Can I make my baby sleep better or is this "normal"?

[BigBruisedFruit]

So I know there are babies sleeping worse than this but compared to every baby I know irl he's worse.

He's just turning 7mo. He goes to sleep around 7:30pm, then wakes up twice for a feed (he's breastfed) - around 12:30 and 3:30. Then he's normally up for the day at 6am or earlier.

I am finding it hard to cope with honestly, even though I go to bed at about 9:30pm. If I ever try to settle him in the night without feeding he just loses it, but I don't really think he can be hungry - he eats loads of solids now, has milk every 3 hours in the day, and is 75th centile for weight.

I'd like to either make him drop a night feed or wake up later in the morning. Is it possible?? Or is this just how he is?

He has three naps a day, all about 30-40 mins. I try to get the last nap in before 4:30pm.

From about 1mo - 5mo he'd go to sleep at 7:30, wake once for a feed, then go back to sleep until about 8am!! I thought I'd lucked out, but now he seems to have totally forgotten how to do that.

YABU - some babies are just like this, there's nothing you can do, and his sleep will naturally improve as he grows.

YANBU - you can fix this (please tell me how...)

I don’t think this is quite true. Some babies and children do sleep better than others. Sometimes you get lucky (then add in a bit of gentle sleep training and a good routine) and some can be poor sleepers no matter what you do.

There can also be sleep regressions which you need to handle.

There are things you can do to encourage good sleep habits - such as self soothing. If a baby is waking by habit and then self soothing by feeding that is something, at 7 months, that can be addressed. Many don’t want to and are happy with a baby and then a toddler that wakes multiple times a night.

I need my sleep so I did do some sleep training which worked. But I’m sure other things like genetics played a part.

Honestly this is why I co-slept with both of mine. I just wouldn't have been able to manage otherwise, I stopped feeding them in the night when they were both around a year old (also breastfeeding) but they still woke up. Even now at 4 and nearly 2 they wake and come into bed with us in the night, I know we have probably set up 'bad habits' but at least this way we get some sleep (they are also early wakers, usually before 6am, but they do go to bed early). It's really hard, I've made several attempts at getting them to self settle but have had to give up after a few days as I couldn't function on the lack of sleep!

I see this on mumsnet a lot. Genuinely, cosleeping was not good for us at all. My baby interpreted me being there as having milk on tap and it made his sleep much, much worse, he just wanted to feed all the time, using me as a dummy. Cosleeping worked well in the early days but not after 5/6 months.

Your rubbish sleeper is about the same as my good sleeper was! My bad sleeper was waking hourly until 18m. Mine have never really slept through though, and I don't think they ever will (maybe they will in teenage years). They're 7&8 now.

My children are definitely worse than average but I think your expectations have been skewed and aren't realistic. Most babies wake more than yours at this age. I survived on 4 hours broken sleep for several years. Now I get 5-6 which is a definite improvement.

Two wakes at that age is pretty good going OP, I'm afraid.

What do you do for naps? I mean, where/how does he sleep? I found that I could fix when or how or how long, but not all three at once.

So if I had to drive him around to get him in the habit of a long nap or a particular time, I did it. Then worried about how he napped later.

I was also that bitch who could cosleep whilst he napped.

As PP have said, you also need to restructure your day a bit to get the most benefit. Do chores whilst he's awake in the sling, or in a chair with a snack. Eat when they eat. And try to sleep a bit earlier.

Mine slept till 12noon.

She didn’t go to sleep till midnight though.

You don’t get an early night and a late wake up, OP.

Try limiting 1sr nap to 20 mins then postpone 2nd nap to 2pm and wake him at 3:30pm. Hopefully he will start sleeping later. Also you could give water at the first night waking.

You are being unreasonable but you could cosleep and that is often a quick comfort feed and they drop back off.

Also he sounds totally normal. You were lucky wirh your eldest.

Can’t you eat earlier with the kids? We do this and therefore have more time in the evening to chill

Your baby can’t settle himself, hence the 3 short naps in the day.

My first baby gradually got better at sleeping without night wakes. My second gradually got worse, around the same age as your baby OP! By 9 months I had had enough and decided to night wean her. (I was certain she was getting enough food/milk during the day)
I did this by rocking her to sleep when she woke in the night. Obvs she was furious and cried when I didn’t feed her! But I rocked her to sleep, eventually she went to sleep - yes the first night was hard… but by night 3 - no more night waking… and it TRANSFORMED her daytime sleeping too - one or 2 much longer naps. It really was a game changer. I know of many people who have tried some sort of sleep training, some babies need help to settle themselves if they have got into that pattern.

Sorry- just re read, my DS slept through within three NIGHTS of sleep training- not months.

Mine took 3 nights too. Which I think is worth it versus years of bad sleep for the whole family.

Got a 7 month old too. He's baby 5 for us and BF too. They're all totally different but you can try to effect it. Current baby sleeps about 3 naps a day. At least an hour each. Put down for the night at 7pm, sleeps till 11pm and then wakes probably every 90mins till 5.30 when he awake for day.
Most mine did same at his age. I think I actually probably disturb him in the night as it's when I go to bed he starts waking (we cosleep) Mine all slept much better when they went in their own rooms at about a year.

I stay in bed and try to ignore him just cuddles until 6am ish. I don't give him food breakfast until 7am.
I've actually started stopping him just before he falls asleep on the boob and put him down awake in cot in the bed for his day naps. That's actually improving and lengthening his sleep cycle. Run your routine through chat gpt and see what it suggests x

Have you tried a dream feed? That worked with my youngest- I would feed her when I went to bed about 10pm then she’d settle straight back down then it was only one night time wake up around 3am so at least I got a few hours uninterrupted sleep.

He’s probs starving! Poor thing!! If you gave him a good feed the first time he woke he wouldn’t be waking again every 90 mins. Way too young to night wean

Run your routine through chat gpt and see what it suggests

Ffs.

That was a tricky age for us too but it didn't last. 🤞

No it’s not. Especially if on solids on the day. Why would they need milk twice in the night? If anything that could be stopping them eating enough in the day an it perpetuates the problem.

Yeah you've read my post wrong you twat.
I feed him when he first wakes up at 11pm, and then I feed him every time he wakes up throughout the night. I never once said I was trying to wean him. The point of me co sleeping with him is that I feed him to his schedule all night.

Also some babies are weaned at night at this age. And that's fine too. Stop being an unhelpful judgemental twunt