Can I make my baby sleep better or is this "normal"?

[BigBruisedFruit]

So I know there are babies sleeping worse than this but compared to every baby I know irl he's worse.

He's just turning 7mo. He goes to sleep around 7:30pm, then wakes up twice for a feed (he's breastfed) - around 12:30 and 3:30. Then he's normally up for the day at 6am or earlier.

I am finding it hard to cope with honestly, even though I go to bed at about 9:30pm. If I ever try to settle him in the night without feeding he just loses it, but I don't really think he can be hungry - he eats loads of solids now, has milk every 3 hours in the day, and is 75th centile for weight.

I'd like to either make him drop a night feed or wake up later in the morning. Is it possible?? Or is this just how he is?

He has three naps a day, all about 30-40 mins. I try to get the last nap in before 4:30pm.

From about 1mo - 5mo he'd go to sleep at 7:30, wake once for a feed, then go back to sleep until about 8am!! I thought I'd lucked out, but now he seems to have totally forgotten how to do that.

YABU - some babies are just like this, there's nothing you can do, and his sleep will naturally improve as he grows.

YANBU - you can fix this (please tell me how...)

I don't think you can fix it. It's completely normal. My 4 year old still wakes up for the day at 5.30-6.30 most mornings.

That sounds very normal and in my experience actually really good.

I don't think you can "make him". Agree, they're all different. I had 4, the third,was like that. I worked in the NHS, maternity leave was 6 weeks after birth in the 70s/80c. I saved so I could afford 3 months off. I ended up bf till 14 months because it was the only thing that would get him to sleep! I was so tired I was hallucinating! Health visitor said wake him up at midnight and feed him,it didn't work! DD is going through the same,GC was sleeping through, now waking twice,bf,6 months old.

This sounds great! And totally normal. My kids were still waking twice a night until 3-4 years. Not for food but for a wee/needing some comfort to fall back to sleep.

6am wake up is surely standard for kids isn’t it? I don’t think I know any that sleep much later than that, especially as they get past the baby stages.

😩

I actually have an older son as well, but his sleep seemed to progress more "normally" (or more like other children I know). The night wakings dropped naturally (he was having one night feed by 7mo, and then stopped completely by himself) and although he did wake up early for a while that gradually improved by itself too. He's now 3yo and normally sleeps 8pm- 7am. There was just always that gradual but noticeable improvement with his sleep as time progressed.

Unlike my 7mo, who is getting worse.

Count yourself lucky! Mine was still waking every hour at that age. Just rest during the day if you’re tired, that’s what maternity leave is for.

That sounds pretty normal for me. My children were similar and I considered them good sleepers 🤷‍♀️

I know so many people whose babies sleep til like 8am or later?? If it was always 6am I guess I could handle it, but when it's like 5:30 it just seems totally unreasonable to me. DS doesn't agree.

I agree with PP that it sounds normal, but 3 naps at 7mo seems a lot. DD went down to 2 before 6mo.

But that was over a decade ago now, so what do I know! 🤷‍♀️

Baby sleep doesn't progress in a linear way - it's more like a spiral. Sometimes you're on top and it's ok, then you go round the bottom and it goes off again.

It's much more "normal" than sleeping 12 hrs at this age. The hardest thing with babies is that you can't make them do anything - you can only provide the conditions and the opportunity, the rest is up to them.

Try not to compare, hard as it is! They're humans, not some homegenous group who all do the same thing.

I say this with hindsight now I am out of it of course, I do understand how frustrating it is when you're in it!!

If your other child is also asleep early I would try going to bed sooner yourself it’s the much easier thing to change!

ds is 16 and due to his needs is tube fed overnight and an early waker. He goes to bed at 9 and I am in bed as soon as possible after that to get the best block of sleep I can before the alarms start!

Yeah I think two longer naps would be better. But he just won't. He always wakes up after about half an hour and so would only be getting about an hour's sleep in the day if he had two naps. I have tried that, and he was furious. He only gets 11-12 hours sleep in a 24hr period as it is, which doesn't really seem like enough.

Sounds fine for 7 months. If he goes to sleep 7.30pm I guess his bedtime feed is say 7pm? This means he's going 5.5hrs which is a decent chunk of time it just doesn't match your own bedtime so you don't benefit. You can try tinkering with it but then run the risk of making it worse rather than better. Does he fall asleep on the breast?

His napping looks like a problem to me, which will be impacting his night sleep. Three 30-min naps is nowhere near enough for a 7 month old. My twins were chronic catnappers until 10-11 months old when I got a sleep consultant to help. What time do you put him down for naps?

Yours is sleeping better than mine. Was breastfed to 9months and is now on formula as I didn't want to pump milk when I go back to work. No change in his sleep since stopping breastfeeding and he still feeds every wake up otherwise he just wakes again 30mins after I settle him.

It sounds really normal. Your older child is the outlier - not many children sleep 8pm-7am with no wakeups age 3.

If you want your baby to sleep later in the morning then the only really feasible way is to put him to bed later, or cut his daytime naps. Some kids are early risers no matter what though.

You're probably right, I just get literally 0 time for myself if I don't take an hour in the evenings. We eat 8 or 830 once the kids are asleep, then watch a bit of TV, then I get ready for bed so I can sleep by 930. I could cut the TV but it's the only time I have that isn't childcare/chores/sleep. I appreciate that probably sounds amazing to you though, with your son's additional needs.

He sometimes kind of dozes while breastfeeding if he's very tired, but then wakes back up and will fall asleep in his cot once I put him down.

Can you work on cutting his naps down to only two and making sure he is awake by 3pm?

Sleep regression is common, he may be an over achiever starting a little younger than is typical. Youngest was/is like that, took him until he was 14 months to sleep through from 7:30pm to 6am and he needed routine to stick to it.

First nap is like 930am, second like 12:30pm, third 4pm.

All babies have different sleep needs - it sounds as though your baby is just on the lower end. 10 to 11 hours overnight sleep is very normal for babies who are napping.
If you want a later wake up time then you will need to push his bedtime later. My 11 month old is similar to yours, but with a later bedtime - he usually does 8:30 - 7am with two wake ups at around 1:30 and 4am. I can settle his back to sleep for the first wakeup without feeding but he still contines to wake at this time.

Two wakes is very very good!!! My third baby did this. It was amazing after baby 1 woke every 45 mins and over 8 times a night until they were almost 10 months

He’s only waking twice that’s amazing! My 22m old wakes 3-4 times a night! Just breastfeed him back to sleep. Night feeds are so important at this young age for him and for your supply. night wakes are protective against SIDS. If you wait until he “loses it” then it just takes longer for everyone to get back to sleep. Night weaning (decreasing night feeds) isn’t recommended this young. Night time breastmilk contains sleep hormones to help settle babies back to sleep. It also releases this hormone in mothers, its natures way of getting everyone back to sleep quickly. Use it !
make things as easy for yourself at night. Keep baby next to you so you don’t have to get out of bed to feed them. I kept mine in bed beside me or in a side-car crib. I went to bed when they did to catch up on sleep -yes 8pm ! And with my first I napped when they did in the day if I wasn’t working to catch up. Have you joined LaLecheLeague for support in real life or online. Jojn FB group breastfeeding older babies and beyond. Also join FB group the beyond sleep training project for sleep solidarity and advice around naps and habit stacking amd sleep pressure etc with no tears or training. I’m a GP and mum of three breastfed boys, it’s not easy I know but your baby is perfectly normal. I’ve linked Durham University’s baby sleep information research.

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/infant-sleep-biology/#development

If he's not sleeping more than half an hour in the day he can't link sleep cycles well. You may benefit from teaching him how to, via soothing him when he stirs but not via feeding, either pram rock, shush and pat or holding and rocking.

Drop the third late nap. My 2 year old has always woken at 5 or 6