking petty and dragging you into their argument instead of acting like grown ups.

I mean I do sort of support DD’s rights over a particular chair in the living room as she has always sat there whilst DS used to prefer the “prime” end of the more comfortable sofa. So I think he doesn’t really get to change his mind and take her preferred seat after several years (it’s just the three of us, by deliberate choice).

But she is reasonable so he does get to sit there sometimes.

I don’t mind where I sit apart from that chair which I really don’t like (it’s a rocking chair)!

I can certainly understand the "favourite spot" idea but I still don't see how this is your problem to solve.
You shouldn't do anything, make anyone feel welcome or "support" your husband in his tantrums. I'd personally find something better to do with my evenings than sit at home listening to those two.

Take a chainsaw to the chair then no-one can have it