AIBU to expect confidentiality after raising concerns with a charity?

[HarvestSky]

I was dissatisfied with the teaching methods in a specialist subject at school. I contacted a local charity that specialises in that subject and provides teaching for teachers. I wanted to find out whether what the school was doing was best practice, and how they could improve through training courses. However I must have mentioned the school's name rather than keeping it generic as I wish I had done. Now the charity has fed back to the school through personal contacts that I told them xyz about the school's teaching, and the teachers are annoyed.
Should I have expected a reasonable degree of confidentiality from the charity or am AIBU for dobbing the school in?

How do you know how the subject is being taught? Where you in the lesson? Are you a member of staff?

@SuziQuinto No, we don't know exactly what the OP is talking about, but there are numerous comments along the lines of 'unless you're a qualified teacher, you can't comment', which is a really problematic attitude. Yes, people outside my workplace make suggestions and we actively engage with our stakeholders to get their views and feedback. We do it when we develop a new strategy, when we update our implementation plans, when we finish providing support to someone, when we are reporting to our funders, when we are applying for funding and we also welcome unsolicited feedback at any point in time. That's really standard in the charity sector and any charity not doing it will struggle to attract funding nowadays. I absolutely get that there will be some people who take more time in giving feedback and may push the boundaries but when the default seems to be 'oh you must be a nightmare parent' or 'well if you're not willing to teach it yourself then stop criticising' that is a real problem and I do believe our public services are significantly worse because of these attitudes.

That's irrelevant. I am not validating her concerns about what the school is teaching or what action she may take, I am commenting on how the charity handled her enquiry.

And yes people outside of my workplace do make requests and suggestions, and they are listened to and if there is merit, its acted upon, if not, we explain why not and move on. If she is a parent (and I don't know that she is) and has concerns over what is being taught, she is perfectly entitled to discuss it with the school and if she feels unheard, she can seek information elsewhere to decide whats valid and her way forward. I am neither confirming nor denying the right of what she is saying, just that she has a right to do this and to have confidentiality unless its a safeguarding risk.

Why does a non teacher think they know better about how to teach any subject than an actual educational professional?

You sound arrogant I'm afraid. I can't imagine any charity that exists to facilitate random members of the public changing the way teachers work in a specific school.

As others say, how would you feel if someone made a complaint about your work to an external body? When they've never done the job once themselves. You'd be pissed off surely? Anyone would.

I think there’s too much missing info to fully answer, but on the face of it, I don’t see the issue. You raised the complaint to the school and felt they didn’t take you seriously, so you went to the specialist charity, told them the school name and they’ve spoken to the school to discuss it further. It’s unlikely they gave your name, but it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist for the school to work it out.

It’s all well and good being an expert in a subject - that doesn’t mean you are qualified to teach it. There are things I am really good at. I’d be a shit teacher though because I don’t have that skill set! Presumably they are using qualified teachers meaning they know how to teach even if they don’t know the subject matter to the degree you do?

The subject would be useful to know here, and exactly what you’ve said to the school. What do you want them to do differently?

Well, we all have a "right" to do this. I wouldn't waste the time of the local firefighters by suggesting they adopt different practices, because I am not an expert.
However, it happens in schools a lot, and it very much depends what "heard" means. If your workplace changes because of feedback from the public, fine. As I said, it's more difficult with schools.
Perhaps the OP could enlighten us to allow for a productive discussion, though, as we are floundering in the dark somewhat.

I think this has to be considered within the context of scale and also responsibility.

Two different examples:

A house burns down, there are fatalities, and yet no smoke alarms were fitted. The fire service reports that the use of smoke alarms would have avoided the tragedy. The family pushes back and claims that if the fire service had responded more quickly, then there wouldn't have been any fatalities. While both are potential true, one is more easy (smoke alarms) to rectify than the other (structural problems due to funding).

A smoker and drinker has a stroke and is left with life changing injuries. The family complains saying that the treatment received in hospital was inadequate. At inquest it's found that although treatment could have been marginally better, the outcome would likely still have been the same.

In both cases the public are stakeholders here. Various campaigns have been run by both the fire service and the NHS warning people of the consequences of their action or inaction. However, for one reason or another, these haven't secured 100% buy in, and some of that is down to people not really understanding how fire or physiology works. At no point would we expect to see a member of the general public in charge at the scene of a fire or directing medical intervention. And yet, when it comes to education, everyone is an expert based on the fact that they're a parent / went to school. Just because you've been a patient / treated in hospital, we don't hold with the view that you're eminently qualified to practice medicine.

It's strange.

Good points 👍

Excellent points, and good analogies. There certainly are many parents who would seek to change content and practice, with little or no expertise or evidence.

Even before I was a teacher I worked see incorrect science. You don’t need to see a curriculum map/ SOW to know that what is being taught is wrong and introducing many misconceptions.

Mostly I just correct my children at home (primary level) with connects that teachers can’t be experts in everything and it is ok for teachers to make mistakes. I’m sure some got back to the teacher who might not be happy.

But it was a more fundamental issue and I was given the brush off I would seek guidance elsewhere.

teachers/ schools aren’t infallible and parents are fully justified in questioning what we teach. As professionals we should be able to answer those questions.

Why would a charity have an obligation to keep it confidential? It’s not like doctors or solicitors.

You asked for help communicating with the school - did you specifically state that you did not want the information to be shared with the school? Otherwise it sounds like they were trying to facilitate things by passing the information on.

No-one on here is claiming teachers are infallible. I've come across many instances of bad spelling and grammar, as well as other errors from teachers over the years.
It's clearly not about bad science or incorrect history, or poor grammar. This is about something else.

You aren't really making sense, OP. Do you have teaching qualifications or not? It sounds as though you picked up some knowledge secondary to a task involving the charity and pronounced yourself an expert on that basis.

Haven't RTFT but I don't think you've done anything wrong and am surprised by the early responses that I did read.

Seems to me you were asking for advice, not for them to take action themselves. A perfect response to being fobbed off by the school I'd have thought?

So let me get this straight. You didn't like something at the school but don't have any expert knowledge in it except for the charity you have learned from.

You contacted the school with a huge amount of entitlement to tell them they could be doing better.

You didn't like that they fobbed you off or didn't change, so you took it upon yourself to contact the charity you used and presumably you spoke to the school about.

The charity then contacted the school.

Did you really think the school wouldn't put this together?
Are you really that entitled that you think you know better?
Are you really that entitled that your issue is confidentiality rather than the above points?

YABU

There is a universal expectation of confidentiality when raising concerns. While this instance might not meet the organisation’s raining concern definition, the charity will have a raising concerns policy and confidentiality will be at the core of that policy.

It’s unprofessional at best.

I used to work in a school, and I bet the staff room was buzzing.

Don't see why. We had a very determined mum go into battle at my kids school about which periods of British history were covered in KS3. The school used to carefully cover 1066- death of Elizabeth I then skip quickly to WW1. She got that changed

What is the “concern” though?
is “They don’t teach like I want “?

Thanks so much for taking the time to write really useful comments. The AIBU is about whether I should have expected the charity to keep the issue as sensitive, but I understand that context would help.

Nothing to do with trans! No safeguarding issues.

I am a parent at the school.

The charity is internationally recognised as providing excellent training.

I have undertaken some of their training in the past and have been involved with it in other ways, 10-15 years ago. I own their teaching materials.

How do I know what is happening?
My children have told me.
I saw it myself on a school app that posts what children have done.
I saw it also at a school function.

Since I have accidentally called out the school already to the charity, and regret doing so, I want to be careful not to repeat my mistake online.

So I'll try to give an analogy.

Imagine I am a mid ranking tennis player.
My kids PE lessons at school are taken by a qualified PE teacher who shows them videos of other people playing sports in every lesson. They have a racquet but don't demonstrate using it. They will show videos of shot putt and javelin to small kids. Nice introduction but maybe not quite right for their age. Some of the videos are quite good eg BBC, others are just of kids running about in a field, sport indecipherable, from youtube. Sometimes the videos aren't even about sports but something related to the season. The video is approximately half of the lesson, and the other half they get to have a go themselves and each get one chance to hit a ball.

I have been to lots of tennis schools due to my job, and in every case we get on and play tennis rather than watching videos. Sure, you can study advanced technique by watching the pros but in the under ten age group I would argue that it's a bit of a waste of time to spend part of every lesson watching other people on a screen rather than participating.
This goes on for several months.

When the kids watch an advert where a top tennis player has teamed up with Coke, I ask the school not to show junk food adverts. They try to cover it up but also say the lesson was a gateway to learning about tennis.

I make a second complaint that under fives are also being taught PE using videos as the basis of their lesson, while on the other hand the school emails us about reducing screen time for that age group. (they have an attached nursery)

Then at a school sports day they show a video where a pupil is holding a tennis racquet like a gun, imitating a character from popular culture. I talk afterwards to the head of department and say it's me who has been complaining that I think the videos are out of hand and I would love to discuss the curriculum. I'm waved off in irritation and told there doesn't need to be any restriction on videos.

At this point I contact the charity. The charity arranges top class tennis matches which I used to take part in, with a teaching arm on how to teach tennis.

I call them and say, I have this issue with the school using videos and I know your style of teaching uses none at all. I'd love your help in trying to work out how to talk to the school about this matter.

They don't reply but senior staff from the school invite me in to tell me what a naughty parent I have been for not trusting them to teach and for contacting another organisation. They also listened carefully and are going to report back. My issue is not with the school's eventual response but as a previous poster really got right - the manner in which the story came back round to the school via the grapevine from an organisation I respect.

Is the school a feeder for tennis champions?
or is tennis meant to be one of many fun sporty activities?
what do you need the school to be teaching tennis to your dc for since you’re an expert?

Maybe you can take over teaching, as you are the expert.

You must keep the staff room very entertained.

That's an odd take.

OP said she DOES have lots of knowledge in this area.

No entitlement whatsoever in contacting the school to enquire about the way something is taught - parents are service users of schools. There's nothing at all to suggest OP was rude in her communication with the school.

Why would anyone be happy with being fobbed off? If you had a legitimate concern that you didn't feel was resolved, you'd just say 'ah well', would you?

She contacted the charity to ask if she was right in thinking that the school wasn't using best practice. Absolutely nowhere does it say she asked them to wade in and give the school advice.

And yes, confidentiality is absolutely her issue here, that's her question.

If you feel that strongly own it and tell school what you’ve done

have you any qualifications in the given area that you are unhappy about

did you follow the schools complaint policy I would of thought it would be be an ofstead issue rather than a random charity

Has the school properly explained to you why it is using the approach it is? why it does not choose to adopt the charity’s approach?

it’s hard to tell whether you’re talking about different approaches but for good reasons, or really sub-standard provision at the school. In which case, even if it’s to do with lack of resources or of trained teachers, they should be open and able to explain that.